What Makes a Good Patient?

Can you expand upon "giving more"? What does giving more mean to you? Also, I don't know about others, but what I want out of therapy continually changes and what I NEED from therapy is probably unknowable/not obvious to me because I probably have subconscious issues/factors at play

When I get stuck I talk about being stuck. Don't try to hard to be "good." there is no such thing in therapy.

Giving more means to me the following.
Just me. Only my opinion.

Verbalizing thoughts without editing
Telling the truth
Bearing my soul if I want/need to
Showing childlike or infantile parts of my personality, even if it's very embarrassing
Crying and even sobbing out of control, If I want/need to

I have very deep, and easily accessed emotions. I allowed her to see them all.
And, for me, that was when therapy worked best. For me.

I think there is a difference between using therapy/therapist in a way beneficial to one's own self as a client and the idea of being a "good patient." I have absolutely no desire to be a good anything when it comes to dealing with a therapist.

I'd also like to be close to my T.

When visiting my far away T a few weeks ago, I told her that I missed her. She said she missed me, too. I asked why and she said I was a good patient and listed several reasons. It is one of my best memories with her. Here's what she said:

I want to get better and am engaged in therapy.
I have a unique way of looking at the world.
I am very thankful.
We make each other laugh.

I hope this helps.

Well actually my therapist called me an "ideal patient" based on these features she figured out about me so I'm going to just list them I guess. But honestly therapy is just about being yourself, you can't change that. You need that raw aspect.

Therapist said I am: Mature, on time for appointments, hardworking ( both school wise and doing therapy homework ), conscientious, articulate, and according to what she told my parents, a "sweetheart".

Sometimes I wish I was more strong or sort of better at showing my real emotions to her because I'm not always so nice, I get pretty angry !

Each individual decides what they want for their therapy dollar and time.

Some want a close relationship, where they share their deepest, darkest secrets. Love, lust, murging, confusion, anxiety, all sorts of really intense emotional stuff.

Some want a thing to talk at. Money thrown down on the table. A business transaction.

Some want something in between or something else.

Many don't know until they're into the muddle of it.

You decide what you want to get from therapy and then go get it.

Hard work, no matter what your ultimate goal.

For me, if it were not a business transaction with a stranger, I would never be able to tell the woman the things I do.

I greatly dislike this blogger -but he had a post on how trying to be a good client could be counter productive:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...therapy-client

I used to care what he thought of me. Now I couldn't give two shits. It's about me and my problems.

It doesn't matter if your a "good" patient. Be yourself that is important. Your therapist needs to see the way you really are to treat you. It is unimportant to play therapist's pet.You find yourself not coming up with material. Throughout the week think about what has been a problem for you. Talk about that at session. Think about your obstacles in your daily life and bring those up.

I think that trying to be a "good patient" can actually turn out not only counterproductive in therapy, but sometimes directly destructive. In my mind, it is the equivalent of trying to please people in general in order to generate an artificial sense of acceptance -- parents in childhood, lovers, whatnot... Trying to be loved for what we do purposefully instead of who we truly are. I guess no need to elaborate on how this can spiral into yet another dysfunctional relationship if the therapist is not aware and courageous enough to help us see/break through it.

I think that sometimes it can be beneficial to present such "good patient" image though, if that sort of attitude is something we habitually tend to do in everyday life. Given that at some point the nature of the "image creation" will be revealed. In that case, if the therapist recognizes it and we are open to discussing it, I think it can actually add to the therapeutic potential because we are presenting/dealing with something that is a major repetitive pattern in our life.

A "good" patient is a fake patient. IMO.