I addressed this briefly on a different topic, but my mind tends to dwell on things and since I don't have opportunity to discuss this issue with my therapist until we schedule a return session, I guess I needed to write it out here.

When I first started therapy about 3 years ago with this therapist, she didn't have a dog with her. And didn't have one for about a year or so...but then the dog began to show up and has pretty much been in 90% of the sessions.

Mind you, most of the time it lays there and sleeps. I do not hate dogs, or this dog in general. This dog in general is very sweet and loving (an English Springer Spaniel). Occasionally, it needs to be paid attention to and rubs up against my therapist or moves to the door like it needs to go out and sometimes gets restless and whines. Or sometimes, if me and my therapist move to do some exercise, the dog will get up like it thinks we are leaving. The dog is very innocent and I'm 100% sure it has no bad intentions and just needs love. The dog is like a baby in that way.

But, in another way, the dog is like a newborn baby invading my space. As I said, when I started with this therapist 3 years ago she didn't bring her dog. But then it has been there pretty much regularly about a year or so later. By that time I had invested so much in my therapy with this therapist and it took so long to find a therapist that I connect with that I didn't really think too much of it. But recently via phone I requested that, for my first session back after a break, I would like the dog not to be there. My therapist said that "might be difficult to do". My immediate internal response was dissappointment, but externally I pulled back and said "Oh, well these are just requests" and overall concealed my disappointment as much as I could.

But part of me has been thinking in the past few days, if this dog was in session from day one, I doubt I would have stayed with my therapist at all. It feels like a "Bait-and-Switch". And even moreso, it feels like life growing up. I was the baby and was taken care of by momma, until the newborn child came and attention was taken away from me. The dog is the newborn child taking my "momma" from me. Also it feels like my therapist is bringing her personal life (in the form of her dog) into my session.

Here are some things that, however, make it hard for me to deny her the dog. She divorced, about the same time she starting bringing her dog into session, and sometimes she works late and the dog is a protection for her. And other patients might actually be benefting therapeutically from this dog being present. Maybe I am too, in the fact it is making me think of how it felt growing up to have my parents forget about me to take care of my younger siblings (at the same time they sent me off to school, a double-whammy of abandonment.)

I have brought this up in a low-grade way before. And she assured me that it is "just a dog" in the vain that she wouldn't choose the dog over me. She could put the dog in her car during session, I suppose. But during the heat of summer, I wouldn't want the dog to have to suffer in the car. Plus, putting the dog in the crate during session feels bad. I have traumatic experiences with being enclosed in dark small places growing up and thinking of the dog whining and uncomfortable in such a place is enough to trigger my own traumatic experience with being enclosed in such places. And then, if other clients are benefiting from the dog in a truly therapeutic way, I don't want to deny the other clients.

It feels like I want to ask her to choose between her dog and me. And it feels like, in some ways, she has chosen herself and her dog over me. If she chooses to not bring the dog, because I ask her not to, she might feel some resentment for me that may carry over into session...even if she doesn't say she is resenting me it may be there subconsciously.

And if she choose the dog over me, then well....you know...a dog was choosen over me. That's not great for self-esteem.

It feels like a "lose-lose" situation. I have invested 3 years with this therapist and I really do like her and oftentimes feel like I'm in love with her. It took forever to find a therapist I connect with and to find another, just because of this dog, seems awful. I haven't had opportunity to talk about this issue with my therapist, because we haven't had opportunity to schedule a return session yet (basically because I'm still waiting for some answers from a questionarre I gave her to return).

Perhaps by just bringing it up to her, it will cause me some relief. But in the end, it seems like I may have to put up with the dog, if I want to see this therapist.

[sidony]

Well I gave you my thoughts on this already, but I'll go ahead and tack it onto this new thread:

I do not think a good therapist would put her needs over yours. One of my friends IRL is a psychologist who takes her dog with her to sessions. For the clients who don't like the dog (she has only a couple of those), she simply shuts him into another room in his crate and they never see him at all. If your own therapist doesn't have that alternative, then she should leave her dog at home or kennel him on days when she has clients who are uncomfortable with a dog present. For myself, I would never want a dog present during therapy (nothing against dogs, but I wouldn't want a distraction). However, some people (particularly my friend's child clients) do like her dog and are more comfortable with him present.

Having thought about this since your original post, I'm pretty sure I could never go to a therapist who brought a dog in. Because I would have to ask him to leave the dog out when I'm there, and I'd be afraid I was making him feel bad by doing so. So the whole situation just wouldn't work.

My friend IRL mentioned that her dog mostly just looks at her or lays on his back and lets her clients pet him during the session. But even the fact that she notices that much would be too much attention on the dog in my opinion! I want therapy to be focused completely on me!

Sidony

[SecretGarden]

My first pdoc brought a dog in... and I think is was a English Springer Spaniel ...or something similar. I remember that sometimes his dog would go across the hall while he had certain patients and one would not come back. I remember that I spent time with my bare feet rubbing the Elijah while he slept but ....... I will never ever forget when I was at an emotional time at a vulnerable time of my therapy when I needed to emote a gutteral emotion and the dog got up to comfort me. My T was so proud of the dog.

I needed to emote.... and that I will always remember. The disappointment.... I suppose folks here would say...the disconnect.

Current pdoc said that having the dog was a no no in the psych world. I do not think at this juncture I would want one or have one in the same room. It is a barrier between the patient and the therapist.

I think perhaps maybe I will be better just talking about it with her....just to let her know it has triggered things.

but i'm still not sure I would be comfortable with the dog remaining. i am selfish...i don't want to share my therapist with her dog.

i don't much like sharing her with other clients. but i know she wouldn't survive on just one client. unless of course I was independantly wealthy and offered to pay her a salary to be only my therapist....but i'm not independantly wealthy...and i don't think she'd abandon her other clients.

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Ipse_Dixit said:

The dog is the newborn child taking my "momma" from me. Also it feels like my therapist is bringing her personal life (in the form of her dog) into my session.

Maybe I am too, in the fact it is making me think of how it felt growing up to have my parents forget about me to take care of my younger siblings (at the same time they sent me off to school, a double-whammy of abandonment.)

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This is so insightful of you, Ipse. How fascinating the transference that we can engage it. But you know what? You are aware. And that's a big accomplishment. You pulled it out of unconscious, and now you are aware. Is it possible that if the dog stays in sessions, you can use this to your benefit? To discuss your awareness, and to work through the transference of your 'momma' being taken away? You see, if the dog goes away, that won't remove the problem.... because it's already there; you are already aware of it. Perhaps this is a chance for you to work through something really important.

Hi Ipse_Dixit,
(((((((((((((((Ipse_Dixit))))))))))))))))

[PetulantWolf]

Whatever happens, I would try not look at it as a contest between you and Lassie...Im sure your T doesnt see it as chosing one over the other...I think when she said its "just a dog", thats really how she sees it. Also, she may think its good for you to work through this rather than avoid it by her not bringing the dog in. So please dont let it effect your self esteem.. youre too cool.

[PetulantWolf]

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Ipse_Dixit said:
I think perhaps maybe I will be better just talking about it with her....just to let her know it has triggered things.

but i'm still not sure I would be comfortable with the dog remaining. i am selfish...i don't want to share my therapist with her dog.

i don't much like sharing her with other clients. but i know she wouldn't survive on just one client. unless of course I was independantly wealthy and offered to pay her a salary to be only my therapist....but i'm not independantly wealthy...and i don't think she'd abandon her other clients.

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I dont like to share my T either....but I promise youre not sharing her with the dog..it just feels that way...dont let it gett in the way of your therapy, J...i'm glad youre going to discuss it with her..you will conquer this one and feel better..

[sunrise]

This is an interesting article about a dog, Mingo, who serves as a "co-therapist" with his owner, a psychologist. Every client is given the choice of having Mingo in the room during their psychotherapy sessions. Mingo is helpful to clients with a number of different types of problems: phobias, anxiety, depression, and more. Here's an excerpt that reminded me of what you wrote, Ipse Dixit:

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.js...81474976729065
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Fifth, Mingo also becomes a "blank screen" onto which patients project thoughts and feelings of jealousy, deprivation, sibling rivalry and childhood hurts.... Some patients may even express jealousy of Mingo's having my love, thereby beginning to reveal experiences of feeling unloved by parents or believing that parents preferred a brother or sister over them.

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after I started with my therapist, i learned part of her training/work and technique is using dogs in therapy work.

my therapist has suggested the dog could be helpful...but i dunno.

if i am able to continue in therapy as "normal" it may be helpful....but i don't want to put the carriage ahead of the horse. i have to get back into therapy in the first place and rebuild/repair or at least get back into some sort of comfortable place where i get a sense of where we are in the process.

[sidony]

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sunrise said:
This is an interesting article about a dog, Mingo, who serves as a "co-therapist" with his owner, a psychologist. Every client is given the choice of having Mingo in the room during their psychotherapy sessions. Mingo is helpful to clients with a number of different types of problems: phobias, anxiety, depression, and more.

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Neat! I think that's great idea as long as it's the client's choice to have Mingo present. The dog should never be forced on a client who doesn't want him/her. The therapist can and should make her own arrangements to care for her dog if a client doesn't want an animal present...

(Guess you guys know my opinion by now.)

Sid

i just found this thread. i worked a long time ago as a therapist and i took my dog to the hospital with me three days a week. the board approved it and tippy played an integral part of group therapy. the new patients, he would sit by during group. didn't do anything, just sat next to them. if someone wanted to pet him, they had to ask and if he seemed okay with it, they petted him. they posed for pics with him and hung out with him when we were working one on one.

a woman who had not spoken in eight months was new and he was sitting with her and all at once, scared us all to death, she said, "Pat, i think Tippy needs to go outside".......she had been there almost 10 days and had never spoken to anyone.

no one ever complained about him. he was extremely still and quiet and only interacted if he was approached. however, a lot of patients did tell me that they were glad he was there. it made it more "homey" for them.

i wouldn't mind if my T had her dog with her......but i think it is a very individual choice. pat