Working class me v middle class T.

This isn't about whether T can help only if they've experienced what you have. But of late I've been coming up against T's life experience and mine.
I grew up in Kings Cross. A real poor area of London. Our home had no indoor toilet. Victorian Poverty still exists in 1960's London.
T had a middle class upbringing. She lives in a middle class area of London.
There's a house across the road from T that is having a loft built into it. T isn't happy about this. Previously she had told me how this b neighbour had isolated him self from the 'community' and he wasn't a 'good neighbour'.
Today T had said how ugly it looked the loft extention. I said, does it??? T said, we'll, it doesn't fit in with the rest of the area.
I shrugged. Then T said how many of the other neighbors had told this guy how 'ugly' it looked a,d T said how she couldn't wait to bump into this neighbour and comisterate with him.
I said,??? T said, we'll everyone's been registering their disapproval at his extention so I was going to say, sorry it didn't turn out how you hoped.
On one hand I was surprised at this side of T. On the other hand I'm glad she was exhibiting this less than 'god' self.
I then said, I didn't see it as ugly. I've lived in some rough places where dirty nappies and syringes lie under my 10th floor drug invested social housing flat. So his loft conversion isn't a problem as I see it. And I said I doubt what you and the community think of it doesn't even bother him.
I then said "I'm being argumentive aren't I"
T said, yes. But that's OK.
It did make me more aware of our differences. Not that she can't help me. But this is a feeling I've been having of late. I think it this into the struggle I've had recently. Where I try to think like T would, but then I have to remember my life experience isn't hers. And I have to at the end of the day, find my own answers, using T to box it out with in the process.

There's a culture to poverty. Once one is impoverished it changes the way they behave and act. For example, a healthy diet is a middle class thing. When you are of the working poor or worse a meal has to be Hamburger Helper. Do you think the conversation effected how you work with your T? If so, have you talked to her?
Often I wondered if my therapist understood my behaviors in the context of poverty. She went to a private catholic school and went to college in the days before financial aid. For most of my life (because of 50% neglect and 50% poverty) I had to go without.

No I don't feel it has effected the relationship. I trust T enough and know her skill are there regardless.
I think perhaps this is a good thing. I can see our differences but still trust in her.

This reminds me of how I feel sometimes as an expat with an American T... T is pretty good about it - being 1st generation he understands better than most.

These moments of seeing the 'real' person under the professional guise can be disillusioning but it sounds like you have a handle on it. I think, once you get past the moment, it's good to accept that our Ts can still do good work even though they may not be at all like us.

On the other hand, it does sound like your T was being pretty judgement about something related to class and it touched something in you about how they might perceive your own story?

Perhaps it worth discussing that with her?

Yes that's probably part of it too.
I think it's also about me becoming me. Not afraid to challenge T. Not only trusting in T's views BECAUSE of her 'privilege'. But knowing my truth matters too.

My first reaction when I read this was that I'd be annoyed if my therapist was spending my therapy time talking about her neighbors and her opinion of their housing renovations. I'd probably change the subject to something therapy-related.

If your therapist constantly makes references that don't pertain to your life-experiences, maybe you could make a list of facts about your life vs her life that might help her to relate to you better. I think a good therapist would be happy to learn these things, because not only would it help her to relate to you better, but it would probably help her with some of her other clients as well.

The last time I went to my primary care doctor for a blood pressure check, I saw a PA (physician's assistant) who, right after I mentioned that I had been approved for Soc. Sec. disability recently, suggested that I should buy an exercise bike to help me lose weight.

I wanted to say "you must be f-ing joking" because I had just finished telling her about the disability and the kind it was, which is the kind that puts people WAY below the "official poverty line". I guess she just wasn't thinking. I probably should make a "list" for HER.

No, it's not about talking about her life in my therapy. We've worked together 11yrs and is never been like that. This a recent thing. Perhaps happening in the room between us because I NEED it to so I can separate from her. So her talking like that in my session isn't the issue at all.
This is about my newly found ability to not believe T is 'god'.
It's all good.

I guess I would say that situations like this must arise all the time between therapist and client: not just income discrepancies, but disabled/not disabled, male/female, even young/old. But I think you're right that it doesn't necessarily vitiate the quality of the therapy; it just may make communication and the willingness to engage in it harder.

Oh. Never mind then. I totally misunderstood you.

Not a problem. It's hard on this medium to fully express the angle.