I can't do this anymore, health anxiety is killing me.

I really feel hopeless at this moment. I can't do it anymore. I'm only 19 and I've probably wasted my entire life worrying about being sick (I have GAD). Now, it's surpassed. Let me explain the situation. This might be embarrassing but I can't hold it in anymore.
Last month I had final exams. So from the very beginning of the month I was worrying myself sick because I wanted to do well, not just pass, but get over 90. So with all that stress, I didn't eat anything. Lost about 5 pounds I would say. So, that month my menstrual cycle was longer than usual (it's usually 7 days, it went to like 11). So I freaked out, but this month, I was worried about it and when it came I worried it won't stop and it hasn't. I'm losing myself right now. Ive been crying for the past 3 days and feeling like I can't go on with my life. So many horrible scenarios are coming to my mind and I CANT go to the doctors because that's part of the reason I'm going to therapy, I have a phobia of anything medical related. I dont know what to do anymore, I talked to my mom and she says it's all the stress I'm going through.

I really need some reassurance because my motivation for going on is getting extremely low. Please help me.

Could you contact your therapist or ask your mother to contact her for you?

I could email her but this is such an embarrassing topic I can't do it.

One thing that I say is that "I can do anything" as I say this I touch my fingers with my thumb. It calms me down. I do it over and over until I start to believe it myself.

As for the cycle, I believe it is stress. I've heard of some being two weeks long. Don't worry it will end. I'm not a doctor but I do know stress will do funny things to the body so just take some time to relax

Variance in lengths of cycles aren't all that unusual. It is unlikely there is anything physically wrong with you. While some women have cycles that are like clockwork; many others do not and have a great deal of variability in time between cycles and length of cycles themselves. Unless your having unusual changes in the heaviness of your periods, increased pain, something along that line, I wouldn't fret too much about it. Changes in weight, stress, simply changes in hormones as you go from adolescence into adulthood can affect a woman's cycle.

Sounds like you need to continue to work on your anxiety problems with your therapist. Be honest with your therapist about what you are feeling and thinking. They can't really help you if they don't know what is going on.

Ive wanted to tell her about this since the first time it happened but I'm so embarrassed. I dont know if I should.

I know its hard but your therapist needs to know.

Do you think it's embarrassing though? Would you do it?

It is embarrassing but at the same time telling someone about this is important. It's the only way that your therapist can really help you. I would do this, I know it's hard but it comes down to trust. Do you trust your therapist?

I do but isn't the topic personal? Do you think therapists have heard it before?

Yes they have. And if not then your therapist is not the right one for you. They are trained to deal with the unexpected

I really really want to. Like I can't handle it alone anymore but the fear of embarrassment and judgement is getting in the way.

Like Puzzclar says, your T will most likely have heard loads of stuff like this. I do really hear that it's embarrassing for you, but honestly lots of people talk to their T's about menstruation and much 'worse'.
I told my T some really yucky stuff before and she didn't bat an eyelid. Maybe write it down if it makes it easier not to say the words? Or could you or your Mum email and tell her?

Something I've learned to ask myself is: Which is worse, 30 seconds of embarrassment while I tell my T what's going on, or days of anxiety as I suffer alone? When I put it in that light...I can accept the embarrassment. Sometimes I'll even tell T that I'm really embarrassed about what I need to tell her, she usually just nods her head and waits patiently while I gather up the courage to say what I need to say.

Hi AnxiousGirl, I deeply sympathize. I, too have great fear of medical professionals.

It's very possible the stress and the weight loss have combined to affect your period. I've missed multiple months before or had extended bleeding during times of great stress. Can you try and take good care of yourself, remember to eat well and drink water, and do something that relaxes you? I'm willing to bet that that will help.

You're going to be okay. This happens to a LOT of people and doesn't necessarily require medical intervention. I'm not a doctor, but it's really only going to be problem if you start having unusual pain, fever, or other physical symptoms. I would suggest that you need to drink plenty of water and eat foods with plenty of iron in them, so you don't become anemic or dehydrated.

Have you considered that the intensity of how you're feeling, and what you're experiencing with your period, may be because your hormones are out of whack? Often birth control pills can get that under control. Yes, that takes a trip to the doctor and a pelvic exam, so maybe that's something you can consider and talk to your therapist about preparing for if you want to try it. But you could also try and manage it through diet, relaxation techniques, and all that good stuff. My periods got way more regular when I was going to the gym frequently.

Might I suggest you prepare yourself to talk to your therapist about it, since you're having a hard time with it? Our society teaches us to be ashamed of our periods, even though they're natural and nothing to be concerned about. You're far from alone in dealing with embarrassment over it. Try watching some youtube videos where people discuss periods, google for and read some stories about empowerment and normalizing periods as a part of life, listen to people talk openly about it. Seeing others talk freely about it and not be embarrassed might help you normalize it as well.

You are in school, you are working hard, and that is not wasting your life. You're in therapy, working to learn to deal with your anxiety, and that is not wasting your life. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with such stress and anxiety, but you have made it this far, and that means there is something in you - grit, determination, strength, courage, passion, hope – that has carried you through. That is still with you, and even though you struggle with being afraid, there are still good things in life worth having and enjoying. Try to celebrate them, and yourself, and your victories.

You can make it through this. I believe in you.

Yeah I could easily email her (she always tell me to email her at least once a week but I dont because I'm scared and dont want to bother her). I can't build the courage to.

Thank you so much for this, really. I just feel hopeless because I'm dealing with it all alone and I'm too afraid to let my therapist know what's going on. I'm scared that she would say "the only way to find out is to go to the doctor" and honestly I know this sounds horrible, but I rather die than do that.

I'm a 52-year-old woman who sees a male therapist, and trust me, we've talked about sex, periods, menopause, childbirth, you name it. He was very matter-of-fact about these things, and I was actually pretty comfortable talking to him. I would think talking to a female therapist about such things would be a little easier. After all, she's been there.

Trust me. They've heard much more personal things about people than natural bodily functions. Your anxiety about talking is probably much worse than the actually discussion will be.

Women's cycles can change due to diet and stress. Also, I would suggest calling your gynecologist and your therapist. Birth control pills can help regulate your cycle, however you would be introducing a hormone into your body, so I would let the therapist know. Beside these doctors have had many patients, they have heard it all. You are not their 1st patient that is experiencing something "new". But in order for any doctor to be able to help you or treat you they do need to know the "whole" picture. Please be honest with them or they cannot treat you properly. Good luck!!

I know that feeling. Has it turned into something that's circulating in your mind a lot and adding to your stress?

It's highly, highly, highly unlikely you're going to die from periods that are running a little long.

It sounds like you're afraid to talk to her because she will tell you to go to the doctor, and that's what really scares you. As she is not a doctor herself, she can't really help you with medical problems, other than probably to tell you what we've told you here, or tell you to go to the doctor. So yes, that's possible.

Here's an idea: prepare yourself beforehand in case she tells you that. Prepare yourself so that if she tells you to go to the doctor, you are ready to tell her NO. If you need to, just decide you're not going at least for now. Put a trip to the doctor on the back shelf. Say "No, I'm afraid of doctors and I'm not going." Then ask her to just listen to your fears, validate them, encourage you, support you - whatever it is you need emotionally that will help you.

I don't know where your fear of doctors came from, but mine came from being physically restrained, treated roughly, and subjected to painful things when I was very sick as a child, so it's the issue of lack of control that upsets me. So this may not be helpful if your fear is coming from a different place, but this is what's been helpful for me -

Just remember, you don't have to go, and nobody can force you. Push you, encourage you, sure, but not make you. You are a legal adult now. You are in control of your healthcare, including making decisions about when and when not to seek care. It's okay if you don't go. That is your choice. There may be consequences to your health if you do not go, but it is still your choice. You have the power to make that decision. So make that decision to say NO if you need to. Own that power.

The reason I encourage you to do this is because I have found that owning my control and autonomy has helped me get through some things that scared me a lot, including going to the doctor. Learning that it's okay and within my rights to say "no" helped give me greater confidence because I knew then that if I said "yes," I could revoke that "yes" at any time if it became too much. I can walk out the door any time and never go back, and no one can stop me.

I had GAD too. My periods were long, 7 days. You haven't changed type of tampon or pad have you? I switched to the "new" (at the time) super absorbent tampons before they knew they caused toxic shock and that increased my period length and mildly made me ill so I stopped them pretty quick (only used them for one or two periods). So if you changed anything in your routine, I would go back to what makes you comfortable and what you know.

The length of time is not too important when you are young, especially if you were messing with your diet/how much you were/were not eating. Yes, stress can mess with that like it messes with your head too, makes you more anxious? I use to get almost suicidal a day or two before my period and the week of. Reminding myself of that (that it was only that week or two) did not make me feel better but it helped me wait it out.

If I were you, I would go out and find myself a decent meal with meat, vegetables, the whole deal. Your body definitely needs nutritional support and that you don't have to go to anyone for, you just have to do it. Without it, the GAD gets worse and it becomes a bad cycle you don't want to be part of (as in cyclone :-) Without the nutrition you could get really sick, not just worried you are or are getting so.

I am a medical professional I hope it's ok for me to reply.

Now, I'm not going to give you medical advice here but as many others have said there are many reasons why menstrual cycles can be a bit messed up, especially where stress and lack or regular nutrition are involved.

What I will say though is that loads of people dread coming to see medical people, in fact to be honest who really wants to go? it usually means something isn't quite right physically or you are having a check up, but even then we worry that someone will find something not quite right. Most people stress and worry a bit, some people get super anxious, and some people get so anxious it really prevents them from accessing the healthcare they need. It's really a good idea to get this talked about in therapy, try if you can to send an email letting her know that you need to talk about this.

As far as embarrassing things go, well I'm not a T (good heaven's, the very thought) but people have to tell me embarrassing things every day and almost everyone struggles with this. Honestly though, I can tell you there is pretty much nothing I haven't heard (or seen) at this point. And, as far as having to examine people go, well, I do it every day and looking at parts of the anatomy which are generally kept covered are no different from looking at an arm or a leg to me, absolutely no different at all. I understand completely that it is different for the patient but to me the person is a whole person not a set of parts if that makes sense.

I've no idea if it helps hearing it from the other side or not but please remember that even if you do go to see a doctor or anyone else, no one can or should ever do anything to you without you being ok with it. You are in control of the whole thing. If at anytime you want to leave you can, if you don't want to be examined you don't have to be. If you don't understand something, tell the medic they need to explain what they are talking about 100 times if necessary. This is your care, about you and above everything else you are the only person in the room who matters.

Taking final exams is really stressful for everyone. And cycles often get messed up with stress. I would guess that some of your fellow students also have had unusual cycles. It can take a while to come down from the stress of exams, when your body does, your cycle will probably go back to normal. I'Ve talked about more embarrassing bodily stuff with my T. I can't imagine that your T will be phased by it. And you will probably find it a relief to talk about it.

I have told my T everything and anything. She reacts normally no matter what is said. I think you should just email her. Being embarrassed is better than feeling so stressed and upset. At least I would think.

This isn't embarrassing at all. Please tell her. Good luck

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