The Couch 102, Buckle My Shoe!

Back when I lived in a house in the suburbs, my orange tabby would answer the door with me on Hallowe'en. Until a little girl dressed like a fairy said, "oh, I just love cats," scooped him up, and planted a big ol' kiss on his head. You could see that if he could talk, he would have screamed, "COOTIES!"

And he never answered the door with me after that.

I wish it wasn't 2 weeks til t again. My anger came roaring out tonight and it took me awhile and a bunch of crying to cool down. My h yelled at me about something I won't waste your all's time with and I looked him right in the eyes and yelled back at him "Don't f-ing yell at me!" But I said the full word of course. And when I say I yelled, I mean ferocious I am a lion kind of yelling. It scared ME. At least he didn't go to bed and pout. But he did back off the subject after that. I was thinking while I was crying that I think what happens is something inside me is triggered when he yells at me, the inner little girl is triggered, and grown-up me is now learning how to be in full protection mode and taking care of that little self and right now is ferociously standing up for her, and I need to figure out how to do it in a more sane way. I have never yelled at my husband like that ever before in almost 18 years of marriage. It was ugly and scary and loud butbutbut.... my inner little girl felt like somebody was sticking up for her finally and it felt good because of that. I want to talk to t about it but she's out of town now until next weekend. I'm not angry anymore. But hoo boy. That was some explosion.

Who knows, Art? Maybe it serves as a wake-up call for your husband.

I have to recommend that everyone go see Bridge of Spies. Tom Hanks was his amazing self. Really interesting movie. We went to a local eat-in theater that we hadn't been to before. The leather chairs fully reclined. The food was not your usual run-of-the-meal pre-packaged eat-in theater faire. Actually quite different menu and tasted excellent. We will definitely be going back.

Watching Game 5 at Wendy's again. The cashier just offered me a free Frosty, I've been here so long.

Evening, couch.

Well, I am home from CVS and fed. I stopped by Carrabba's after work, now I have leftovers for supper tomorrow night.

I was supposed to be off Monday and Tuesday from CVS, but I was asked today to work 5-9 tomorrow because we were short staffed. I agreed. So now I will go straight from school job to CVS. I need to stop by the ATM at some point too to get my rent out to pay the lady I live with. I was going to after school job tomorrow, but now I have CVS and will not get home until she is in bed. Hmmm.

I should go to bed, but I want to put tomorrow off as long as possible.

Pocket riders at 2 pm EST anyone? That's the doctor appointment.

Count me in

(((Artie))) that is awesome. I have screamed from that place before, and i believe its a place of growth. But people have always scrunched me back down into the stuff bag. Or they backed down. Hard to say. But i hope you get to continue in that place.

(((Art)))
Yelling is good. Sometimes people do need to be yelled at

I was supposed to go to T this morning but my car wouldn't start. So i thought its only down the road i'll bike it. My tyres were flat and the chain had come off. Put chain back on jamming fingrs in the process went to get pump but couldn't find bike attachment this pump comes with a range of attachments, soccer ball, basketball, volleyball etcI was just about in tears and texted T 5 mins before session. He called back while I hitting the bike with the pump Basil Fawlty-style..Its now another 4 weeks till I see him making it all up 9 weeks between sessions.

((((Art))))

(((Bpa))) i have nightmares like that only im trying to catch buses and trains, not fix bikes, but trying to get to t.

Hey if theres a chance of headcheese, just try and stop us!!

I just like saying headcheese

(((BPA)))
What's with your T and the huge gap between sessions anyway? That's not therapeutic. And it's not fair

I'd hit up the stbx for some more, but, yanno, annoying boundary-challenged man-child who will not be ex half soon enough and all that...

It hasn't happened for a while but last time he said he let his client load get out of hand. What I have been thinking of doing is booking 2 sessions ahead so this issue doen't come up. Also I do think because I am one of his oldest clients that he does tend to take it for granted that maybe I won't mind...When this happens such a long break I do find oit really hard to get into the swing of things again and its like starting at the beginning again. Maybe that it why it has taken 5 years to get where we are now. Maybe its not fair idk.

I'm in the ICU of the hospital. Was in coma for three days. I should be able to get home today.

We've been wondering about you

LIterally just then I realised that there were 2 hug emoticons...

Oh dear. *offers hug only if you want one*

(Artie figures out how to use the multi-quote button)

Thanks y'all. lolagrace I hope it's a wake up call for him. He needed one, imo.

and yeah unaluna that's what I was trying to find the words for you got it perfectly, the yelling came from a place of growth and I felt somehow different after it was all over.

JS I don't think I'd ever experienced yelling as being a good thing before. But even though I scared myself at the time, I feel veryvery strong in myself this morning.

It will be interesting to see how this feeling plays out today at work!!

Three, actually. Hug, sadhug and grouphug.

Thanks for the hugs, Bpa and QuietM.

I don't wanna go to work! I'm exhausted from yet another weekend of head games with the stbx and I don't want to go play nice with Christians. (Apologies to the Christians on the couch, I'm just not Christian and I work for a Christian non-profit. I want to be real-me today, not work-me)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Real-you seems decent enough to pass for Christian to me. (If you define Christian by behavior and not religious sentiment.)

(Not putting down any other sects here, including my own. Just being encouraging.)

Today is another day... Husband is away again, however, my 'smother' (love The Goldbergs) will be needing a room tonight... :/ So won't be my house until she leaves. I should get her to pay my mortgage while she's there since she treats it like hers and me like I'm 5. This is not the week for her to be here. 3 T sessions and my first psych evaluation. I never though therapy would be this hard, or draining. I thought it would be helpful and positive, which I'm sure it will get there but right now this is the hardest thing I think I've ever done. I guess it will only make me stronger although I like this quote better: .