Facebook Friend Request from Therapist

My therapist and I are facebook friends. I wanted so show her something my daughter had posted that was significant to my parenting, but that day I had left my phone in my car. So she said, just friend request me and I will look at it tonight. Yes, it did seem strange (my only other therapist had boundaries that a stick of dynamite could not have nudged) at the time. It has not been an issue as I don't put very personal stuff on my page and she rarely posts anything on hers. A couple of instances I have been a bit envious of her "perfect" children (I go to therapy for parenting support as at least one of my children has fairly severe emotional issues). Overall, though, I don't mind at all and kinda like it

FACEBOOK SPIES ON EVERYTHING YOU DO!

Your T could have typed your name in a word document or in an excel spreadsheet and Facebook picks it up as a name and suggests them as a friend. Easy enough to hit the friend request button by mistake!

How do I know? It's happened to me TWICE with two different therapists.

My guess is it was some address book mass invite mishap. Mine told me that when he got his new (personal) cell phone, he accidentally clicked on the wrong thing and it added 2000 of his gmail contacts to his phone contacts, some of whom he REALLY did not want to see on there. Linked in tries to do that to me all the time too.

Seems like that would change the t/patient relationship

Em, yes I think we can! We might look them up out of curiosity, I mean we don't get to see who they really are at all, we just have to pour out our hearts to this mysterious person that we don't get to actually know in return. Of course we are going to be curious about them.
But they know more about us than anybody else does, how they aren't sick of listening to us and countless others I will never know. I mean I'm sure they are fond of us in a way but what in the world would they want to go home and look at us some more for?
I'm sure my students have looked me up on facebook. Hell, I know they have because I've seen the friend requests. But If I was looking all of them up... yeah there would be something strange about that.
Although in saying all of that, I would probably be flattered if my T looked at my page lol

YES - LinkedIn does it too and there is no way to turn it off. It sends periodic requests to your email contacts once you link your address book to your LinkedIn account. I got a LinkedIn request from my psychiatrist a few weeks ago and I must admit it made me anxious so I deleted my account entirely, part of me wondered if he had looked at my info on there. Then I realized what was going on - I was also seeing him in my "People You May Know" list on FB. It's all automatic once you punch in that email address and there's no going back. I didn't bring it up with him because I'm pretty sure it was the system and not him. LinkedIn was not useful to me at all anyway...I find it pretty outrageous that they reserve the right to badger people even when you didn't make a request to network with them.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

i agree that facebook spies on everything you do. i'm getting tired of it, and almost want to delete my facebook completely, but 1) I don't want to lose touch of all the people I've re-connected with on there and 2) I doubt I'd be able to delete anything on there anyway...

I wouldn't accept.

Just today I came upon an article re: the ethics of therapists Googling or looking for patient accounts on Facebook, Twitter, etc.

The ethics department of the university that wrote the article was unanimous in their decision that therapists should NEVER Google nor look at a client's social media without permission from said client.

The question proposed to therapists was this:

How would YOU feel if a client looked up your personal information on the internet and found images of you and your family, your interests, info on your friends, etc. NOT that any therapist in his/her right mind would make this info public, but the question is a valid one.

The university article went so far as to say that therapists have an ethical obligation NOT to Google their clients (or look on Facebook, Twitter, etc.) unless he or she thought something could be wrong with said client (as in being in a crisis, for example), and went so far as to say that looking at a client's social media without permission is akin to a client parking a car outside a therapist's home. That seems like a bit of a stretch, but its not really: personal space is being invaded.

So my answer to your question is, I would not be happy is my therapist sent a friend request from her private Facebook page--at the VERY least without asking you first.

I think it is a true boundary violation.

The internet is such a strange thing when it comes to therapy.
But boundaries need to be kept on both sides.
That's for sure.

By the way, I'm new to psych central and would like to thank everyone for sharing your journeys with such openness and grace.

Remy70

Agreed 100%

See my above reply.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!

For those of us that graduated pre-Facebook, pre-Linked-In, nothing was covered in school regarding boundaries as they relate to social media. So unless a therapist has sought out continuing education in this area, there's no training on how to handle it.

There are ethical guidelines available online, and certainly courses are being offered in colleges/universities for credit. This IS an issue that licensed therapists SHOULD be getting schooled on. Just because I was a teacher before computers were used every day in the classroom is no excuse not to learn about online safety and firewalls, etc.
(I'm not suggesting you wouldn't go back for classes, I'm just saying they are now being offered.)

Please see my above comment.

A therapist sending a friend request is not considered ethical without first asking permission. But as you say, there are no set rules as of yet. However, I think common sense and good boundaries go a long way.

Facebook is not a private space - its very purpose is to not be private. I am not on it, but I can't see what difference it would make to me if a therapist looked me up online. Students and clients do it to me all the time. I doubt either of the women would bother, but if they did - no big deal to me.

My problem with the "How would you feel...?" is that as someone on the cusp of the Millennial generation, I'd shrug my shoulders. I expect to be googled which is why I google myself periodically and I adjust my privacy setting accordingly.

If I discovered my T had googled me I wouldn't care. Public info is public for anyone who wishes to see it.

The friend request is more problematic, but nothing that can't be brought up in discussion. Technology can be a strange thing and I could see it being accidental. I wouldn't read too much into it until the T had confirmed they'd sent it on purpose. At that point, I'd feel like a boundary was crossed.

The university article sounds like it is coming from a legal perspective rather than an ethical one (although I know it is claiming ethics). At this point it's pretty common knowledge that anyone can google anyone they want and are within their rights - the Internet is public space, not personal. Sitting outside someone's house is a big difference since this becomes physical personal space, where the Internet is virtual. Is it wise for a T to google or Facebook stalk clients? Unless they're not concerned with the possibility of curiosity being misintetpreted or a complaint being filed, then no, it's not very smart. But to go so far as to call a simple google search an ethical violation is taking things a bit too far. I have a T and couldn't care less if she ever googled me or looked up my profile on Facebook. Aside from some picture of my kids, I keep most of my stuff locked for only friends to see anyway. And as a future T, I see no reason to feel the need to avoid social media altogether any more than other professionals.

That being said, a line is being crossed when Ts start friend requesting or following clients. From what I've learned, this is considered an ethical violation- mostly due to the potential dual relationship as well as confidentiality issues that could arise. LinkedIn invites, Facebook friend requests, following on Twitter or elsewhere, contacting on dating sites, etc., all should not be initiated by a therapist.

My T's facebook page is more business than personal although she does post pictures of her pets. When I first heard about her, I went to her page to see what she looked like. I sent a FB message asking to be put on her email list and then she friended me. I started seeing her months later and asked about the boundary. She said she's FB friends with most of her clients (she's semi retired so not many) and she likes being able to see what's going on in their lives.

So, I think it really depends on the client, the T. and the situation. Right now it wouldn't bother me at all to see pictures of her and her family. It definitely would have with ex-T so I wouldn't have accepted but her FB page is locked down tight.