[littleowl2006]

Ok so here it goes.
I have been in group therapy for almost a year now. But I still feel dismissed sometimes and like noone gets me and I can't get to the point like this. I need help, but I feel like people don't really care and my T has formed some picture of me which doesn't really fit my personality. And I am afraid of speaking up about it, because that would be seen as denial and push me deeper into the corner.
I have tried to switch from the group to individual therapy. The T was a nice woman, but she seemed discouraging to me and somehow it didn't fit.
There's topics I feel like I can't talk about in the group because I tried once and got terribly understood, felt judged by my T and went home feeling horrible. I am still thinking about this constantly and don't know how to solve this. It was about a friendship which I have been very frustrated with for quite some time. But my T didn't even ask me why, how it made me feel and what were the reasons and so on. I guess he thinks I can't judge what a good friendship looks like and that I am too clingy. - Whatever it was, my true problem remained untouched. He was very dismissive and didn't give me any credit and I just got desperate and cried and felt SO ashamed in front of the group. I feel so horribly misunderstood and I am pretty angry about it. For him, I am just the average crazyperson.
This is too difficult.
Any suggestions please?

[Angelique67]

Hi littleowl. Do you have to go to this particular group? Is it possible to change to a different one?

Also, maybe if you wrote out what you want to talk about, and brought the notes with you, you could just read aloud in the group exactly what you want to say. I wish you good luck.

[missbella]

I was in a situation like you described where communicating with my therapists --they were a team--was like beating my head against the wall. My time with them was only harmful, and I wish I'd left sooner.

[monkeybrains21]

Run. Find a new T or group. Really there is one out there for u sometimes it just takes time to find the right T. Thankfully I found mine on the 2nd try. Still difficult but this T asks questions and is interested and is there for me.

[littleowl2006]

Thank you for your responses. I have also tried individual therapy once before, but it also felt extremely awful and things got blurred a lot and left me desperate and feeling guilty. I am pretty discouraged and struggling to maintain my sanity - I do have problems with trusting my instincts and my perception, and my T knows that. But he expects me to feel and act like someone who doesn't struggle so much. Does that make sense? I can't even put it into words :*(
So far I have talked to a lot of therapists, but I haven't found one who could help me talk about the things that I don't understand myself.
My T seems pushy and demanding to me and I feel like a suspect. This is awful

[nicoleflynn]

Perhaps one on one therapy would be better for you. Seeing a therapist alone.

I think some therapists do not quite underand that the inner personality of their patients does not always translate into their visible personality (if that makes sense).
To give an example, I cannot be my sociable, dynamic self anymore because of health issues. doctors interpret my behavior wrongly, because they assume I always behaved this way. They do not consider that I am struggling with pain, breathing difficulty, forgetfulness, neurological impairments and fatigue while I engage in a iscussion. It's probably due to lack of time and lack of compassion on the doctors' side.

Going back to you, on one hand it sounds like you may have reached a plateau in your current group. Switching therapists and groups may be useful. Maybe your current therapist can suggest a colleague and perhaps a smaller group. The ideal setting may not exist and you may have to make it work with the therapists available.

On the other hand, there is only so much a therapist can do. It is up to the patient to do the work toward the therapy goal. Irrespective of whether or not you feel misunderstood, you can take lessons from the experience. If it was me, I'd monitor weekly/monthly progress and see what I can do independently to fulfill my goals.
I would not put much thought into considering the picture my therapist has of me. The therapist is just a temporary crutch.

[littleowl2006]

It feels really ineffective. I'm starting to think that if all therapy is like this, what's the point?
It only makes me feel worse and understand less. Like "Yes, I know that feeling that way is very very wrong of me. But hello, I am here and willing to work on it, can we please do that?"
Ggg I'm frustrated

I thought I had a great relationship with my T. I thought he knew me. I trusted him. He pretended to like me in session but then he went against me when talking to others. He was concerned about looking good to someone else and thought if he berated me to her, she would like him more. She fell for it, the façade, that he agreed with her. That he believed I was worthless. He just said it to gain her approval. He was smitten. He only used me to get attention from other people.

[littleowl2006]

Originally Posted by Cloudburst

I thought I had a great relationship with my T. I thought he knew me. I trusted him. He pretended to like me in session but then he went against me when talking to others. He was concerned about looking good to someone else and thought if he berated me to her, she would like him more. She fell for it, the façade, that he agreed with her. That he believed I was worthless. He just said it to gain her approval. He was smitten. He only used me to get attention from other people.

That sounds awful, Cloudburst.
I am pretty sure that my T is a professional and sticks to the rules. But still the group dynamic is humiliating sometimes, like the one time I mixed up a quote and got severely mocked. I find it hard to speak up to a person of authority AND groups of people and things like that really just don't help at all. They are repeating the "don't be so sensitive pattern" all over again. I don't want to sound self righteous and I am aware of the fact that they probably don't intentionally hurt me, but still my therapy process goes down the toilet