[FranzJosef]

Do you sometimes feel that your sessions were wasted? How often?

Some Ts argue that no session is ever wasted. Do you believe that or is it just a myth Ts tell themselves so they don't have to give refunds?

How many wasted session do you put up with before you stop going?

[musinglizzy]

I just said that to my T today. It was our last session before a break, and I found it hard to talk about anything. She says (and thinking of it that way, I kind of agree) that sessions aren't wasted....just my showing up and us sitting together is helpful. Progress. When I think about the times I'd rather cancel a session, but I go anyway....yes, I agree. Sometimes just picking myself up and making myself show up is progress. I'm glad she agrees. Because otherwise, today was pretty much a wasted session.

[wotchermuggle]

I just had a "wasted" session, though my T also says nothing is wasted.

[FranzJosef]

Yes, I saw your thread. That's why I started this one.

[AllHeart]

I have been seeing current T almost weekly for about a year. There have been several sessions (6 ish?) where I felt they were wasted. Some of these wasted sessions were due to me being closed up, some due to my T being off, and some due to a mixture of both. It's always frustrating when it happens, but it is what it is. I figure nothing in life goes smoothly every single time. We all have our off days, too. It doesn't happen enough to where it's a concern -- it's not a regular occurrence. If it happened maybe as little as once a month I'd think that would be a serious concern for me and I'd probably look at finding a new T.

[FranzJosef]

What about four wasted sessions in a row?

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by FranzJosef

What about four wasted sessions in a row?

If you feel you had 4 wasted sessions in a row, I'd run like h***, bro! Because your T seems to think there is no such thing as a wasted session, it doesn't look like talking to your T about this is gonna do any good. I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

[velcro003]

With my old T, yes, i feel like there were a lot of wasted sessions, of me sitting in silence a large majority of the time. I didn't improve much over a span of 5 years....

I used ring/text my T about not attending a session because I had nothing to talk about. T persuaded my to come in anyway and discuss why I felt I had nothing to talk about. I felt these woudl be wasted sessions but something always came out of it.

[Sarah1985]

I had a "wasted" session this week. Ugh. It left me feeling worse than before. But now that a couple of days have gone by, I'm seeing a little bit that's come out of it. I could be grasping though, but I think even wasted sessions can be learned from.

[nottrustin]

I have had it a couple of times. I just wasn't in the space to talk anything deep so when T asked her typical question like how are the kids and hubby, how is work (my job can be very triggering and stressful) I would talk about a lot of things like how the kids are doing in school, frustration with work, the mental health system ect. I would even ask T about her children, etc. I would essentially fill my session that way. When I got home I always felt upset that I wasted my time and there were things that I really needed to bring up.

[ThisWayOut]

I find my "wasted sessions" generally revolve around me having my walls up. I am not able to take them down enough to bring up whatever it is I need to address at the time. Sometimes I have several sessions in a row like that (mostly happened in the past when I was crashing hard), but generally it's only a few sessions here or there. they happen most often before I trust a T, or if I am struggling with something hugely shameful.

[scorpiosis37]

I have wasted sessions every now and then. Usually, it is when there's something I'm afraid to talk about and I lose the nerve to bring it up-- or when I'm just depressed and there is nothing either of us can really do to change that.

I've also has therapists in the past that either weren't the right match or were actually harmful, so I consider those sessions wasted. I do not believe that there are no wasted sessions. it reminda me of a saying:

It's not that everything happens for a reason. Things happen and then we find reasons for them.

[LindaLu]

I've come in a few times saying that I wished I'd cancelled because I have got nothing to say. She says that's okay, let's keep things light. And each time I've left saying thanks that was a good session because she weaves in a lesson for me to take home. Even the ones we truly "wasted" with idle chat built up my trust in her so it's for the good. That won't be true of everyone though.

[Sawyerr]

Yes I do. I find it interesting that I feel like that always, when I am angry with her or ignore her. Like I've had my session with myself, like she wasn't there.

[laxer12]

I feel like I've only had one or two "wasted" sessions and I think it was because I was really tired and my mind was working really slow. I didn't really feel like I had anything to say and I could never come up with a response to T unless she asked a question. I like to write down a couple of notes after every session so I can remember what happened and even though I left feeling like it was wasted, I still had things to write down so maybe it wasn't all a waste.

[RedSun]

Maybe during these 'silent' sessions, we are slowly building courage, confidence and trust. So that, in a future session, we are able to open up and talk. So we need this warm up time before we can do that, it's not wasted?

Refunds? Where'd you get the from? LOL
No session is wasted. A lot of the work in analyst is unconscious. It might mean a few sessions of chatting rubbish are needed whilst our inner life's sort themselves.
Thers was a case from a French T where a client spent each session in silence and at the end of a certain period he thanked the T for his help and felt he'd resolved the issue he asked with.
Who knows what or over less need to resolve themselves?
Not every session can be intense.

[Chummy]

With my current T I don't see any session as wasted. Even if I go in not knowing what I need to talk about, my T ask question and there will come something up. I know there's always something that I can talk about, but sometimes I just feel empty, tired and feel like there's just nothing going on.

But when I think back to sessions with previous T's, I think there's a lot of wasted time. Those T's just didn't seem to know how to talk to a person with social anxiety, even though it was said that they also treat anxiety disorders there. So there was a lot of silence in those sessions, and not usefull silence. I didn't get anything good out of those sessions.

[divine1966]

I had some sessions that were probably wasted because all of a sudden we were discussing TV shows or movies ( once it started with talking about my lack of sleep and t was asking about my evening routines and then it just went into our entertainment tastes lol )I mean these were fun discussions but didn't pertain to my therapy.

There have been times we were just talking about arts or travels or what not. Not therapy. But it doesn't happen much as o see her infrequently and time is precious. Oh well.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

I think time gets wasted because those guys don't do anything. If they were clearer on what was supposed to happen, then I think less time would get wasted.

[Coco3]

I've had them every once in awhile. Mostly when I just couldn't think clear, because I was tired or very emotional. I didn't bring things up, I could only talk when T asked questions - and my answers would hardly be more than a yes or a no. I imagine those sessions were hard work for my therapist, lol.

[Chummy]

Originally Posted by Coco3

I've had them every once in awhile. Mostly when I just couldn't think clear, because I was tired or very emotional. I didn't bring things up, I could only talk when T asked questions - and my answers would hardly be more than a yes or a no. I imagine those sessions were hard work for my therapist, lol.

I have that with my pdoc. Though I don't think there are wasted, since his main part is to prescribe me medication.
But every time I'm so quiet, shy, anxious. I hardly answer any of his questions. It's must be so hard fo him. He has almost no idea what's going on with me.

[MusicLover79]

I feel like I've had plenty of wasted sessions especially if it's cause I can't talk to my therapist cause I'm mad at her. I just ask if I can see her again that week or twice the next week to make up for the wasted session

Originally Posted by MusicLover79

I feel like I've had plenty of wasted sessions especially if it's cause I can't talk to my therapist cause I'm mad at her. I just ask if I can see her again that week or twice the next week to make up for the wasted session

Being mad isn't a wasted session. It's feeling your feelings in a safe environment. Sitting with anger is a good session. If it's not talked about with a skilled T. That would be a waste.