I know there are many different reasons we are in therapy and many different types of therapies/therapists. Some therapists seem to want goals and one of those goals is probably an end to the therapy one day. But some people seem to need ongoing support or at least the promise/offer of possibly going back indefinitely. I see nothing wrong with either scenario, but I am wondering if one is more common than the other?

Some of us have insurance to consider. Most insurances (MOST) won't pay for therapy indefinitely and therapy is expensive. It might not be something many people can fit into their budget forever. I think private pay is ideal, but it isn't realistic for many.

For me I am not sure if I have goals or where/when/how I see therapy ending. It's totally different from the first therapy I went through.

Do you think about the end of therapy? Do you think you might need support indefinitely? I am not saying either is wrong or right and there might even be other situations I am not thinking of.

[SoupDragon]

I pay privately for therapy and I have invested a lot of money. I would like my T to move in with me, (not anything erotic), but just so I can wheel them out of the cupboard from time to time if I want a chat about things.

However I am increasing thinking about going it alone. I obviously survived life before therapy and although I have my issues, think there is an improvement.

I think there has to be a time to go it alone, maybe life will never be perfect for me, but I want to be independent at some point.

[gayleggg]

I see myself needing support indefinitely. Mine is more of a supportive nature to help spot any mood changes and to help with any faulty thinking on my part. I don't go but every 3 or 4 weeks now so it's mostly maintenance.

I can see it going either way and being appropriate either way depending on the individual.

For me, I definitely went through times when I thought I'd have to be in therapy forever. My therapist never thought so and always reminded me that the goal is to reach that place where therapy isn't needed. In the back of my mind I thought, "Yeah right, T, but I'm never going to reach that point." But over time, I did reach that place despite what I thought about my ability to ever get there. I haven't needed regular therapy for over a year now and I don't foresee ever really needing long-term therapy again. I do see myself going in occasionally for a few sessions here or there to deal with situational issues perhaps, but I also see that as very short-term (and I think research holds out that most people only go to therapy short-term and move on).

I could be wrong. Something could change for me, and I'm open to that. But what I've found about myself is that now I have the tools in my belt to manage and cope with what life throws at me in much more effective ways than I did when I went into therapy. I find that so far, I am able to use what I know on my own pretty effectively, so needing long-term therapy (that took so long originally because I was starting from scratch and had to learn those skills) probably won't be further needed.

[JaneTennison1]

I'm kind of both camps. I see an end to what we are dealing with and then I will move on with life BUT I also wouldn't rule out going back (to my T or anyone else) if I had a situational problem I felt I needed support on.

I don't see an end to my suffering and I don't think I'll quit T until I quit suffering, so no.

I know that there will be an ending, because my T will retire. I don't know whether I will be okay by then, but it's very unlikely that I could find another T who is an equally good match and who can give me unlimited sessions within the system (so I don't have to pay.) So when my T retires that will be the ending of my therapy, not just with him, but for the rest of my life.

[laxer12]

I know there will be an ending because I'll graduate in a year and the chances of me staying where I am are very slim. Will there be an ending with my T before then? From a financial standpoint, I hope so, but emotionally, I'm not sure that I will be comfortable stopping completely. I'll probably space out sessions more towards the end but I would like to see her, in some capacity, as long as I am here.

Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to therapy and I won't be able to go without it. I grew up doing everything on my own and never talking about difficult situations or emotions with anyone so now that I have someone who listens, I don't want to leave it behind. I'm hoping my T can help me work through this but I know it will be really hard for me to end therapy with her regardless of if it is my choice or if it's because I move.

Thank you everyone for the replies. I appreciate the perspectives.

I value the confidentiality of therapy so much. I need that space for myself. I am functioning decently in life. I do have a couple of ongoing issues, but I'm living with them. I will never have the trust that I did with the old therapist, but I'm finding I don't really need that. I do need somewhere that is just my space. That is one reason I would NOT want my husband or anyone else in therapy with me. It's my space. It's fine if others want family or whoever with them in therapy. If that is what helps or what they need it's good. But for me I just need somewhere for me. And she seems safe. I just am not sure about long term goals or what the ending will be like. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I've already been through a bad ending and a good ending so I could do it. I just am not sure what I'm doing. Sounds stupid I know.

Thanks again.

Just keep plugging away and try not to worry too much about how long it will take or what the end will be like. Somewhere along the line I learned to try to just take things one moment at a time. The alternative to was to spend too much time worrying about the future (in all sorts of aspects of my life) and I just couldn't keep living in that kind of stress and anxiety. I've learned the best I can do for myself is to try to be in the present moment and let the future moments be in their own moments rather than today.

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I value the confidentiality of therapy so much. I need that space for myself. I am functioning decently in life. I do have a couple of ongoing issues, but I'm living with them. I will never have the trust that I did with the old therapist, but I'm finding I don't really need that. I do need somewhere that is just my space. That is one reason I would NOT want my husband or anyone else in therapy with me. It's my space. It's fine if others want family or whoever with them in therapy. If that is what helps or what they need it's good. But for me I just need somewhere for me. And she seems safe. I just am not sure about long term goals or what the ending will be like. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I've already been through a bad ending and a good ending so I could do it. I just am not sure what I'm doing. Sounds stupid I know.

Thanks again.

Doesn't sound stupid to me at all. For whatever it's worth, having that space that is just mine is really important to me as well - to the point where I don't tell anybody in my family that I'm in therapy. I do not want my H to know, it would mean that the space was no longer my own.

[Favorite Jeans]

At the moment I don't have an end to therapy in sight. It is a huge budget item and takes up a lot of my emotional energy. However my life is feeling very hard, very confusing and very uncertain of late and I feel like I really need the care, support and perspective that therapy gives me. I wish I had more support and community than I do. I wish therapy were not my main source of support. Sometimes that makes me feel very lonely and scared. I hope there comes a time when therapy feels more optional, more like an added bonus or strategy to help me when I need it rather than survival or sustenance. But that's where I am right now.

[Chummy]

I don't think I'll Always be in therapy. At least I hope not. That I have been so long in therapy is mostly because I had have bad T's before I got my my current T. I'm now back in therapy for severe depression, low self esteem, no confidence... I think I'll be in thereapy for at least the rest of this year. Maybe also next year, for some support to go back to school and stuff. I don't have a lot of hope that I will be feeling better any time soon.

[ruh roh]

I wish it could go on as long as I need it, but my therapist plans to retire in a few years. She did say that if I'm interested, there's a possibility she would still work a little and I could continue after she retires. Even so, I'm trying to get as far as I can with the time I've got; hopefully, that will be a long time. I don't want to see a different therapist. This one has been perfect for me.

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

Thank you everyone for the replies. I appreciate the perspectives.

I value the confidentiality of therapy so much. I need that space for myself. I am functioning decently in life. I do have a couple of ongoing issues, but I'm living with them. I will never have the trust that I did with the old therapist, but I'm finding I don't really need that. I do need somewhere that is just my space. That is one reason I would NOT want my husband or anyone else in therapy with me. It's my space. It's fine if others want family or whoever with them in therapy. If that is what helps or what they need it's good. But for me I just need somewhere for me. And she seems safe. I just am not sure about long term goals or what the ending will be like. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I've already been through a bad ending and a good ending so I could do it. I just am not sure what I'm doing. Sounds stupid I know.

Thanks again.

Having a space just for yourself where to vent or be silent or whatever makes total sense to me.
The thing is, I don't think my T sees it that way as she's always asking me about my goals. Stresses me out.

[stopdog]

The two I see are both over 65 so I assume some day they will retire or die. I don't go because of any big problem. Right now it is more a way to have an outlet for a grave illness in the family.

[healingme4me]

My T is retiring in two years. We'll see how I feel about newly forming a therapeutic client/t relationship...

[woods girl]

My will go on as long as I need it to. My T is in it for the long haul...

[JustShakey]

Once I'm done rebuilding my life and playing catch-up after essentially losing most of the last 15 years to an abusive relationship I'll be done. Not sure how long that's gonna take, but I'll get there.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I value the confidentiality of therapy so much. I need that space for myself. I am functioning decently in life. I do have a couple of ongoing issues, but I'm living with them. I will never have the trust that I did with the old therapist, but I'm finding I don't really need that. I do need somewhere that is just my space. That is one reason I would NOT want my husband or anyone else in therapy with me. It's my space. It's fine if others want family or whoever with them in therapy. If that is what helps or what they need it's good. But for me I just need somewhere for me. And she seems safe. I just am not sure about long term goals or what the ending will be like. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I've already been through a bad ending and a good ending so I could do it.)

I also use my T as a safe space for myself, just to talk about whatever is on my mind, vent, feel supported, etc.I will continue to go as long as I find it helpful. I will be moving within the next year or two and, originally, I planned on ending at that time. Recently, my T offered the option of phone sessions after I move. I'm not sure yet if I'll do that-- it's still a ways away-- but I might. I feel no pressure to end. If I like therapy and it's affordable, I see no reason to have ending as a goal. My life is going well and therapy provides a safe, supportive space.

[rainbow8]

I don't see an ending but I can visualize seeing my T less often, or "as needed." I'm not ready for that now, though, and it makes me sad to think about. I wouldn't voluntarily quit. I've never wanted to quit seeing any of my Ts except for one. I know I need my T's help in dealing with changes in my life that are inevitable as I am growing older, especially now that my husband is sick. So I won't stop seeing her unless she moves away, stops practicing, or dies.

[justdesserts]

I can't imagine my therapy ending, but I really want to be well and whole and when that happens, therapy will end, or at least go to an as needed basis. My therapist and I believe I can heal. I wish I knew the time frame.

[growlycat]

I think I will be in some kind of therapy for the rest of my life. Maybe not weekly at some point.

Specifically with current T's:

Psychodynamic T-- If he retires or dies that is the end of therapy with him. Right now I only talk to him on the phone once ever 2 weeks for about 15 min. Not truly therapy anymore, just support.

CBT T-- I'll see him until I get another job and move once more. It is not likely or workable to see this particular T by phone. If therapy ends with him I may go back to the psychodynamic route.

My worry is that psychodynamic can go on and on Woody Allen style and never lead anywhere. CBT therapy has the opposite problem of not being very "deep". I'm in a conundrum

[ThingWithFeathers]

I've always seen an ending to t. I went in knowing it was a time limited process - though how long I did not know. I'm still not sure when I'll have worked through my stuff and am ready to finish up, but no time soon. But, yes, time limited for me.

[unaluna]

Im on meds, so i guess i will always need a pdoc.