Therapist Thinks I'm Lying But I'm Not-How To Handle?

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sidestepper

If you have just started I'd be wary of her putting labels on so quickly. Just to be sure you are on the same wave length I'd ask her about that and if she is just giving herself a note to watch how it develops or if she's already decided. if she finds it so hard to relate perhaps then you might talk to her about continuing this relationship.

Thanks Sidestepper, that is an excellent point and I have wondered if that is the situation. Reading a person's notes is a different thing than reading what they might then draft from such notes.

I think I freaked out too because that happened to push a big emotional button in me. One of the issues I've had in the past was people denying my parents' abuses on the very rare occasions I sought help. Responses I got ran along the lines of "no mother would do something like that to her children" etc. So not being believed about factual events of my life is an extra-disconcerting issue for me.

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

One thing to do is just to say you read your medical records, saw that she had noted "magical thinking," and want her to explain more what she meant by that.

And surely you're right, that's the best approach. Initially I thought I shouldn't even read the records, but then I thought well maybe it makes sense at the start to get an idea of what we're looking at.

I also was hesitant to sort of invade her working privacy in that way. It's a tool she uses as part of her job and from a certain perspective, I can see she'd have a right to keep that private, so I have had mixed feelings about looking at them. For example, how would I feel if someone looked at my private notes about something?

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I agree. Time for some communication with the therapist to see exactly what was meant by those statements. Could be misinterpreting the notes.

Your advice is sensible. I guess this is the part where therapy starts to feel awkward.

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perna

I would look for a therapist that has had a broader background or has lived in the area you did. I had a similar sort of upbringing but my therapist did too so did not have as much trouble understanding me.

Yes, I'm living across the country in a sort of backwater now (and I like it!) and I have run into some culture shock on many points, which surprised me. I figured by now the U.S. was much more homogenized than it is.

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

People who don't have similar experiences as you might think you make stuff up. The trick I think is to find t with somewhat similar experience, my t also immigrated to the U.S. And also saw and did similar things as me. So we discuss things others wouldn't have a clue about. My family had some experiences that would fit to be in a novel

. I won't share on here but it is rather unusual. What I have learned over the years is that I do not share with people who might think it's made up.

Why does your t even need to know about airplanes or astronauts . Unless it's relevant to your therapy

But if it is important do look for t who can relate

I also agree with others that magical thinking isn't necessarily a lie. I'd ask what she meant

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I hear you. There are tons of immigrants in Southern California from all over the world, and I have heard many astonishing stories.

And I agree the particular points aren't so relevant, but more I feel that, if she is going to help me, she needs to understand basically the factual info about me. Otherwise she may end up misdirected onto something by mistake etc.

And I agree and don't deny that I engage in magical thinking (if I understand it correctly). So essentially it's less an argument of being accused of magical thinking, and more that I need her to get the concept of who I am as a person, my background etc., which I would think matters in trying to then provide me with therapy. But I'm sure it's just so early into things and I need to learn how to manage my side of this endeavor?

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

magical thinking doesn't really mean that you are making things up. i have magical thinking pretty bad. it's basically what LonesomeTonight posted. maybe you are confusing this term with delusions of grandeur, which sounds more like what you described given your status

I think I see what you mean. The notes listed a few things from my past true experiences and relationships specifically as "magical thinking".

But as these are just her notes, not a finalized paper or anything like that, it could be very rough stuff she was quickly noting down.

She actually made a fair number of other errors in the notes, which I just attributed to her making simple mistakes trying to write things down in a hurry. The notes actually are about 1/4 incorrect on the actual factual stuff I told her.

Goldwave · Jul 24, 2015, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I have magical thinking at times too but I don't make stuff up

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Yes I understand and this is my perception of it as well.

iheartjacques · Jul 25, 2015, 05:45 AM

Wow, something I learnt today - magical thinking!

growlycat · Jul 25, 2015, 08:18 AM

Others here make a great point -- "magical thinking" does not equal lying.

"Magical thinking is a clinical term used to describe a wide variety of nonscientific and sometimes irrational beliefs. These beliefs are generally centered on correlations between events…"

Magical Thinking - Definition in Phobias

Jul 25, 2015, 08:25 AM

I'm curious. How was it that you came to read these notes? You kind of make it sound like you looked at them without her knowing you did.

boredporcupine · Jul 25, 2015, 09:07 AM

Other people have been really helpful, but can I just put a plug in here for not reading your own therapy notes? They are really intended for the T and/or insurance providers, not for you, and they usually contain a lot of jargon which could easily lead to misunderstandings. If you want to know something about how your T understands you, it's better to just ask and then they can put their thoughts into language a normal person can decipher!

LonesomeTonight · Jul 25, 2015, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boredporcupine

Other people have been really helpful, but can I just put a plug in here for not reading your own therapy notes? They are really intended for the T and/or insurance providers, not for you, and they usually contain a lot of jargon which could easily lead to misunderstandings. If you want to know something about how your T understands you, it's better to just ask and then they can put their thoughts into language a normal person can decipher!

Yeah, I don't think I'd want to read my own therapy notes!

The other thing is, she might not take notes in a particularly organized way, so the "magical thinking" part might not be related to what she wrote it next to. Like when I would take notes for class, for example, I would sometimes write a thought I had on the page that might not be related to what I was taking notes on at that moment (part of why I never let people borrow my notes--they wouldn't make sense!)

This makes me think of an episode of Monk, where his T left his notepad sitting there when he left the room, and Monk saw he'd written the word "Hopeless." So Monk got all depressed, thinking the T thought he was a hopeless case. But when he finally asked the T about it, it wasn't what T meant at all (I forget what it meant).

Jul 25, 2015, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boredporcupine

Other people have been really helpful, but can I just put a plug in here for not reading your own therapy notes? They are really intended for the T and/or insurance providers, not for you, and they usually contain a lot of jargon which could easily lead to misunderstandings. If you want to know something about how your T understands you, it's better to just ask and then they can put their thoughts into language a normal person can decipher!

I agree. I have seen portions of my therapy notes, but ALWAYS they were gone over WITH the therapist right there to explain the context of what I was reading. Without that contextual factor, the potential for misunderstanding and misinterpretation is pretty high. Because they are notes, therapists get into their own sort of shorthand for what they are noting. They understand why they wrote them the way they did. You have to understand that those notes are often written after the session and are a quick summary/reference rather than a detailed account of sessions. They aren't scripted word-for-word, so the person who actually takes the notes will need to be there to explain their notes.

divine1966 · Jul 25, 2015, 01:56 PM

I don't know how one can see the notes unless one asks? I don't know where t even keeps them?

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Perna · Jul 25, 2015, 02:20 PM

A really good article on "magical thinking" and how we are all prone to it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/arti...gical-thinking

It does remind me of some of what you said about how you were surrounded and interacted with others in California, Goldwave. I would certainly take whatever notes you were reading to your next therapy session and discuss them with your therapist.

wotchermuggle · Jul 25, 2015, 10:25 PM

Well, I learned something new. I'd never come across the concept of "magical thinking". Thanks for the thread.

Jul 26, 2015, 11:44 AM

Find a new therapist. A therapist shouldn't even have the thought that a client is lying.

divine1966 · Jul 26, 2015, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psychmajor18

Find a new therapist. A therapist shouldn't even have the thought that a client is lying.

Therapist never said she is lying. So we don't know what she thinks.

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XenaStrikes · Jul 28, 2015, 06:48 AM

It all sounds good to me the NASA stuff. I don't really see it all as "magical thinking" unless your T thinks you are delusional.
In my opinion I would put my cards right on that table and tell you T exactly what you think.
If you are not happy with this therapist....get another

Wishing you the best of health and good luck.

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