The Couch 102, Buckle My Shoe!

I had two helpings of I'm so mad I could spit, followed by a nice refreshing temper tantrum to wash it all down. I really need my I don't give a damn back.

(((Granite)))
I followed my T from a clinic to his own private practice too. It worked out really well.

i just kind of worry about her having no restraints

If she's running her own successful practice that's not something you'll have to worry about at all. She wouldn't last on her own if she wasn't able to put restraints on herself, so to speak.
I know in my case the boundaries at my T's practice are much better than they were in the clinic. That place was a nuthouse - terrible management, but that's a whole 'nother story...

Angry at Madame T. Grrr!

Granite, with the exception of my first therapist who was at a university, I've never seen a therapist in a clinic setting. Even if they were in a practice that included quite a few therapists/pdocs, etc., they were still independent therapists. I've never had a problem with an independent therapist. In fact, the few I tried out that were in clinic settings were the ones I ended up not liking come to think about it. Remember, you therapist is your therapist wherever she hangs her shingle. Her style and approaches don't change when she goes from one office to another.

Draft to Madame T:

Dear T,
I don’t feel safe to tell you how angry I am.
You often get defensive, stubborn, sarcastic or angry in return.
That was fun in the early days but I do not need your anger any more.
Love,
CE

Did something new happen, CE?

No. She's just risen to the top of the heap, that's all. I don't have any more urgent problem right now.

Thanks for asking!

Hi T!

Here is a collection of letters I wrote at various times this year but could never decide to send, until now. I greatly fear that I still won’t get through to you, but what do I have to lose?

I know I’m “sending mixed messages”, but surely you don’t expect emotional consistency from a patient! My feelings change and I change my mind. I never understood why you reproached me about that in the first place.

Love,
CE

Any new developments w/Madame T? Or residual hurting?

Residual.

granite it sounds like she really does want to work with you... i'm glad that you can think that as a possibility, i think that's a good good thing!! personally for me, I am glad that my t is in private practice, precisely because she doesn't have to abide by anyone else's structure. She does maintain good boundaries, although they are flexible, they are always there and I am aware enough of them that we have never had to have "the talk" about boundaries. She also has her own t, that she talks to twice a month, i wouldn't want to be in therapy with a t who didn't, that's just me, but it works great for me that she's in private practice because we can go outside the box a little bit with the shamanic work we sometimes do as part of my therapy. Just my point of view, but seeing your t in private practice could turn out to be a good thing. I'm glad she's giving you the choice to try it out and see how it feels before you make a decision.

ok i'm going to get brave and share a pic of my curly hair from this morning. it came out really cute I think and I want to do it that way every day now! Funny - when I was growing up I never cared about making myself look pretty so I never learned how to 'do my hair', it feels kinda funny in a way to be learning at my old age.... heh... but better late than never eh? my affirmation that t gave me recently is really working - i say it every day - "I step out, and let my light shine in the world." I am shining in this picture (or is it the light in the ceiling fan above my head? )

Tomorrow I have to go into T to pay one of my outstanding invoices. I don't understand why he can't email or post it to me like he did last year. I smell a trap. Its probably because he sucks so much at billing.

Looking good Art!

It is so painful watching the puppy eat. He picks up one piece of kibble at a time and eats in what I would call a mindful manner. Looks at you then eats another piece of kibble. You cannot leave the room until he is finished because he stops eating andfollows you and barks until you go back to the kitchen.

Art, you look really cute

I am furious at the stbx this evening. Well, I've been irritated as all unholy hell for the last few days and I finally connected it with him. The last three weeks have been incredibly stressful, thanks mostly to him. And he still thinks he can win me back. After all I've been through - all he's put me through, that's downright insulting.
I am so busy sorting out everything and I even have to keep track of stuff he's supposed to be dealing with. He agreed, in court, to weekend parenting times that he can't do because he's working and I'm the one who had to say 'hey, aren't you working those hours?'. When I asked him about it last weekend he didn't even know that he had agreed to it. Stupid man. And he used to yell at ME for not paying attention. Yeah, he used to totally blame me for his f-ups. And I used to swallow it whole. F-ing a-hole.

Yes, Shakey is pissed. It's long overdue.

i used to have that much hair!! Now i have this much hair! smoke em if you got em!

love it art next i want a pic of it tied up lol i bet it looks adorable

(((JS))) and to all others who want/need them!

Art, thanks for your hugs all the time. I always take them. Your hair looks cute too, how long does it take you to tie it up?

(((JS)))

Thanks Art and Ellahmae

I officially give up. My T can go suck a slug.