Did you want a male or female T specifically?

RedSun · Aug 11, 2015, 02:10 PM

Just curious, - and I fancied doing a poll

Did you want a certain gender for your T? Feel free to state why too!

TheWell · Aug 11, 2015, 02:17 PM

I'm female and I specifically asked for a male T. I have a lot of issues with my mom. :X

atisketatasket · Aug 11, 2015, 02:18 PM

Yes, I did. I'm not sure why since I don't have that hangup with other professionals (e.g., I have a male gynecologist). But a male therapist just didn't feel right.

Chummy · Aug 11, 2015, 02:25 PM

I have a female T, but I didn't specially ask for a female T. I don't know if I would want a male or female T. I've had lots of female T's and it didn't worked out with any of them, besides my current T. I think for me it's more about the kind of person the T is and not if T is male or female.

Daystrom · Aug 11, 2015, 02:32 PM

I saw male therapists when I was younger and was never really comfortable with them. I always felt there was something off about them, and as a guy I have a hard time opening up to other men. When I needed to find a new one recently I searched only for female Ts, found a good one, and now therapy is much more productive for me than it ever was in the past. Of course, now I have erotic transference to deal with....

Aug 11, 2015, 02:39 PM

I guess I don't really care. I used to think I could only work with a male. I had two male therapists, one horrible and one decent and now I have a female. She is much easier to talk to for some reason. I am not sure gender really matters much to me at this point. I have to drive over an hour just to find a therapist at all so I don't care that much.

After having worked with both genders I find it weird that I used to think it mattered.

mandehble · Aug 11, 2015, 02:40 PM

I would like my next T to be a male of the species. I have issues with men and while I believe it would be challenging, having a corrective emotional experience in the form of a good relationship with a male T could prove to be highly rewarding and reparative for me. It would also just be nice to have a relationship with a man where dating/sex is strictly forbidden and (in theory) I don't have to worry about transgressions. I've also had nothing but female Ts in the past and they've pretty much all been negative experiences.

Cinnamon_Stick · Aug 11, 2015, 03:03 PM

My first T was a male and I absolutely loved him....untill he ended our sessions during a session. I never got closure or a real goodbye. The T that I have now is a female and she is the best T ever. I love her and she has the best personalty. I think it depends on the person and not gender. I don't trust men anymore other than my husband so I would never have a male T again.

AllHeart · Aug 11, 2015, 03:24 PM

This time 'round, I specifically wanted a female T. Because of my mother, I have no idea how to relate to women, older women more specifically. I am also female.

Leah123 · Aug 11, 2015, 03:48 PM

I think there are at least gender specific... tendencies, call them mainly conditioning perhaps (though I wouldn't say it's true entirely, the ability of most women to give birth for example is a huge distinction that brings with it certain things), but I do think people perceive gender differences to often be influential, I know that informed my choice of therapist.

ScarletPimpernel · Aug 11, 2015, 03:55 PM

I'm female and I prefer female Ts. I have suffered from maternal transference with many Ts in the past, and most I have struggled with too strong of an attachment. But I consider getting emotionally close to men to dangerous. I sexualize feelings of care and kindness with men, and it really messes me uo. That and I have a general fear of men. I have 5 men in my life (my fiance, step-dad, 2 nephews, and my brother-in-law) and that's enough.

Petra5ed · Aug 11, 2015, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Yes, I did. I'm not sure why since I don't have that hangup with other professionals (e.g., I have a male gynecologist). But a male therapist just didn't feel right.

LOL, I used to have a male gyno too. It was quite a turn on. When I started seeing a female gyno I realized my paps got significantly shorter and less involved.

I wanted a male therapist. I prefer men. Mom issues. But after working with a guy for a while, and being turned on by him as well... wondering if maybe I wouldn't try a woman next time.

Petra5ed · Aug 11, 2015, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

My first T was a male and I absolutely loved him....untill he ended our sessions during a session. I never got closure or a real goodbye. The T that I have now is a female and she is the best T ever. I love her and she has the best personalty. I think it depends on the person and not gender. I don't trust men anymore other than my husband so I would never have a male T again.

Ended your sessions, during a session?!!? WTF. That sounds traumatic.

velcro003 · Aug 11, 2015, 05:47 PM

I'm a female, and only look for female T's and same with my GP. I have issues around sexuality/sex that I can't imagine talking about with a male.

ameliaxxx · Aug 11, 2015, 06:42 PM

I'm a female and I definitely wanted a female T. I was more willing to open up and even respect them if they were female.. I don't know why but I have no strong or meaningful relationships with any men in my life or ever wanted to. Not even my dad. But I also have "mommy issues" and I am constantly seeking a mother figure. So am I VERY attached to my T, who I have been seeing for 5 years this October! She is like a mom to me and treats me like so. She is still very professional though. Never did or does anything I would consider unethical by any means. I question if she has counter transference though.

But that's why I choose a female T. I feel more comfortable talking to a female and I seek the attention of an older woman. Not to say the transference hasn't been painful at times.. But I enjoy my T and I'm getting better so it works for me.

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Cinnamon_Stick · Aug 11, 2015, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

Ended your sessions, during a session?!!? WTF. That sounds traumatic.

It was very traumatic. I was very attached to him and he helped me so much. I came into a session one day and he said that it was the last session. I got upset and couldn't talk and basically walked out.

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stopdog · Aug 11, 2015, 07:40 PM

I only see females.

divine1966 · Aug 11, 2015, 08:04 PM

I only want women therapists but prefer men as doctors. Always had gyno males etc I had bad experiences with female doctors but t I only want a woman

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indigo11 · Aug 11, 2015, 08:29 PM

Im a female and specifically wanted a male therapist. Have had my share of females and too many conflicts and not able to trust. Also, didnt like periods synchronization

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JustShakey · Aug 11, 2015, 09:13 PM

I have (had?) a hard time connecting with female Ts. One that I just made absolutely no connection with at all - to the point I had a hard time staying awake in session, and the second who probably pushed me a bit to hard to connect... Transference from hell...
Now though, I think I would like work with a female T for a bit. I've come a long way with T. I think I could do it now, and learn a lot... I don't see myself having another T though. I don't plan on leaving my T til I'm done with therapy completely.

aetheorist · Aug 11, 2015, 09:25 PM

I'm male and I prefer to see female therapists. As a therapist I find female clients easier to work with.

Aug 12, 2015, 08:01 AM

I wouldn't have considered a female T when I first started therapy. I didn't have a straightforward relationship with my mum and historically I don't relate well to women generally.
But I have come a long way since then and I would like at some point to try a female T (and perhaps a younger T) because I am training to become a therapist myself and I feel it would be beneficial for me to experience a therapeutic relationship with a woman. That's not going to be for a while though because I want to get through the bulk of my work with current T as I trust him to help me through some difficult material.

Aug 12, 2015, 08:09 AM

I wanted a female t because I just had this feeling I wouldn't be able to open up to a male t. I don't know exactly why that is, I had a male pdoc, and never had a problem telling him things. Of course I saw him for only 15 minutes at a time what 4 times a year?