T brought me in touch with another client...

Recently my T helped me out. I was looking for some first clients for my new business and my T told me she knew someone who could use my services. So I agreed that we would meet and talk about the job.
I was hoping that this person would be a friend of my T, maybe a family member. But then it turned out to be another client! I really didn't know how to feel about it, but it didn't feel good at all...

I tried not to care too much and did what I had to do, tried to finish the job.
And then things became weird and complicated, to the point where it really started to hurt me a lot. The relationship between this person and me seemed to have been destroyed because this person didn't stick to the agreements and started to ignore me completely.

Now of course I feel like I can't say anything to my T about what's going on. On the other hand, I always tell her what's bothering me. And this whole situation bothers me soooo much lately...

Any advice on how to deal with this issue?

I would be honest and share the truth with my T. This way not only will you feel relieved but you will also be able to discuss the results of your T's initiative and maybe work on establishing a better understanding/boundaries etc..

I guess you're right, but I don't want to say bad things about someone else. Even though I feel like I did all I could and still things went wrong. It just doesn't feel right to explain the story to my T. It's confusing and I almost wish my T wouldn't have helped me... although I felt so extremely thankful when she did and she trusted me with it.

This is really worrisome for me as it is an incredibly unethical action to take. Creating bridges between your clients is not something that should ever happen exactly for the reason of which you are having trouble now. Many times things can go sour in those relationships which then shows up and affects your relationship with your therapist. I would suggest that you let your therapist know that the relationship didn't work out and that you don't feel it is appropriate to give clients "help" in such a way.

I agree with you. I don't think it was a smart thing to do. My T absolutely wanted to do me a favor (and maybe the other person too), but you never know how those things go of course... (And maybe I could have said 'no' too). In this case it didn't really work. although I have the impression this other person doesn't say a word about what happened. So now I feel as if I'm the bad one if I would talk about it. It sucks a lot.

I agree with this. She showed extremely poor judgement here. Maybe she meant well, but it was unethical. I would bring it up with her and tell her it didn't work out and that it was a bad idea in the first place.

You're in Europe, so I don't know what the laws are, but in the US that would be an ethical violation suitable for disciplinary action (eta, because she breached confidentiality). Possibly a violation of the HIPAA, but not sure about that.

But that's not your question. Is this something you need therapy for, or do you just want her to butt out? If you just want her never to do this again, say so. You don't have to go into details. But if between the other client's behavior and your therapist's boundary violation, you might want to think about a new therapist if possible.

I would tell her it didn't work out if you need to talk about the feelings it has brought up for you. Don't feel bad for telling her, she's only responsible for the suggestion. However unwise this was, I would think that it's the other client that is responsible for his/her own behaviour after T introduced you, so your not really blaming T. (Except for her sucky judgement - but you could leave that out)

I honestly don't really care about whether or not it's a violation. I could also have decided not to let my T introduce me to this other person. It was me who agreed and it'll be me who will never do it again though. It's just that I only found out after meeting this person that it was also a client. I had really really hoped it wouldn't be.
But anyway... it was more about how to deal with those feelings now. I don't want to shut up really. I don't want to make my T feel guilty for what happened either. She's not to blame for how the other client behaves of course. So maybe I should trust that I can talk about it, without her taking it personally or without it feeling as if I'm just saying bad things about this other client.

It's so difficult. Apparently this other client didn't talk about what happened. My T told me how glad this person was with my help. At the same time I feel used and very sad about how things went. Difficult...

Your reaction makes sense to me, I think I would feel the very same in that situation. Talk to T about it. To make it easier for you, could you pretend that it's a random client of yours that's causing you all these problems? Then you still get to talk about the feelings its causing you to have without trashing her other client or having to worry about her feeling guilty. Or even discuss it and then admit who the client really is. Then you'll have already told the story, it might kind of take the edge off?

This is interesting to me, because my T has suggested an activity for me to do that one of her clients also does as well. In the back of my head I am like "But what if I find out who your client is?! I dont' want to know!" I highly doubt it, but still...

With my approval, my T gave my number to another client of hers who wanted to go into the same business as I. It seemed a little unusual, but I figured it was because it was something I had never done before. But in the end her other client and I have become good business connections for each other.
But maybe the difference is that I didn't hire her for help, we were just resources for each other.
I think it's ok for you to talk about it with your T.

In this relationship it's really your therapist's responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries. Sure you could have not let her introduce you but that's not the point. The point is that she violated your confidentiality and that of the other client. She messed up huge in my opinion.

Glad to hear things can turn out well too. I think, if that's the case, the idea could have been a good one (from my T). But you never know. When things get messed up, like they did in this case, it creates very weird and difficult situations... I'm still convinced my T wanted to do me a favor. Initially she did too.

I guess.... just like I wouldn't like it if a family member or a friend would have the same therapist, I don't really want to get to know other clients. I don't know why, but it's weird.