Talking about sexual problem with T

I'm not used to being so open about sex. I grew up in the time when you waited til marriage! Gasp! Don't all faint. Failure to orgasm. Thanks, FJ.

This should be a no brainer.... some years ago you wrote on the forum that you were ... uhm..."going solo" while thinking of your T.

So you try and figure out why she is recommending a BOOK and your inabiity to orgasm as your relationship may have changed somewhat?

Please don´t confuse healthy adult sexuality for infantile erotisism.

Okay I can't speak for everyone but I'm still standing. Didn't even have to reach for the smelling salts though I might be clutching my pearls just a little!

So, uh, lots of people find a little weed to be helpful in this situation. Just sayin'. Also, this might be more than what you had in mind, but I've also read that some genital piercings (look up Elayne Angel and VCH piercing) can enhance sensation and be helpful for women who've never had an orgasm. Lastly, and just punch my arm if I'm totally overstepping here because I can do that sometimes, but um, what about your sexual orientation? I think you've mentioned elsewhere that it's been a cause of anxiety in general (beyond ET with your T) and in my experience sex/orgasm generally goes better when you're having sex (or even just imagining sex) with a person who really turns you on.

Are you talking about masterbation? Are you wanting to know if your T masterbates?

Thanks, Luce. I never said I wasn't aroused. Guess I was kinda vague.

Thanks. No meds or pills. T didn't recommend any particular book.

I don't care how she does it. I've never needed fantasies before.

Thank you. I will try to ask my Dr.

It's okay, Luce. I don't think there's another motive. Just thought T could help.

I don't fantasize about anyone now. Maybe that's the problem?

Thanks but LOL I'm not going to do those things. I'm not interested in a partner now but maybe in the future.

Yes, but I'm not interested in her answer. I was frustrated because she couldn't offer me any help! I knew I couldn't ask her that. It was one of those fleeting thoughts.

I read this after I replied. I think this is it, exactly

Mouse, I don't understand what the poster meant! Can you or someone please explain?

When I've had issues with getting to orgasm there's usually some underlying issue. Birth control pills did that to me. Antidepressants. Being emotionally tired.

I don't know where you are at in the womanly life cycle, but could there also have been a hormonal shift? I'd definitely talk with a trusted gynecologist and then, too, reducing the anxiety about orgasming. Like maybe enjoying all of it without the expectation, sort of like when people are in relationships and there's tension there, that sort of "no expectation" kind of thing (am I making sense). Like give yourself a lot of other kinds of love and that piece will be able to fit in there too.

But I would still talk with a doc and maybe get some hormone levels checked too if there aren't any med interferences.

Rainbow If you should want practical advice I think every lesbian in a long term relationship has dealt with this issue. Feel free to pm me. I don't want to give you advice you don't want.
I don't have first hand (no pun intended) experience as I have more issues with going off like a firecracker and have to work at not orgasming too FAST. But my partner has struggled with this a few times and we've worked through it each time.

So its true what they say about horseback riding?

I'm not sure what you are talking about...I've heard of women saying they orgasm while riding.that has never happened to me and I'm not sure how it could really work...
I'm just very very sensitive. When I'm not turned on I'm uber ticklish. When I am turned on I'm not ticklish at all but several spots turn into powerful erogenous zones. Assuming we are both aroused and into it, my partner can send me to the edge just by squeezing my hip bone the right way...so I don't know..I must just have extra dense never endings or something..

Please folks, let's not get into specific sexual issues in this thread as it's not appropriate for this forum.

The OP's question in her original post was:

Keeping on topic would be quite helpful and if rainbow8 needs further help with a deeper discussion it can be had in the Sexual & Gender Forum Sexual and Gender Issues - Forums at Psych Central

Thanks everyone!

The OP has requested that this thread be closed at this time.