[itjustis]

My sessions are due to end in June. I know it's coming but I've tried to ignore it. My T brought it up today because she knows I need to acknowledge it and work up to it.
But in all honesty I'm not so sure I can cope with transitioning out of therapy because of the progress I've made so far and the connection I've made with T.
I'm just wondering if anyone out there has had a positive relationship with their T and what their experience of coming out of therapy is?
Is there anything that I can do to help me through the process? Anything my T could do?
I'd really appreciate your stories as I feel pretty sad when I think about it!

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[Elkino]

Hi itjustis,

I don't really have any experience with this, but I do understand that this must be a hard time. Change is never easy, I suppose.

I think that I would see it as a very long break. Trying to focus on the things you normally do in between sessions and the work you did that brought you the progress you've made so far.
I think that for me, personally, the thing that helped me the most in therapy is some kind of accountability. Having a T who'd expect things from me and who'd push me to always improve and work on myself. So I think it could be helpful to find someone besides your T who could do this for you. Someone you can talk to and who can help you reach your goals. Maybe a kind of 'mentor', someone you think you can learn something from.

One question though: is it really not possible to continue with your T and to work on this a bit more before you 'take off'? It seems like you could benefit from that as you don't seem to feel ready for this yet.

Anyway, I'd encourage you to see it for what it is and trying not to ignore it. So that you can make the most out of these last couple of sessions, while working on some closure. I know it will be difficult though.
And, if possible, maybe you could talk to your T about maybe being allowed to contact your T after your sessions are due. Even if it's just a short email from time to time. Do you think it would be an option? I guess it could give you a more secure feeling for a while, until you move on to something else.

Wishing you the best of luck!

[feralkittymom]

I had a positive relationship with my T and a positive ending despite it being unplanned. That doesn't mean it wasn't painful: but the pain was the natural pain of separating from a relationship I valued, but that's not a bad thing. The most helpful thing my T did was to encourage me--push me--to give voice to the pain and any other thoughts/feelings I had because he didn't want me to be burdened by carrying them forward.

And the need to accept that there may be a grieving process for a time after therapy ends, whether or not contact is continued, because the experience is over. And to make room for the possibility of joy, too: honor the successes, big and small, of flying solo.

My 12 week program is coming to an end. I've 2 sessions left. My therapist has begun to prepare me. I have been armed with ongoing homework and strategies. She also asked me to make a list of items to put on the 'agenda' for the next session to address before the last. I do feel sad in a way. Not so much about missing my therapist persay, but the routine seeing her each week has structured my life. I know I will feel somewhat lost without it.

[Coco3]

Last year I said goodbye to my T. It's been hard, but I'm doing fine now. Time does heal, please keep that in mind.

What helped me, was to talk about it with my T. We talked a lot about how ending therapy made me feel and how I would want to say goodbye. We had a beautiful last session where we looked back on everything that had happened, I thanked him and gave him a present, and we hugged. We had never hugged before, so I was a little afraid to ask, but I'm very glad I did. It was healing to talk to my T about our goodbye and also the last session itself was healing. I think having the chance to say goodbye properly, helps you go through the process.

After therapy ended, I went through a rough time. I was heartbroken, it hurt so much. I talked to my friends about it, I wrote in my diary, I allowed myself to feel sad, lots of self-soothing, I visited these forums a lot and I even chatted online with professionals. Eventually over time, it got better. I don't think I'll ever be completely over him, since he has done so much for me, but I think that's okay. It's been a life changing event.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Elkino

Hi itjustis,


I don't really have any experience with this, but I do understand that this must be a hard time. Change is never easy, I suppose.


I think that I would see it as a very long break. Trying to focus on the things you normally do in between sessions and the work you did that brought you the progress you've made so far.

I think that for me, personally, the thing that helped me the most in therapy is some kind of accountability. Having a T who'd expect things from me and who'd push me to always improve and work on myself. So I think it could be helpful to find someone besides your T who could do this for you. Someone you can talk to and who can help you reach your goals. Maybe a kind of 'mentor', someone you think you can learn something from.


One question though: is it really not possible to continue with your T and to work on this a bit more before you 'take off'? It seems like you could benefit from that as you don't seem to feel ready for this yet.


Anyway, I'd encourage you to see it for what it is and trying not to ignore it. So that you can make the most out of these last couple of sessions, while working on some closure. I know it will be difficult though.

And, if possible, maybe you could talk to your T about maybe being allowed to contact your T after your sessions are due. Even if it's just a short email from time to time. Do you think it would be an option? I guess it could give you a more secure feeling for a while, until you move on to something else.


Wishing you the best of luck!

The organisation T works at closes for the summer so I'm unsure if she works elsewhere over the summer period but I can certainly ask.
I have her work mobile number and can text when I need to, but I'm guessing that's because I'm currently her client.

She has talked about how ex clients check in with her via email from time to time to tell of their progress because she really does care about her clients.

I'm going to discuss this transition at the next couple of appointments and see what she says.

I struggle with feeling uncared for and abandoned due to childhood issues which T knows all about. That's why I think she mentioned it to prepare me.


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[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Coco3

Last year I said goodbye to my T. It's been hard, but I'm doing fine now. Time does heal, please keep that in mind.

What helped me, was to talk about it with my T. We talked a lot about how ending therapy made me feel and how I would want to say goodbye. We had a beautiful last session where we looked back on everything that had happened, I thanked him and gave him a present, and we hugged. We had never hugged before, so I was a little afraid to ask, but I'm very glad I did. It was healing to talk to my T about our goodbye and also the last session itself was healing. I think having the chance to say goodbye properly, helps you go through the process.

After therapy ended, I went through a rough time. I was heartbroken, it hurt so much. I talked to my friends about it, I wrote in my diary, I allowed myself to feel sad, lots of self-soothing, I visited these forums a lot and I even chatted online with professionals. Eventually over time, it got better. I don't think I'll ever be completely over him, since he has done so much for me, but I think that's okay. It's been a life changing event.

I'm sorry you went through that. But it's good to hear that you've come through it, it gives me some hope!
Therapy is so difficult anyway, but knowing it'll soon be ending is such a sad feeling.
My T has done so much for me too and giving it up will be difficult.
I'm going to talk to her about my feelings of it ending and see what we can do to lessen the pain and grief.

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[itjustis]

Originally Posted by rcat

My 12 week program is coming to an end. I've 2 sessions left. My therapist has begun to prepare me. I have been armed with ongoing homework and strategies. She also asked me to make a list of items to put on the 'agenda' for the next session to address before the last. I do feel sad in a way. Not so much about missing my therapist persay, but the routine seeing her each week has structured my life. I know I will feel somewhat lost without it.

It's exactly that...missing the routine and an outlet for all your thoughts.
I hope you get through it. I'd like to hear how it goes for you

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