Double talking about transference

I've gone into a transference with T where I'm back at very early age of two or three. She first says how this is good and a big step to let it be there while we deal with the rejections/neglect I had in my past. She is so accepting and knowing about this scary stuff for me.
BUT she can't let a session go by that she doesn't remind me of how it's important to find people in my social circle to be friends with and love. I feel totally jerked around by this. It makes T out to be a liar to encourage my little child transference, then advise me to do like a grown-up and find my best friend in church, or somewhere else, to depend on.

And you pay them for it. They have quite a racket going on. It is why I no longer let the therapist mess with me, but instead I tell her to not talk and use it in a way that is not a complete waste - but has nothing to do with why I started seeing her. The funny part to me is that the woman will, from time to time, try to say I have gotten better from the reason I went in the first place, and I have to correct her and remind her (once again) that it is the same, I just no longer bother trying to tell/show her about it as she is so completely inadequate and worthless at helping with it.

I think your T sounds like a good one. She's encouraging you to heal original hurt with her in a very direct fashion, supporting your younger voice. But she's also encouraging you to not abandon your adult self by seeking out appropriate adult support outside of therapy. I think the two positions aren't in opposition, and it's important for the two to co-exist. One of the most valuable things my T did for me was to encourage me to be functional in my life and to respect that functional adult self, while also accepting my more vulnerable, pained, younger self.

I get where you are coming from, but I think the lie here would be to let you believe that T is the only person you do need. Yes, you do need her and she sounds like a caring, safe, nurturing T. That is a wonderful feeling to have and you are fortunate to have good support and security from her.

It sounds to me like this T is reminding you that while this need to heal the hurt left behind in your child parts is normal and needs to be fulfilled, you are also an adult that needs to have healthy, meaningful relationships in addition to the one she is giving you.

All in all, T is just being realistic here and actually doing you good by not letting you lose yourself any further in the transference. She is promoting a good balance between working out your past childhood issues and your current adult needs.

I do believe in a good balance between adult & child in therapy. It's just that my inner child feels such intense anxiety at T's advice to socialize, that it takes days to get over the fear. It's such a drag to deal with the anxiety day after day. I guess it's necessary, tho, as I wouldn't be in therapy if I could relate the normal way. My inner child feels T is the only one that matters and that she will literally die if T wants her to prefer someone else.
Stopdog, I like your response too, about the money. I pay, and I should speak up when I feel something is coming at me too hard, whether right or wrong about it.