[Soccer mom]

I have a lot of emotions in between sessions and realize a lot. I wish I didn't have to wait so long to see my T. Ready to tell her. And, then a few days/hours before I think to myself how ridiculous all of this is. I shouldn't see her as a motherly figure and I shouldn't want so much from her. I guess I feel childish about it all? Which tells me it's coming from my inner child. But, it makes opening up in the beginning difficult because I'm minimizing my feelings. We talked about it once (she pointed it out) but it's been a long time ago.

I guess I have a difficult time accepting my feelings. Any ideas about how to get past it? A year later it's still hard.

[gayleggg]

Have you tried journaling and sharing it with your T. It might help open up the dialog.

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[Soccer mom]

I've actually talked to her about it. She tells me I'm minimizing. But, unfortunately, I'm not sure anything she says will help. I guess I'm going to have to experience over and over telling her things and getting a "normal" reaction. I just hate the anxiety it produces.

[gayleggg]

I understand about hating the anxiety, as I've been suffering from that myself.

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I have a lot of emotions in between sessions and realize a lot. I wish I didn't have to wait so long to see my T. Ready to tell her. And, then a few days/hours before I think to myself how ridiculous all of this is. I shouldn't see her as a motherly figure and I shouldn't want so much from her. I guess I feel childish about it all? Which tells me it's coming from my inner child. But, it makes opening up in the beginning difficult because I'm minimizing my feelings. We talked about it once (she pointed it out) but it's been a long time ago.

I guess I have a difficult time accepting my feelings. Any ideas about how to get past it? A year later it's still hard.

This could have been written by me. I have three weeks to a month between sessions and I have so many emotions and feelings that I want and really need to tell my T but I don't want to bother her and I can email but she never answers in depth. Its tough. I feel like some of my feelings are dumb and I shouldn't be feeling them.

I have been keeping two therapy journals. One is what my T says and one is what I say. It has helped my therapy. Maybe you could try keeping a journal?

[Soccer mom]

I do write everything down I can remember after my sessions. but, T. and I are figuring out that I don't remember everything she tells me. I tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive things she says. Yikes. So, my journal might not be realistic. I have also gone through and highlighted the positive remarks she has made. It has helped.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I have a lot of emotions in between sessions and realize a lot. I wish I didn't have to wait so long to see my T. Ready to tell her. And, then a few days/hours before I think to myself how ridiculous all of this is. I shouldn't see her as a motherly figure and I shouldn't want so much from her. I guess I feel childish about it all? Which tells me it's coming from my inner child. But, it makes opening up in the beginning difficult because I'm minimizing my feelings. We talked about it once (she pointed it out) but it's been a long time ago.

I guess I have a difficult time accepting my feelings. Any ideas about how to get past it? A year later it's still hard.

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I do write everything down I can remember after my sessions. but, T. and I are figuring out that I don't remember everything she tells me. I tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive things she says. Yikes. So, my journal might not be realistic. I have also gone through and highlighted the positive remarks she has made. It has helped.

Another things that has helped me more than anything is recording my sessions. I use an app on my phone. I will listen to my sessions and I know what is said by both of us (my memory is awful) and I can hear her calm soothing voice. Its a win, win. I would suggest recording your sessions. Trust me, it helps more than anything (other than being in session). The only issue I have is I HATE hearing my voice. I wish I could just listen to my T.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

Another things that has helped me more than anything is recording my sessions. I use an app on my phone. I will listen to my sessions and I know what is said by both of us (my memory is awful) and I can hear her calm soothing voice. Its a win, win. I would suggest recording your sessions. Trust me, it helps more than anything (other than being in session). The only issue I have is I HATE hearing my voice. I wish I could just listen to my T.

Hmm, that's a thought and she might actually agree since I seem to not take it all in. Did you ask your T? What app do you use?

[growlycat]

A timely post, Soccermom! I'm going through this now. Ever since he said something in today's session that set me off, I'm frustrated knowing that I'm going to be fighting really bad feelings until I see him again. I have become so needy towards CBT T it isn't funny.

Hoping fellow pc'ers have good strategies because I'm at a loss too.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

Hmm, that's a thought and she might actually agree since I seem to not take it all in. Did you ask your T? What app do you use?

I use skyro and I can send it to my Dropbox. I asked my T and she thought it was a great idea.

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[Ellahmae]

I also use skyro. Love it!

[just2b]

This has been posted with me in mind too!! There are parts of me that kinda crave T's attention, comfort, understanding, and calmness. Yet others despise all of it! They don't despise her just the feelings that others have regarding her. They think it's ridiculous and stupid to want to seek her comfort or understanding or to even text her with a problem when triggers happen. There are others that feel like it should be no big deal. Like who cares if one likes the comfort she brings us or not. Some just talk and that is enough without feeling anything towards her or for her. Others hide behind some others when doing EMDR so that when she taps our knees they can be close to her. Trying to get to the point where everyone can have their own way of feeling and dealing but others that disagree should not interfere with work or progress. That is hard. Last session it came out that someone feels uncomfortable that T said " she thought of ( the host ) over the weekend" and didn't want T to think of her (host) and T explained that though she is a T and i / we are client it will happen that she thinks of her clients as situations arise that are similar to what she has experienced in her daily life. T said we have to experience and learn to tolerate uncomfortable feelings. It certainly isn't easy....