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#1
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I recently started seeing a new therapist who I like a lot and we are trying to work out scheduling. I feel like I need to see him at least 2x per week right now but telling him that makes me feel weak and needy especially since he mentioned that he sees most of his clients once a week.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression and anxiety, and BPD. My last therapist was highly manipulative and groomed me to be very dependent on him to compensate for his own personal issues. I was to the point of calling him almost twice a day and seeing him three times per week. Now, my therapist is very professional and I don't call him between sessions because the trust is not there yet and I don't want to overstep his boundaries so this sudden decrease in therapist contact has been kind of a difficult adjustment (again he does't know that because I don't want to come across as needy) I'm currently in a really hard place and he is my only support that keeps me somewhat stable so Im not ready to cut down on my sessions yet. I just feel so needy and weak and clingy and like I'm the only one of his clients who can't handle only once per week. |
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#2
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During a particularly difficult stretch I saw my T twice a week for a few months. I know what it's like to feel too needy (and part of that is because of experiences from childhood and growing up where I was taught to be "self-reliant"). The fact is, mental illness, just like a physical illness, can require differing levels of care at certain points in the journey.
With my T, when I checked the facts, I realized that he's being paid for a service that he willingly offers (to sit in his chair and listen to me for an hour). Even if everyone else only needs one session, they are also only paying for one session. If I come in for two, he's being paid for his time. I know for some people thinking too much about the fact that a T is paid is uncomfortable, but for me, that is a freeing reality. So that's to say, I don't know if that would help you exactly but it might?
__________________
It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of. ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed |
#3
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I've seen my T twice a week for three years. A week is an arbitrary human construct - there is nothing inherently more healthy (or less healthy) about going to therapy once in every seven days, than going more often than that. And your therapist's other clients are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what is helpful and meaningful for you.
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#4
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I have been in therapy for many years, and because relocation have switched therapist a few times. I know for me, I fluctuate from twice a week to twice a month, depending on finances and how I am doing. I have a new therapist also, we just had our 4th appointment and I am struggling with some stuff, when I left his office on Tuesday I booked my appointments weekly out through January. He understands that I need to have that commitment. It doesn't make you weak to ask for what you know you need. Don't worry about his other patients, take good care of yourself...
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#5
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I can totally relate to how you feel and I've been seeing my therapist for several years. I'm in a very difficult place right now and wish she could read my mind and ask if I would like to come in more often, but I just can't bring myself to ask her for it. I would feel too needy and ashamed if she thought I couldn't handle getting through a week without her help.
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#6
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I think you should do what is best for you. If you need more sessions then have more sessions. It might help you to have more support. I know what you mean about feeling needy. I always feel needy but my T likes it when I take the initiative to say what I need.
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#7
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I have had periods of seeing my T twice a week when I've been struggling. Also you have had a bad experience with a previous T. Do what's best for you and be kind to yourself!
__________________
"Trauma happens - so does healing " |
#8
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