That's how the session began.

I'm sure I had the Deer Caught in the Headlights look as I sat there waiting... for... omg what?!?

She's having surgery July 12th and will be out a month.

She said she was concerned because we have a short history and I often have a hard time after session. I often end up calling her. And she knows sometimes I call between visits and listen to her recorded phone message. Just last week I was afraid she was angry with me and had to call her when I got home to ask if she was (No), or I would have worried about it obsessively all week. How will I go a month?!

She said she could refer me to someone if I wanted her to. I asked if she WANTED me to see someone else. Actually we both chuckled at that 'cuz we both knew that question was coming... She just wants me to know I have options she said.

I don't want to see anyone else.

And I don't want her to go away.

And I don't want her to be sick.

And I'm so scared. For her. For me.

She offered a mini-session by phone if needed, after she's feeling a little better. I really want to do that and have that to hold on to and look forward to; I don't want it to be on an as-needed basis. I'm liable to make something a crisis to justify the need to talk to her.

What am I going to do?! A week was already too long!

I feel so selfish thinking of my needs and wants. And I am so worried about her and wondering what she's having done. I asked and she said "I've decided at this point not to disclose that.". I fully respect her privacy and boundaries and yet somehow it makes me worry more. It's so mysterious. I wonder if she's scared... I was sick nearly a year and had umpteen tests, procedures, surgeries done and then a big surgery last summer. Cancer kept getting mentioned, tested for, biopsied for.... It was very scary. So I wonder if she's scared. I wish I could comfort us both.

I listened and took in what she was saying, but I was in shock too. Not another T leaving! It is now sinking in and I'm missing her as if she has left me

I have one more session. I will be a wreck! I wonder if she'd let me borrow that stupid pillow I hate...

Please keep her in your thoughts, especially July 12th?

[jbug]

Good luck. I am glad she gave you the option of seeing someone else during the time she's away. You are strong and you can handle this.

Jbug

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( ECHOES )))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((( ECHOES' T ))))))))))))))))

[allthegirls6]

Im so very sorry to read this post. It seems to me that you both have the hardest time ahead and im going to be thinking of you

you sound so much like me... i often have to call after session to be sure he's not mad or upset with me.

having her gone for a medical reason has to be scarier than a vacation but when my T was on vacation there was one thing he did for me which helped so much... i asked him to leave me a voicemail. i asked him a question about something important to me and had him answer it on voicemail. i clung to that.

so maybe a voice mail which addresses your specific insecurities...like whether she is angry, or wants you to go away, etc. Having her voice to listen to might be very soothing

[MissCharlotte]

(((Echoes)))

This is awful news for both of you.

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What am I going to do?! A week was already too long!

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I think you answered this question yourself already:

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She offered a mini-session by phone if needed, after she's feeling a little better. I really want to do that and have that to hold on to and look forward to;

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I don't want it to be on an as-needed basis.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Can you ask her to call you just as soon as she is feeling up to it? Then maybe you can schedule a "mini" session over the phone.

It sounds as though your relationship with T is strong and you want this to work out. I am so sorry you will be without her for a month. It makes me feel really wussy crying about a week!!!

I called T's phone since he has been away and there is a message with the name of someone who is available to handle any emergencies while he is away. I can't imagine I would call this person for any reason whatsoever. It's all in the relationship with T, isn't it?

[Caramee]

There is nothing worse than the blindside. . .

I'm so sorry for you. I'm so sorry for her.

What about the pillow? Is it something you hold onto during session or look at while you speak? Why not ask? If it will comfort you while she's gone and help you stay connected, I think it would be worth asking for. And I'm sure she knows how hard it will be for you while she's away.

I don't think you're selfish at all -- you are genuinely concerned for her and of course you're going to miss her. Is there something you can do for her that you can share that you'll be doing that shows a sense of connection i.e., that you care for her but that you are going to miss her too? If you have some sort of spiritual practice, you could say that you will say prayers for her or you could light a candle for her each day. I've written to my T while he's away -- I didn't give it to him, but I did write every day as a way to stay connected. He has also given me things to hold onto of his while he's away.

I really feel for your predicament, and I'll send healing thoughts the way of you and and your T.

Take care.

I understand.

[sunrise]

ECHOES, I'm so sorry to hear your news. ((((hugs))))

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She offered a mini-session by phone if needed

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
That will be helpful. It will be hard to make it until then, but you can do it. Just keep her in your thoughts, and wish her the best, and when the month is over, she will still be there, and so will your relationship.

I will think of her on July 12.

echoes, you and I are in the same boat. I had my last session for 7 weeks last Friday. It seems an eternity doesn't it. T said I can e mail if I want to......I'll see. You will get through it though. Keep posting here. That's what I 'm going to do to try and ease the aloneness. Hugs to you, we can both get through it.

[lauren_helene]

(((Echoes))) I am so sorry to hear this. I would also be very concerned for her and want to know the details.

I am glad she handled the news in such a caring way. Alos, offering the mini session tells me that she values the work you are both doing.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts.

[gardenergirl]

Echoes,
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I can relate. My T just had surgery, and we won't get to meet for two more weeks. It will be four weeks off in total. While I understand the situation, it's also really hard, disappointing, sad, frustrating, scary, lonely, etc. And of course I worry about him, too. It's really hard not knowing how he came through. I asked him what he was having done, and he told me. I kind of wish I hadn't asked, though I can understand the worry and curiosity of not knowing, too. It's just a crappy situation all around.

I hope the time goes by quickly. I think it's great that you reached out for support here.

Take care,

gg

[Nikki2000]

(((((Echoes)))))

i am so sorry to hear this. i cant imagine how difficult it must feel. i hope very much that everything works out ok for you both.

(((( everyone ))))

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words! Your kindness makes me feel so good.



ECHOES

[SecretGarden]

I understand Echoes. That can seem like forever. I am glad that you may be able to talk to her or have a mini session. I know you will do o.k. Echoes and we will be here to support you as well. Take care....

I agree that I would want more info too... but that is not always forthcoming. ((Echoes))

Thank you for your kindness and understanding.

(((( SecretGarden )))))

Ugh, I'm just catching up on all the posts... and it hurts so much to read this, Echoes. That's me, standing in the rain, sad for you. You will make it though, I know you will. Even if it feels like you won't. We will help.

Thanks pink.

I find myself feeling so lonely already. And worrying about her. She's a wonderful person and I want her to be okay.

And I'm selfish, I don't want to be without her.

I have a ton of psych books to read that I bought recently thanks to the ease of point and click and Amazon.com.

And I am shopping for a car this week. I have not had a car in 4 years. One of the good things about all this is that when T had to cancel a recent session because of her medical appointment, she offered several evening appointments in place of the cancelled one. I can't get there by bus in the evenings. However, I love evening appointments! So, when I have a car and when she returns, I will switch to an evening appointment.

I'm still scared and sad and anxiety is sky-high. A month just seems like an eternity, a lonely eternity. I hope she'll agree to a scheduled phone-session instead of an as-needed one... yet I don't want to be an intrusion on her recovery time.

So, last 2 T's end up with healht issues.... maybe I make them sick!?! jk

Thanks for being here for me, pink, and everyone.

[Perna]

You didn't make your Ts sick. . . :-) Oh to have that power when we're angry at them, especially for "leaving" us LOL.

I've always been comforted by one of my best friends from high school who is a psychiatric social worker for the State of Georgia and does therapy. She is a breast cancer survivor! She was telling me about doing therapy and having such a health issue (and having to go to her own therapist!) and it just helped me see the whole picture better so when my T (or me!) had health problems over the years (we say one another 9 years) it didn't feel so scary.

I remember the first time my T got sick (before my girlfriend got cancer), she went home to her native country and got some sort of parasite and calmly told me about it when I asked (it was in her arm and her arm was bandaged) and it just seemed so "exotic" and I thought she was going to die! That was in about year 2 or 3 of our 18 year relationship (27 if you count the 9 years when I didn't see her between "bouts" of therapy :-)

But I know the lonely, don't know what to tell you about that. I'm glad you have 1 or 2 other things you're working on. That is what helps me most too, having other things to attend to. I hope the time before you see her again goes quickly for you.