Couch 94 - Blowtorches R' Us

Eireann go bragh!

(No idea how to do fadas with tapatalk, so just pretend they're there...)

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My T just made things worse. I didn't think that was possible but she sent me an email blowing me off about being hurt about being blown off. .. basically implying it's all in my head which it is NOT.

I don't know if I'm pissed off or about to dissolve in tears

I always choose pissed off rather than tears.
Sorry she is being so useless this weekend.

Vote #2 for pissed off, it's more of an empowering emotion. Tears make me weak.

Sorry BB I'm trying to make you smile, I hope you feel better real soon.

Problem is I'm not very good at pissed off. I'm better at crying. Which is sad because I
really dont cry well either.
I made a last desperate plea for understanding againSt my better judgement. It will likely be ignored.

When I am pissed I cry! Sorry your T was so insensitive!

Trying to stay out of my head and keep it together for dinner tonight before the mister leaves town again for awhile. I know he likes to be home and I feel bad for saying it but I manage all this stuff better when he's not home. Oh, well. *sigh*

First time my family was all under the same roof in awhile. Took a hike on one of the trails in our State Parks. It was beautiful and we were having a great time. Then when I thought we were lost I had a panic attack and suddenly got anxious. I said something like you don't know where we are going or something like that. I made everyone upset with me. I felt unsafe and I panicked they didn't see that they saw mom is acting *****y. I was really remorseful, but my husband didn't try to comfort me nor intervene when the kids got angry with me. I hate myself for being anxious and ruining the day.

two more weeks until T I hope I can make it!

So I just got an email from t (actually she sent it 3 hours ago but I didn't look at my email til now) about her coming to town, now I'm hopefully going to see her day after tomorrow after work! Assuming she doesn't change her mind because it's going to be in the evening... and she's gonna be tired from getting up so early to fly in.... I hope she doesn't change her mind! I suppose I will deal with it if she does.

Art, tell your work you have a some important business to handle and you need to leave early or take a long lunch or whatever. You're a valuable employee. You deserve to be accommodated. It's not like it's something you would ask every day.

Stopdog, I did not want to derail your other thread, but do you really let your clients just sit and talk to you over and over about their emotional stuff? I will let them rant to some extent, but almost always get sick of it and try to shut it down pretty quickly. I do not think it is part of my job description to listen to the same diatribes over and over.

Melting down tonight.

I got the distinct impression she tells them to stop wasting her time and their money and to go hire a therapist already

Yeah... I told her I would try to get off an hour early, but... I don't know if that will even work. Oh well it will be okay. I will talk myself through this with ya'alls help.

Art, this is important to you. You've been going above and beyond for work far a while now. You deserve this.
I would say the true test of your therapy is not being okay with not getting to see your T, but advocating for yourself to get what you want. Take the whole day off if necessary. This is your only chance to get something you really want just for you, right? Pull out all the stops and make it happen!

I'm not very good at pissed off either. I cry too. Much to my chagrin I excel at crying, being a very emotional sort; I cry when I'm really happy, when I'm sad, when I hurt, when I'm stressed, when I'm angry... I'm sorry your t is not understanding where you are at.

You are right. Thank you!!! I don't belong in this helpless mode. I belong in full goddess mode!!! I must live up to the Artemis in my s/n and get this DONE! You're awesome JS.

Kia kaha!

Lol! You're feeling better today, I think?

Evening couch. Home and fed. I got off from CVS an hour early, due to it being dead. It was pretty busy earlier in my shift, but died down after about 8pm. Oh well. On of the other techs working today swears because it is a holiday we get time and a half. I don't know though, I thought that was only for things like Christmas and New Year. I'll take it if it is true, but I am not counting on it.

Had Taco Bell for supper, haven't had it in years. I reminded myself I was not missing much. It was good, but not great.

Had several odd phone calls at work today. A guy wanted to get his Singular refilled. He had gotten partial fills several times, so he only had 30 tablets of a 90 tablet prescription left. He swears we are wrong and he never partial filled. He swore up and down someone else must have stolen his identity and filled his prescriptions to get high and was going to sue our store for not protecting his identity. Just....wow. That is all I have to say.

Had another guy swear that we were discriminating against him (he came in person) because we told him it was too soon to fill a new script of a narcotic. Umm, sorry state law only allows you to fill 2 days early, you are 4 days early. There is nothing we can do. Even if we wanted to break the law, the computer would block up from processing the new script. He swore because it was a different strength it was a different drug and didn't fall under that law. Ummm...sorry, it is still oxycodone. We get this sort of thing from parents of kids on Adderall all the time too.

Interesting customer #3: Drops off a script for morphine sulfate. He did not fill with our pharmacy since Feb. So, the pharmacist checks the state controlled substance database to see if he had filled anywhere else, he had just 3 days ago, so she says we can't fill it. I let him know. He walks away and returns 5 minutes later with another script for a different narcotic. Of course the pharmacist said no again. 10 minutes later he returns with even another script, the pharmacist is quite suspicious now and approaches him herself to tell him that we cannot fill any narcotics from him right now.

Then there was the patient who got po-ed because her doctor's DEA number was expired according to the database we have, so of course we could not fill her Ativan. Hey, not our fault lady. I understand her frustration, but there's nothing we can do. Her doctor needs to resolve the issue.

Hah. Well, I want to try to clean a little bit more before I go to bed. Have T in the morning. 2nd session with new T. Wonder how she is in a regular session (not an intake one).

Having a glass of my favorite wine and feeling better.....

The US drug laws are insane and the puritanical approach to people suffering is inexcusable.

agreed.

(but i can't do a one-word response so I had to type this.)

Yeah but i love my pharmacy people. I told them maybe 20 years ago or more that i wanted to get all my meds synced up so i didnt have to go there every 3 days it seemed like - now they are offering it as a service!! I asked my girl did she remember me saying that? She said yes. What a liar!!

Eta - but - you can bet like jackie o didnt suffer. Just us peons.