[qwertykeyboard]

So I think I know too much about T from what i've read on the internet and social media.

How have other people dealt with this sense of curiosity of googling the internet for T? How has this impacted your relationship, if at all? Have you brought up what you discovered with T?

[RedSun]

Umm, yeah, I've done that. I got quite obsessed with T a few months in and googled her constantly, I've done this previously with other professionals eg college tutor

Nothing particularly showed up, and I stopped doing it, but I did it again recently. Something came up which was personal and sad for my T. I felt so bad that I had invaded her privacy (I know it is in the public domain, but I'm sure she would not have intended it to come up on a search) and I felt awkward that I knew this information

I didn't mention it, and I won't. In my opinion, it's her business and nothing to do with me. This happened a few months ago and I don't really think about it at all now. But I don't google her anymore!

[stopdog]

I see no need to tell a therapist unless a client has a specific purpose for doing so. I also don't see how it matters what the therapist is like on their own time. If the therapist is doing someone one simply cannot tolerate or finds morally reprehensible, then I would find a different one. Otherwise, as long as the therapist does not include it in my appointments, I just don't care.

I've never really felt the need to seek out information about my T that way. He is always pretty open with me about himself, and I know what I need to know.

[NowhereUSA]

I google everyone and I have since I discovered Google (when I went to college "google" was not yet a verb *cough* LOL).

So, I googled my T. No biggie IMO. Has it impacted our relationship? No. Not that I can tell anyway. I found his dissertation, we had a good laugh at that one because he talked about how ready he was to be done with school.

:: shrugs ::

If I feel curious about something I google. He wanted me to consult with a colleague of his so I got to googling later. Made me feel like Nancy Drew. My T just thought it was kind of funny because that's so me.

[qwertykeyboard]

Originally Posted by Red75

Umm, yeah, I've done that. I got quite obsessed with T a few months in and googled her constantly, I've done this previously with other professionals eg college tutor

Nothing particularly showed up, and I stopped doing it, but I did it again recently. Something came up which was personal and sad for my T. I felt so bad that I had invaded her privacy (I know it is in the public domain, but I'm sure she would not have intended it to come up on a search) and I felt awkward that I knew this information

I didn't mention it, and I won't. In my opinion, it's her business and nothing to do with me. This happened a few months ago and I don't really think about it at all now. But I don't google her anymore!

Would you fear accidentally referencing something to that sort in session? That is my fear.

[RedSun]

Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard

Would you fear accidentally referencing something to that sort in session? That is my fear.

Yes, I worry that I might show that I know in some way. I've also been aware that it might use it some way...to be manipulative, like to pretend I am being empathic or that we have such a good connection that I sensed it, sort of thing. Don't know if that makes sense

[qwertykeyboard]

Originally Posted by Red75

Yes, I worry that I might show that I know in some way. I've also been aware that it might use it some way...to be manipulative, like to pretend I am being empathic or that we have such a good connection that I sensed it, sort of thing. Don't know if that makes sense

Makes a ton of sense, thanks

[Findingjoy1795]

I, too, have looked up my T on the Internet.
One day during our session I noticed she was no longer wearing her wedding ring. After our appointment I turned to the Internet to confirm my suspicions (hyphenated last name was changed to just maiden name). For a while, I felt like I wasn't supposed to know about her divorce (though it was pretty obvious), and it made talking about my own relationships uncomfortable. A while later, she gave me a new business card with only her maiden name, and I felt like she could assume I knew, even if she didn't directly tell me.
But yes. I get curious. She knows all about my life and I know zero about hers. But I guess that's the point, so I try my best to avoid pursuing my curiosity about her life outside her office.

[ScarletPimpernel]

After my T discovered I Google search people (I showed her all the pics that I had of ex-T), she kind of figured I Google'd her too. She said she googles herself, so she knows what I will find.

[brillskep]

I have found out from a clinic's website that my therapist has been hired by mutual colleagues to work there even though he has enough clients in private practice. I feel upset about that because I am just starting out and no one is offering any support and I am also a little jealous / thinking it's unfair that my therapist gets that support even though he needs it much less than me (he can afford going away for the weekend almost every week while I can barely afford the bare necessities of daily living). I haven't brought it up yet because we're dealing with a big rupture, but if I stay with this therapist, I will, because it's important to my therapy that I feel like I have no support.

[doyoutrustme]

Oh, I totally learned my lesson after going too far with T googling. I got so f'ed up I had to tell on myself.

Google is my best friend. I know a lot more about T than he thinks I know. I don't plan on ever telling him either. Do you think your T would admit googling you? Probably not. It's public information, so it's all fair game to me.

[Ellahmae]

There is nothing on the internet about my T except the current company she works for and her license number. Is it wrong to wish there was more.....?

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Ellahmae

There is nothing on the internet about my T except the current company she works for and her license number. Is it wrong to wish there was more.....?

Be careful what you wish for. Ever since I found out about my T's sons I'm constantly on their social media. It ****ing hurts to look at them, to see their perfect lives displayed on the internet. I'd never have thought it would hurt me this badly.
I finally told my therapist about this because it was eating me alive and she was understanding. But still, I wish there was no info about my T's family life online, trust me. I'd be better off not knowing.

[Chummy]

I've googled my T and Pdoc. Other than what's on their LinkedIn, I didn't find much. I've found some photo's of my T and also of her with her boyfriend and daughter. I've seen some comments from her on Facebook. About pdoc I haven't found much. Only two photo's from his Facebook and that he plays tennis (and he's quite good at it).

I haven't told my T. But seeing her in those photo's and knowing how she's in sessions, I think she has a happy life. Actually I'm sure of it. Of course it's not perfect. But she has so many good things; boyfriend, daughter, sister and brother with who she gets along, friends, good job, she's beautiful and smart... It's often hurts so bad when I think about her. I don't think googling her was the best for me, but I was and still am so curious about her.

[atisketatasket]

I am pretty sure on the Romantic Feelings subforum someone said they had found a porn film starring their (much younger) therapist.

After that, to me, anything else would pale by comparison, except maybe a criminal record.

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I am pretty sure on the Romantic Feelings subforum someone said they had found a porn film starring their (much younger) therapist.

After that, to me, anything else would pale by comparison, except maybe a criminal record.

[LonesomeTonight]

It's probably a good thing that my T and particularly my marriage counselor have very common names, which makes it difficult to Google them. MC seems pretty tech-savvy, so I suspect he'd have things pretty locked down if he does have, say, a Facebook account. I do know his daughter's name, and she's a teen, so she likely has Facebook. (If I could even find her--same very common last name, but what is I assume is a less common first name, at least with that last name.) But I don't want to go down that rabbit hole...particularly because there's been some paternal transference.

I've googled my T and I talked about my curiosity and guilt over it.

She said that she knows everything up on the internet that she puts up can be found.

I told her I found her locked down Facebook, her LinkedIn and her public Instagram.

She says if I do something that makes her uncomfortable or crosses a boundary, she'll let me know.

I regularly look at her instagram and kind of like the (still highly filtered and censored) glimpse into her non therapist life.

Knowing she has a happy life (though of course, she has made reference to bad days too) and is passionate about her work makes me feel more secure that she has what she needs in life to be able to "be present" in her job, hopefully without burning out.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard

So I think I know too much about T from what i've read on the internet and social media.

How have other people dealt with this sense of curiosity of googling the internet for T? How has this impacted your relationship, if at all? Have you brought up what you discovered with T?

I've dealt with my curiosity by giving in to it and then confessing to my T. I used to look her up on FB but I felt too hurt by what I saw. I don't do that anymore but I still Google her. I can't seem to/don't want to stop. She has said it's all right to Google her. She knows when I'm hiding something so I don't even try keeping it from her.

Recently I started a thread about something I found out about my T on Google. It triggered me badly and I was very upset. I had to talk with her about it because I had so many confused feelings. She wasn't angry that I saw it, and said our work is about how it affects me, not about her life.

I feel closer to her because she has had losses in her life and had feelings like mine. I was shocked by some of what I read, but T is human after all. I guess I'm unusual but I think it's wrong not to tell your T that you google them because they ought to expect it and should know how to deal with it.

My t is very well known and told me to google her so i could find out more about her. That was probably my first or second session with her.

[skat]

I googled my therapist before I saw her and didn't find much on her. I've googled her occasionally since then. I told her that I googled her while I was doing my research when looking for a therapist. She wasn't phased by it.

[laxer12]

I found my T on Facebook and check it often even though I can't see anything other than her profile and cover photo...I do like it when she updates her pictures. I kind of wish I could see more but then I also don't want to get too attached so it's probably a good things. While I've been seeing her over the past year, she has restricted a lot of her social media stuff so there isn't much for me to look at anymore.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard

So I think I know too much about T from what i've read on the internet and social media.

How have other people dealt with this sense of curiosity of googling the internet for T? How has this impacted your relationship, if at all? Have you brought up what you discovered with T?

Yes and my sense of curiosity was somewhat of a surprise to me. What I learned and verified from more than one source, made me, on one hand, more comfortable w/my T, and on the other hand, made me wonder if he was as objective in treating me as he should be...after all, he knows information about me just from my intake. I haven't brought up any information I learned and don't plan to; eventually, some of it will come out in therapy, one way or another.