The Couch - Cent Dix (110): A Little Bit of Everything, A Whole Lotta Nothing

I think i double posted now. Good grief i think it's bedtime for me.

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H and I went on a junk food junket. We both decided we HAD to have cake. Went to the closest grocery store (more than 20 minutes away) and bought ice cream, cake, twinkies, cookies and ice cream cones. As we were heading to the check out, I said the clerks were going to think we were high and started giggling. H starts doing this silly, fake giggle and goes, why would they think that? And then we were both giggling like loons. When we got up to the checkout, H says, "act innocent." That made me laugh more. The clerk was looking at us funny so I informed him we were not high. H says, "way to play it innocent." My stomach hurts from laughing.

I am serioously struggling with thinking my T is a charlatan and a witchdoctor....oh, and an Easter Egg...

well couch i guess i better pull myself up by my bootstraps and bring my therapy to a close. my son confided in me this evening that he thinks he wants to try therapy. he said that he's discovering since he broke up with his girlfriend that he can feel after all, where he never had use for feelings before, and he doesn't know how to manage them, and he is also dealing with feeling feelings that he denied years ago when he went to middle school where he said he was tormented but he never told me because he didn't want me to worry , and he said all the feelings from back then are too much and he needs help with them now before he starts college. We can't afford two of us in therapy, so it's time for me to get out. I feel like the worst mom in the world. I didn't know he was having so much trouble. How could I not have known?! It is time for me to grow up, grow a pair, and be the mother I should have been all along for my son. I feel terrible, you guys. I'm not sure I know how to handle my own feelings right now. The way I've been not-myself the last couple days I suppose I must have intuited something going on with my family, and that's why I've been so out of sorts. I just didn't know what it was until now. I'll talk with t about it tomorrow and hopefully she can help me figure this out.

ETA: I guess I should be fair to myself a little bit and remember that he was in middle school when I was going through the worst of my depression, that can't have been easy on him at all. and if he was having problems at school on top of worrying about me, well. Oh I feel so awful. I love him so much and would do absolutely anything for him.

Thank you! There are not words right now.

This really has been a hard week. Thank you for the hug! It is received with thanks.

Happy Easter!! God is good. He loves us more than we can imagine!!

I felt about Steel Magnolias like I did about Forrest Gump.
I don't remember most of either of them - mostly I sat there asking "why am I here?" I had read the book Forrest Gump by Winston Groom before seeing the movie. The book was a bit raunchier, wilder, and funnier than the sanitized hallmark-ish movie. I do like Sally Fields.

Could I have this? It looks like the perfect place to put myself for an indefinite time. Not logical...just saying. Can I?

Is that why you like the Flying Squirrel suit?

The movie "Hope Floats" have you seen that?

Because she was the flying nun? or is there a reference to forrest gump that I don't remember?

Not all the way through. I think I turned the dvd player off about 10 minutes into it.

It's a favorite of mine. Much truth of what life is. Harry Conack is not hard hard to admire!!

The first part is not really inviting. Entertain it. Its a great movie.

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Not really my kind of movie. I am more of a Heathers or Dr. Strangelove kind of movie watcher.

Yes because she was the flying nun.

Forgive me... What is Heathers and Dr. Strangelove? Please don't laugh at me. I don't know what you are referring to.

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They are movies.

She did have a fun hat as a nun. And I always add the s to then end of her name when it is just Sally Field.
Do you remember (or maybe it did not get that far) the tv show where she had esp? The Girl With Something Extra?
It was really bad.

No I don't think it got here, I do remember her in Gidget the eries but I don't think she played Gidget in the movies.

I don't know how but the puppy has managed to tie the car harness around the seatbelt in a knot. I will have to go down later and untie it.

Have spent the afternoon actively NOT thinking of T as an Easter Egg.

I fear I must eat the rest of the awful Anglicised Indian food. It is the blandest Indian I have had. But people around here are still struggling to let go of fish and chips.

My favorite line in Steel Magnolias: "He's such a gentleman, he probably moves the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it." Fake southern accent and all.

Good morning couch. I'm up far earlier than I planned, as usual for a weekend. Hopefully sleep will come again, sigh.

Hugs, Artemis if you want them.

Hey I'm not a mother but I was parentified and had to parent my younger brother. And here's some things which may or may not help.

1st, you did the best you could. I'm learning that for myself too regarding my younger brother who has depression. You were struggling and you did what you could, with your resources and capabilities at that time. I'm sorry that you didn't have an extended "chosen family" to help you and your son through a tremendously difficult time.

2nd, you've raised a son who trusts you immensely. Immensely. It is a GOOD thing that he confided to you that he needs help. My younger brother did that too, and honestly it means your son feels safe with you and trusts you.

You don't have to be a perfect mother, you just have to be "good enough" and from your posts, I honestly feel (as much as an internet stranger can!) that you're doing your dang best and that's what counts!

Sorry if I overstepped with my post.

Good morning couch..