[AnxiousGirl]

Ive been seeing a therapist for a year and this entire time I feel like I bother them with my problems and everything. Like for instance, when I send my T an email about something I wasn't able to talk about in session, I say sorry to bother you about 5 times and she keeps saying that T is the one who told me to email. Now I sent my T an email yesterday to reschedule and we got a conversation going but stopped after my last email and now I dont know if I have an appointment or not, so I sent another one because I forgot to add something. Now I'm afraid that when T sees these emails my T is going to be like "doesnt she have a life? Why is she emailing me all the time?". It this all in my head?

[bugbear83]

Ahhh sending you all the love because I feel this anxiety so hard sometimes. I know that in a normal social situation, having to repeatedly remind someone that something is alright can get annoying. Then again interactions with a therapist aren't exactly normal social situations. There's a level of professionalism there, and even though I OFTEN feel like I'm annoying my T with talking about the same old thing over and over again I have to remind myself; this is what we're here for. Literally. This isn't just me gabbing with a friend, this is someone who I've come to for help working out things I CAN'T just gab with friends about. You know?

Bottom line I wouldn't worry about it. They're your therapist for cryin out loud. If they're really annoyed by hearing about your issues then they should maybe find another line of work~

I totally relate. I think I annoy the heck out of him. He swears I don't, but I don't tend to believe the things he says. LOL

[dj315]

Hugs, because I completely understand. I feel like I annoy mine all the time. I don't email him too frequently, but I always feel bad about the times I do because it's usually what he describes as a "brain dump" when I don't get everything out in session because I'm too tangled in my thoughts or afraid to say it. He keeps saying it's fine that I do that, but encourages me to not leave without discussing something I want to. Otherwise, I feel like I annoy him in general because I feel stuck and like I'm not going anywhere. I actually asked him this week if I'm wasting his time. That led to a really, really good conversation.

My problem is transference, and I'm projecting the fears I have in approaching my father (who is absolutely not approachable and has never been) onto my T. I keep expecting him to get annoyed with me or dismiss my problems, but he never does. He had to reassure me that therapy is there for a reason, and if you're stuck you probably need to be there all the more. He even said "I'm glad you're here" which I think might be the most meaningful thing he's ever said to me.

Do you think your problem might be transference? Do you have this issue with other people in your life? I would 100% bring this up with your T. Sometimes you need to hear--and keep hearing--that you're not annoying them. There's nothing wrong with needing that I know I make up in my head all the time that I'm some kind of burden to everyone around me, so it's nice to be in an environment where discussing that is definitely uncomfortable, but also definitely safe to do so.

[spring2014]

I never annoy my therapist .she glad that I contact her with my problems cuz she cares for me . she even called me back up when I had my surgery three months ago to see how I was doing .its the nurse part of her that came out from her cuz of her nursing background.










Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds : Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia

[Chummy]

I'm often afraid I annoy my T. Or my pdoc. Not with emails, because I don't often send my T emails. But in session. I'm afraid I annoy them by not talking a lot, having silences before I say something, not looking them in the eyes or just by whatever I say.

If your T says you doesn't bother her with emails, then you should believe her. If she wouldn't want you to send emails, she would say it to you. And she can decide when to read her emails. I'm sure she has more clients who send her emails. And she won't think you don't have a life, but just that you have a lot going on and T's are the persons you can tell everything to.

Originally Posted by dj315

Hugs, because I completely understand. I feel like I annoy mine all the time. I don't email him too frequently, but I always feel bad about the times I do because it's usually what he describes as a "brain dump" when I don't get everything out in session because I'm too tangled in my thoughts or afraid to say it. He keeps saying it's fine that I do that, but encourages me to not leave without discussing something I want to. Otherwise, I feel like I annoy him in general because I feel stuck and like I'm not going anywhere. I actually asked him this week if I'm wasting his time. That led to a really, really good conversation.

My problem is transference, and I'm projecting the fears I have in approaching my father (who is absolutely not approachable and has never been) onto my T. I keep expecting him to get annoyed with me or dismiss my problems, but he never does. He had to reassure me that therapy is there for a reason, and if you're stuck you probably need to be there all the more. He even said "I'm glad you're here" which I think might be the most meaningful thing he's ever said to me.

Do you think your problem might be transference? Do you have this issue with other people in your life? I would 100% bring this up with your T. Sometimes you need to hear--and keep hearing--that you're not annoying them. There's nothing wrong with needing that I know I make up in my head all the time that I'm some kind of burden to everyone around me, so it's nice to be in an environment where discussing that is definitely uncomfortable, but also definitely safe to do so.

Sounds just like the things my T says!

[SkyscraperMeow]

No, because I'm wildly delightful (You probably are too!)

[atisketatasket]

The way I see it, they annoy me way more than I could ever be annoying to them with my charming, winsome, always-communicative-and-open, completely non-cynical, personality.

No, seriously, I don't email mine, but I think they would let me know if they were annoyed by too many emails.

[AnaWhitney]

Ah I feel for you. I think it is more than likely all in your head. But I understand how it feels to think this way. I always feel like I'm annoying my T just by turning up and speaking. She never acts like I do but I still think it. If I have to miss a session I think it must be nice for her to have a break from me and that I should do it more often for her sake.

I think they probably do get annoyed, but they just don't say anything. Sometimes they cut off emailing when they can't take it anymore.

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

Ive been seeing a therapist for a year and this entire time I feel like I bother them with my problems and everything. Like for instance, when I send my T an email about something I wasn't able to talk about in session, I say sorry to bother you about 5 times and she keeps saying that T is the one who told me to email. Now I sent my T an email yesterday to reschedule and we got a conversation going but stopped after my last email and now I dont know if I have an appointment or not, so I sent another one because I forgot to add something. Now I'm afraid that when T sees these emails my T is going to be like "doesnt she have a life? Why is she emailing me all the time?". It this all in my head?

I really doubt that you annoy your therapist; however, I know that I annoy mine. I don't know when she'll get sick of me, but I will ride this thing out.

[junkDNA]

i have def annoyed my T before, but he hasnt left yet. im trying to not be so annoying.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I think they probably do get annoyed, but they just don't say anything. Sometimes they cut off emailing when they can't take it anymore.

my T told me he was annoyed one time

I feel like I annoy mine constantly. She would never admit it, though.

[stopdog]

No. I am pretty usual - I don't think the woman pays close enough attention to annoyed and I am not part of her real life where my decisions would have any bearing on her.
They chose a career where their purpose was to sit there listening to not super happy people. I figure if they get annoyed with clients - they made a bad career choice.

[Ndscisyv]

I tend to feel like annoy people whenever I need/want to talk about any of my issues. Doubly so with my T since I lay more on him than anyone else. But it is their job and it's why we go to a therapist. I hope that a therapist would be up front if anything became annoying enough to hinder the reason for our being there in the first place.

[BoulderOnMyShoulder]

I'm sure I have. He's annoyed me too though.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am always afraid of annoying my T. I don't contact her much anymore. I used to email and want to chat on the phone all the time. I think she might have found me annoying. She would never admit to it because she knows I am sensitive.

I know I frustrated and irritated ex T because I talk a lot when anxious.

She told me I did, and why.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I worry about it, especially when I'm depressed. I don't like depressed me and can't imagine anyone else would either.

[LittleBird42]

I have sent really long and (to me) deep and meaningful insightful emails to my T. His answers are always very curt, but polite. Like 'that is interesting. Lots to talk about. Regards.'. So it's hard after an outpouring on email etc. to get a general response like that.
But that said, I don't really care if I annoy him - he annoys me on occasions also. And we are the ones that are paying - and this is their vocation (and they are only human and infallible also).

Last visit, I did overhear the client before me yelling at my T, and my T was yelling back. I cant imagine a session like that, as I'm just not combative. It made me wonder how they switch from one client after the next like that?

[nervous puppy]

I think I annoyed my previous T, but I wasn't allowed to email, only phone calls, and I HATED calling. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I needed to call but every time she called back I thought she sounded annoyed. I don't know if she really was or not. She always was OK with it next time we met.
"New" T is so stinking kind and sweet that she actually thanks me for emailing her every time, and tells me to stop being sorry for bothering her. She says that emailing her how I'm doing and what I'm feeling, expressing my self in a way that I can't when I'm with her, is very helpful and good. So it's a good way to aid in the therapeutic process, according to T, that is.
I still try really, really hard to NOT send an email unless I just can't stop the thoughts on my own.
I think it's totally normal to worry about annoying your T.

[AncientMelody]

I've grown up feeling that way unfortunately!! And worried about it in the beginning with mine. So I know how you feel. I'm finally at the point where I'm comfortable with myself and realize that I deserve help when I need it and I don't have to apologize merely for existing. so I finally overcame that.

[Myrto]

My ex-T said several times that she was annoyed with me. So no suprise there.
My current T, I don't think I annnoy her and if I do, she hides it well. Besides she gets paid for listening to me, I don't think she gets to be annoyed