Couch 97: Prime Pyramids

Nope, I won't forget she's human anytime soon.

I paid for a second session with a warning we needed to do better, I'm not able to justify more T spending, but gave us a break today because I really had a terrible week last week between the prednisone and hospitalization. It went much better and we ended reading each other the first half chapter. (SUCH a story, I aspire to such originality, someday.... ) I'm feeling better, not great but so much better, and think the prednisone is finally mostly out of my system. I haven't had such a frightening experience in probably 20 years as far as the emotional anguish and exacerbation of symptoms.

For her part, she admitted to being at a loss and imperfect and we split the difference in time and money, each giving some, 3 hours for price of 2.

I think there needs to be a sorting hat for therapists so that we don't have so many Hufflepuffs ending up in Slytherin.

I just got off the phone with my mother. She sounds excellent.

So, yesterday afternoon she was starting to cook supper and the first thing she noticed was that sort of numb feeling in her lips she gets when she's having an allergic reaction to something. She was headed to go get some benadryl when she realized that her fingers and leg were feeling tingly, kind of like when your leg or arm falls asleep and it starts getting back sensation. She told Dad she thought she might be having a stroke, and he took her right in to the ER. She's a very healthy woman, so they recommended TPA and only rated her a 1 on the stroke scale which is extremely low.

This morning her leg feels normal though she hasn't tried to walk yet. Her fingers are still tingly and her face feels like she's had a shot of novocaine, but they hope that will all resolve soon. They'll be doing a dopplar and another CT scan to check for any blockages, but hopefully they'll be sending her home tomorrow or the next day.

The lesson in this is don't ignore those kinds of symptoms. Early action can make a huge difference in outcome.

Feeling very relieved.

I'm glad you're feeling better, sounds like the prednisone really did a number on you, I hope it at least did what it was supposed to do too!! And good that your t was able to admit her being at a loss and you didn't have to pay for the full amount of time.

I haven't found my copy of the book yet, I know I have it (the whole set) here somewhere, if I don't find it soon I'm going to the library lol! Wishing I could tesser to work so I wouldn't have to get up so early... yawn.... ha ha, if I could do that, I'd go all over the world on the weekends...

So glad to hear your mom is doing better!

Yesterday I practiced surrounding myself with reiki energy as kind of a shield to protect me from angry callers. I didn't get any angry callers. Even if it was just a coincidence, will do it again today!!! Heading to work, have a good day couchies!!

EEK. I just called a new T for an appt (if he is accepting new patients), which totally freaks me out. Well, I saw him once about 3 years ago, but I never went back. Instead I took on the other option as my T2...but now I need to replace my T1, because I think he has helped me as much as he can.
I hope this guy doesn't remember me not being able to find his office and waving my car down while we were on the phone. He was really nice about it, but I felt like an idiot.
Also not sure I can find his office again.

Chris, so glad to hear that your mother is doing better this morning!

If one really is an imposter, surely one does not have imposter syndrome? It sounds like that would be a contradiction. Right?

I think it might depend upon whether one was impostering on everything or not. And whether one meant to imposter or not. And even perhaps why one was impostering and why one thought it was impostering rather than true.

See, that could be a humorous conversation-starter in my book . . . Gotta be able to laugh at ourselves.

I would go and find the office a few times prior to the appointment.

I do that all the time so I won't have that stress the day of finding whatever new place it is.

My therapist jumps to conclusions. Filing that under useful facts to keep me from getting overexcited when she misjudges something. Her stuff vs. my stuff. A flaw. So that maybe next time, instead of spending half an hour upset that she doesn't understand me, I can say to her, "actually, there's a lot more to it than you realize, but that's not what I really want to focus on anyway, so don't worry about it."

Well, folks, wish me luck with that. I hate having alarm bells that get set off by these things, ha. Ugh.

(Quietly envies people who are organized enough and find the time to be prepared.)

All true. I have only heard the term used about people who feel that they are not sufficiently competent for their jobs, when in reality they are.

I try to do things in ways that cause me less stress rather than more. I think it is just choice. I am not that bothered by stuff on my counters or dust for example - so I don't spend much time on that sort of thing. Not finding an office would make me feel incompetent. I greatly dislike being incompetent so I would arrange not to be. That is all.

I fear I must be trying to do to much to not feel incompetent at any of it. But am working on simplifying.

I know the area very well, so I didn't think the office would have been that hard to find the first time around...but the numbers on the offices were not clearly visible. I will go find it ahead of time this time around if he is able to see me, however.

I did laugh, actually...and it WAS funny at the time. AND I also felt like an idiot because it seemed to be more difficult to find a guy standing there waving his arms at me than it should have been!

It's just a survival skill I learned ages ago for myself. I just make the time because I know the alternative is getting stressed out later. It's that whole proactive thing that keeps me sane.

I can't make the time.... working 2 jobs, 65 hours a week, full time care of my daughter during summer vacation, and other commitments. But am hoping to be able to cut back soon.

I think the difference is that I'm thinking about my own exposure to new places- one of my jobs requires being in new locations every week, and my daughter's care and other factors also mean new locations every week or two, so I don't have time to continually preview all these places.

But yes, for a one-time appointment, I can see the practicality.

We all have different priorities. I do it regardless of other things if screwing it up is going to make me anxious. I also work more than one job and so on. For me it makes me less anxious so I rearrange other things or go late at night or early in the morning, pay others to do some things I normally do myself, etc. Others make different choices based on their needs and situation. I prefer thinking of these things as choices. (I don't usually have anxiety over finding places so this is just as an example for me. I have other things where I am taking care of a very sick person, working two jobs, new pup, etc and so I do have some choices to make about where eenergy goes. I try to choose to do things the way that I know will cause me the least stress.). My point is more about choice rather than me feeling like I am not making certain choices based on my sense of priority.

Yesterday's session was all 'rupturey' feeling.... headed to my session today and I'm so uncontrollably nervous. I want it to be okay but I feel I'm walking into it only getting worse.

The best thing I ever did with the first one was to make her not talk.