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#1
Jun 28, 2007, 10:29 AM
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Nevermind.
  
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#2
Jun 28, 2007, 10:46 AM
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Depends on whether you were trying to illict symphaphy from your sucide attempt? If thats the case, abeit unconsiously, then your pdoc playing into that wouldnt be helping you. Sometimes what we think we think we want from another isn't always what we need?
I think his statement that his not mad, but surprised is quite adeqoute. Its up to you whether you "Kick him to the curb" but that doesn't sound very human-ness either. I;d suggest being really honest with yourself and with the pdoc. Good luck. |
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#3
Jun 28, 2007, 11:02 AM
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Quote "I would definitely... almost definitely... probably... maybe let my current pdoc know how I felt, but I'm not sure I'll get what I need from him even if I do (which is human-ness). This just feels like a deal-breaker..."
I think you have already made up your mind. If this is how you feel, go forth from here, and find the help - comfort - and support it is your are looking for with this other pdoc. However I will say this, it is never a good idea to burn bridges with anyone, even your current pdoc. You never know when you may have to return to them for help, and you would hate to have bad words lying between you both. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. |
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#4
Jun 28, 2007, 11:04 AM
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Thanks for your response, mouse.
No, I wasn't trying to elicit sympathy from my pdoc... I don't make suicidal gestures; this was the first attempt in 8 years, and it had to do with my level of depression and hopelessness. I have Bipolar I disorder, but was only on 5 mg Abilify (plus anti-depressants) as a mood stabilizer. The other pdoc thought I should have been on at least 15 mg. But that's irrelevent, I guess... I know "kick him to the curb" doesn't sound very human, but I feel hurt and angry. Maybe I'm being unfair... I appreciate your input. |
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#5
Jun 28, 2007, 11:07 AM
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Thanks for your thoughts, Dooney.
I haven't really made up my mind because I'm not going to act on hurt and angry impulses. I may feel less strongly about this after a few days have gone by. This happened yesterday; I'm still raw. It kind of sounds like people think I'm being unfair to my current pdoc? Maybe this sounds like manipulation, or something. 
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#6
Jun 28, 2007, 11:09 AM
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Cheri, I am new here and don't know your story. I just want to say that I am so sorry for the incredible pain that led you to your attempt. I am so glad you survived.
As for your pdoc, nine years is a lot of time invested in a relationship. I think it is worth discussing with him why he reacted the way he did and how it made you feel. But I would caution that you should do so only if you feel you have the strength right now, which you may not. Or, you could write him a letter and ask for a response asking for some closure. I am glad you met someone else you feel you can have a working relationship. I have found, 6 pdocs later!, that skill and compassion in a pdoc is a rare combination. Best of luck on your road to recovery.
__________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. -- Japanese Proverb |
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#7
Jun 28, 2007, 11:10 AM
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Thanks for your words of comfort, Carmee. I appreciate your response.
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#8
Jun 28, 2007, 11:11 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cheri said: It kind of sounds like people think I'm being unfair to my current pdoc? Maybe this sounds like manipulation, or something. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> My goodness, I don't think you sound unfair at all!! I would be devastated.
__________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. -- Japanese Proverb |
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#9
Jun 28, 2007, 11:13 AM
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Cheri
It wasn't my intention to lecture you or make you feel bad sorry it came across that way. I just wanted to be what I thought was supportive towards what you wanted. Sorry I made you feel bad. 
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#10
Jun 28, 2007, 11:18 AM
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Dooney, you didn't make me feel bad; I'm sorry if my response made you feel bad.
I just feel really shaky right now, and maybe my post came across wrong. Maybe I need to spend more time reflecting on the situation and talk to my pdoc further. |
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#11
Jun 28, 2007, 11:26 AM
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Cheri, If medication was wrong, then yes that is a reason to feel unsure with pdoc. You hadn't mentioned that in your first post.
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#12
Jun 28, 2007, 07:21 PM
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Hmmmm. I was less concerned about the medication than I was about the appointment in general. Pdocs can differ in their medication strategies, so I'm not sure mine had the medication wrong (in a negligent way) so much as saw it from a different perspective than the hospital pdoc.
Now I'm defending him. Figures. 
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#13
Jul 02, 2007, 10:30 PM
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Cheri,
What did you decide to do? Have you spoken with your pdoc? How are you?
__________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. -- Japanese Proverb |
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#14
Jul 03, 2007, 10:23 AM
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I'm doing a lot better, Caramee. Thanks for asking.
 My feelings are less intense about the situation than they were when it first happened, so I think I'm going to keep my next appointment (3 weeks away) and talk with my pdoc about it. I guess my final decision will depend on how the meeting goes, but right now I'm inclined to stick with him. We have had a good relationship for most of the 9 years, but have hit the occasional rough patch before, too. Maybe that's normal? |
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