[withit]

So I'm seeing this new t for about two months. Just the other time I told her that with my first t (this goes back about ten years ago, a t I worked with for five years) it felt so different, like I was infatuated with her....and that here I don't feel it....maybe because I'm in a different stage....She confirmed it by saying I was probably more vulnerable back then....

Later in the session she says she was reading an article...and she thought of me...

What can I say, I began to feel cozy inside of me....that she thought of me...kinda bridges the gap of disconnect....and I began having warm and fuzzy feelings inside of me....even had a dream about her this morning....in which she was the soothing mothering figure....

Thinking whether this is the beginnings of a ''positive transference''

And then thinking whether there being a positive transference makes for the possibility of a 'negative transference'.... And once there's a negative transference (rupture) there's opportunity for working through of the negative transference....which I believe is a mainstay of therapy.

Awaiting your insightful thoughts....

[SecretGarden]

Positive transference is much more cozy.... lol....

Wish we could belly up to the bar and order what we would like for the session... as that is what I would order right now.

However, yes you are growing a relationship and in time the negative transference will undoubtedly show up as needed.... hopefully in a positive fashion. It can be fun and insightful or it can not be fun but insightful or.....

[Perna]

I don't know that it's transference; someone thought of you! That's nice by itself and not related to anyone else besides you and the person who thought of you. Sounds like the beginning of a good working relationship to me.

I believe transference has to be worked through, doesn't matter whether it's positive or negative; if it doesn't "belong" in the actual relationship between you and your T it needs to be seen for what it is. It doesn't matter if you loved your mother because she gave you cookies and milk every afternoon after school and your T offers you a cookie. . . she's not your mother!

But your T thinking of you while reading something, that's what T's do I think; they have to think of us in order to work with us, we have "substance" and make an impression on them, personally; they usually don't have to ask us our names anew each week :-) It's not one way, T's think of us just like we think of them only differently.

[lauren_helene]

Positive transference? Not me this week!

I'm wondering though, my transference with my therapist didn't start until about five months into therapy. This must be around the time he went into his "routine".

So maybe yours will begin soon? I'm so happy for you that your T thought of you and shared the article with you.

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withit said:
Later in the session she says she was reading an article...and she thought of me...

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Yes! Awesome! Same thing with me... one time my T said he read a Virginia Woolf quote and it reminded him of me. I was dying because not only did it confirm that he thought of me outside of session, but it also confirmed that he knew me. Really knew me. Was able to recognize my passion for writing and get inside me as a person.

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Thinking whether this is the beginnings of a ''positive transference''

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Rather than transference, this is more about what you said before-- bridging the gap of disconnect-- a beautiful accomplishment for you.

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And then thinking whether there being a positive transference makes for the possibility of a 'negative transference'.... And once there's a negative transference (rupture) there's opportunity for working through of the negative transference....which I believe is a mainstay of therapy.

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Very true, indeed. I have been on a negative transference kick with my T. But as far as purpose, it is very positive. McWilliams stated that the transference of anger signals autonomy-- the ability to pull away from T and have your own feelings. The T should encourage this-- "I am glad to see you are able to get angry at me." A difficult spin on countertransference from the persepctive of the T-- but very necessary if the T is able to see it from this point of view.