where do I go?
4 therapists...no luck..
I'm 17..whens it end?
Money...where's the love?
I'm off track......
To find barely...anyway out.....
Agree or understand? Is there a differernce...
No hand shake or hug...no goodbye....
Just a card...
7-11-07....another wasted day?
I thought I had found...
A path...but lied to myself.....
all over again.......

[Perna]

Moonkin, so sorry you've having trouble in a lot of directions it looks like. When I didn't know where to turn, lots of things seemed blocked, I turned to books. Hit the local library (I was in my late-20s and hit the Children's Room of my library!) and see if you can find a few authors who can tide you over until a few more things change and you can see your way to therapy or love or some other helpful face-to-face experience.

Keep going back.

Therapy isn't luck, it's commitment and work.

It's also pleasant and comforting.

But only if you go.

And keep going.

(( Moonkin ))

Hey Moonkin. Sorry you are having a rough time. I always say this, and maybe people get tired of it, but I'll say it again.... therapy is a relationship. Like any other, you have to find someone you click and connect with. There is nothing wrong with going through a number of therapists to find "the one." Frustrating, I know. Just think about the reasons why it didn't work with these former therapists. Like Echoes said, it's work. What are some reasons it didn't work out with these former Ts? When I was 17, I had one therapist, but I had gone through a number of pdocs. Stay motivated for treatment.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Hey Moonkin. Sorry you are having a rough time. I always say this, and maybe people get tired of it, but I'll say it again.... therapy is a relationship. Like any other, you have to find someone you click and connect with. There is nothing wrong with going through a number of therapists to find "the one." Frustrating, I know. Just think about the reasons why it didn't work with these former therapists. Like Echoes said, it's work. What are some reasons it didn't work out with these former Ts? When I was 17, I had one therapist, but I had gone through a number of pdocs. Stay motivated for treatment.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks for the reply..My first T who I saw for a year and some months was a great man, but never seemed to hit the nail on the head so to speak..he was my first so I didnt mind much. I then saw a female therapist who saw me for 4 visits and gave up....basicly she recommended me another male therapist.. I really clicked with him..but he left.......now I'm on my 4th therapist who I'm afarid....I mean she after 1 visit asked to see my poetry....I dont feel right I feel I need to trust her...what if she reads it and sends me in some hospital thinking im crazy? ......plz reply im scared

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Moonkin said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Hey Moonkin. Sorry you are having a rough time. I always say this, and maybe people get tired of it, but I'll say it again.... therapy is a relationship. Like any other, you have to find someone you click and connect with. There is nothing wrong with going through a number of therapists to find "the one." Frustrating, I know. Just think about the reasons why it didn't work with these former therapists. Like Echoes said, it's work. What are some reasons it didn't work out with these former Ts? When I was 17, I had one therapist, but I had gone through a number of pdocs. Stay motivated for treatment.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks for the reply..My first T who I saw for a year and some months was a great man, but never seemed to hit the nail on the head so to speak..he was my first so I didnt mind much. I then saw a female therapist who saw me for 4 visits and gave up....basicly she recommended me another male therapist.. I really clicked with him..but he left.......now I'm on my 4th therapist who I'm afarid....I mean she after 1 visit asked to see my poetry....I dont feel right I feel I need to trust her...what if she reads it and sends me in some hospital thinking im crazy? ......plz reply im scared

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

If she sends you to the hospital for seeing your poems and thinking your crazy then I'll see ya there because I gave my therapist 16 pages of poetry last session, LOL... I think you are going to be ok!! I hate the fact that you have had so much instability in your treatment, that's gotta hurt. If you don't feel comfortable giving your new T those poems, then don't... really... maybe just explain to her that you need to build up the relationship before sharing something so intense. It took me almost 2 yrs. before I gave my T the poems... Why are you scared, Moon? Let me know.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Moonkin said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Hey Moonkin. Sorry you are having a rough time. I always say this, and maybe people get tired of it, but I'll say it again.... therapy is a relationship. Like any other, you have to find someone you click and connect with. There is nothing wrong with going through a number of therapists to find "the one." Frustrating, I know. Just think about the reasons why it didn't work with these former therapists. Like Echoes said, it's work. What are some reasons it didn't work out with these former Ts? When I was 17, I had one therapist, but I had gone through a number of pdocs. Stay motivated for treatment.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks for the reply..My first T who I saw for a year and some months was a great man, but never seemed to hit the nail on the head so to speak..he was my first so I didnt mind much. I then saw a female therapist who saw me for 4 visits and gave up....basicly she recommended me another male therapist.. I really clicked with him..but he left.......now I'm on my 4th therapist who I'm afarid....I mean she after 1 visit asked to see my poetry....I dont feel right I feel I need to trust her...what if she reads it and sends me in some hospital thinking im crazy? ......plz reply im scared

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

If she sends you to the hospital for seeing your poems and thinking your crazy then I'll see ya there because I gave my therapist 16 pages of poetry last session, LOL... I think you are going to be ok!! I hate the fact that you have had so much instability in your treatment, that's gotta hurt. If you don't feel comfortable giving your new T those poems, then don't... really... maybe just explain to her that you need to build up the relationship before sharing something so intense. It took me almost 2 yrs. before I gave my T the poems... Why are you scared, Moon? Let me know.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Pink,...thank you so much...your really a nice person. I'm so scared because I'm 17 despite the hormones..its a time I should be happy...not only that but since a child very small I was depressed...its unknown...my family has a history but...that doesn't solve the equation....I've been on so many meds its not even funny...not to mention all the "named brands"....I dunno whats left...a therapist...such a good idea...I just dont see it helping...but I'm gonna keep fighting..and keep TRYING to be confident....I am so so scared...I cry so often...I feel my bodies bleeding inside out in tears.....

[muse]

((((((((((((((((((Moonkin))))))))))))))))))))
Hey, you... I'm so sorry you're going through so much hurt, and have been for so long. Still, the fact that you said, "I'm gonna keep fighting... and keeping TRYING to be confident" tells me that, so long as you always come back to that attitude, YOU WILL BE ALL RIGHT!!! It makes me so happy to hear you say that, it really, truly does.

I'm going to my first T in a couple of days, and I'm pretty scared myself. I can see why you are, too--it's like, "this is number four, if THIS doesn't help, am I doomed to this forever?" I can't give you an answer, but give this therapist a chance, even if you don't show her your poetry. If you never try you never know, right?

I'm going on seventeen too, and you have all my sympathy. The age we're at is so freaking HARD--there's so much pressure on us each and every day, and honestly, I think you need to cut yourself some slack. you've been working so hard at "fixing" yourself for so long, and you're continuing even through setbacks. That's HUGE!! So give yourself a break every now and then.

I know this wasn't very helpful in terms of the question you asked, but basically you have all my hope, love and support!!!
Luck&Love,
~muse

Awww, Moon. I felt so similar to you when I was 17. You know what? It might not seem as though a therapist is helping... but if you keep going, and then you look back in retrospect, you will see that it did. What I'm trying to say is that when you're in that state it is very difficult to take a step back and see if something is working. But if you work hard and then you are able to step back in a couple of months, or even a year, you will see the improvements. I have been with my therapist for almost two years now and it wasn't until the first year passed that I was able to step back and say... ooohhhh... now I get it! I remember when I was 17... That it was so hard... because things are still so new... you need to grow into your understanding of therapy... but you will get it... you just have to keep working. I remember when I was 17 and all my friends were having fun, going out, thinking about prom, graduating, etc... I couldn't leave the house because of my panic attacks and depression. I totally understand what you're going through Moon.