My T is very pushy. For example she wants me to go volunteer at the local library. I've said multiple times that I don't think that's a good idea for a good reason, and she writes down 'I'm afraid to go and volunteer at the library' and continues to push. She's after me to meet up with a friend in the week in which both she and my parents are on holiday and asks me every session if I've had contact with her and planned a meet-up yet and tells me to do so ASAP even though I've told her multiple times it's not as easy as that (my friend is also mentally ill and is about to enter a residential facility for at least six months. I know her better than my T does and I know what I can do to help her and what not. T doesn't accept (respect?) that.). She continues to push.

Is this normal?

[divine1966]

Mine tried to push on two occasions (similar to your situations). It didn't go well. I was furious. Stuff she insisted on wasn't even life or death important whatsoever I had good reasons not to do what she was saying. She stopped. Tell her you are done discussing it. I don't know if it is normal but it is obnoxious and I won't tolerate this. I feel for you.

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[laxer12]

I can imagine that would be really frustrating and difficult to deal with. My T is extremely patient with me but also knows how to nudge me enough without being pushy. She always tells me to try something as long as I'm ready. She also explains why she thinks it would be beneficial or important for me to do it.

Does your T explain to you why she thinks you should do things? My T will tell me and then I'll try to talk my way out of it for awhile until I run out of reasons why not to do it. That's when I get to the point where I believe it will actually help me, even though it may be difficult.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T is a little pushy. She wants me to go out to major events more often (fairs, sports games, concerts, etc.) It can be extremely overwhelming for me to be around so many people. But I simply told her no. I told her if an event comes up and I want to go, then I'll push myself to go. Otherwise, I'm not going to plan for it.

She also pushed me to start conversations with other people. We compromised: my homework is to ask strangers (i.e. cashier at the grocery store) how they are doing. She also wants me to stop looking at the ground when I see people. That's too scary atm

My first counsellor was very pushy and I simply didn't speak to her I didn't like her either and I was only going cause my parents made me she was horrible anyway the psychologist I am seeing now was pushy for a while I just sat there and didn't say anything for ages and then we ended up having a fight but it is ok now and he doesn't push me anymore when someone pushes me I tend to be 100 times less likely to do what they want me to and I tend to get mad at them and I think he has worked that out now.

I would just tell her to stop and that she is being annoying.

[stopdog]

It would not be normal for me. I would be unwilling to pay for such a thing.

[Coco3]

Sometimes a little push can be just what you need, but I wouldn't be comfortable with continuously pushing. I don't know if it's normal, I've only had one T. He wasn't pushy. Even if I needed a push, he brought it up as a suggestion. "Hey Coco, why don't you try it this way?" or something like that. If I didn't like the idea, we'd talk about it to discover why I didn't like it. Sometimes talking about it helped me get more comfortable with the suggestion and eventually trying it. Sometimes it lead to another idea that suited me better.

I had a councillor in treatment that was like that. That kind of pushiness may work for some, I mean joining the Armed forces works for some. But it didn't work for me. And I let him know.

[Giucy]

My ex-T was very pushy. When I told her about my concerns, she dismissed them because the potential risks I exposed never materialized with her patients.

Sure enough, they materialized with me ! I had major flashbacks I didn't have in years.
She was dumbfounded, but she couldn't stop being pushy. She then pushed me to ask an AD to my pdoc. Nope.

Needless to say, I left her. No need for an AD, thank you very much !

If being pushy can work with some patients, it can make much more harm than good for other patients.

[PinkFlamingo99]

My new one is pushy, but I like it right now. I need it to be able to take care of myself sadly.

[tinyrabbit]

What kind of T are you seeing? some models allow this, some don't...

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

What kind of T are you seeing? some models allow this, some don't...

I'm not quite sure, to be honest. It doesn't feel like CBT, which is what most therapy is in my country. Although we do some CBT-ish things. So honestly, I don't know.

It just bothers me that I say "No" and that she doesn't listen to me.

[nicoleflynn]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

It just bothers me that I say "No" and that she doesn't listen to me.

You have hired her to help you. She is YOUR employee; if she doesn't listen to you, she isn't doing her job.

[Coco3]

She has to listen to why you're saying no and then talk to you about it. A T that doesn't listen shouldn't be a T.