APA article: "Termination and abandonment: A key ethical distinction"

You were told not to talk about your own personal experience? That's horrid. Like you said you are upset that your therapist said or did ( insert something inappropriate), and you were told not to post about it ? I've never seen anything like this on the forum. That should not be allowed!!!! Did you report it?

See posts #82 and #87 in this thread.

I don't see anyone criticizing others' personal therapy experiences in post 82 or 87 or any other ones. Posts that 82 and 87 are replying to don't mention personal experiences either? I did see posts that state that most therapists and bad and most therapy is harmful.

But that's different as one couldn't possibly experience "most" therapy. When people share bad experiences others are very understanding and supportive. At least that's how I see it.

These are different things. It is like one thing to post that they are mistreated by abusive men and the other to state that most men are abusive. My brother once had really bad dentist. He was awful. Damaged his tooth etc there are probably other bad dentists out there as in every profession, but that's different than stating most dentists suck and people should avoid them as a plague.

Most certainly people are allowed to post general comments about anything they want but then others are within their rights to point out that these are generalizations and blanket statements.

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You don't see those two posts as suggestions to get lost, if indirectly? Wow.

People generalize here all the time about therapy being fundamentally good or legit. It is only the reverse generalization that people object to.

eta: The second post is also blatantly hostile.

I'm not sure. I think people speak of their own experiences, but maybe i just am not looking for it.

I only see few people generalizing about therapy being bad. Most people share specific experiences both good and bad. Sure everybody on occasion makes generalizations, no one is perfect ( especially when we are upset or hurt by something) but I don't see too many people being consistent in their generalizations . Only a few. Again that's fine, but objecting to it is fine as well

I saw a post that you are referring to as a reply to unkind post about "compulsive" posting.

Right. The website is called psych central. you all act like youre on "psych sucks central dot com". Thats what the first post says / asks.

A lot of people find your all posts unsupportive and also blatantly hostile. They posted here today saying so. sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander.

Some therapists do suck. People report here sometimes that their own therapist doesn't suck. If the therapist you hire doesn't suck - good for you. If someone wants to know if sucky therapy is because they are failing or because the therapist is - I am glad to know that some of us are willing to not blame the client. Others seem to want to blame the client. There are threads that go all sorts of different ways on this.
Sometimes it seems to me like this is psychotherapists are never wrong central.com or therapy will benefit everyone and if it doesn't blame the client central. com - even as it appears to ex hankster as
psych sucks central dot com. I am sure there are other psych _____________.com that we could come up with (although I doubt the rules allow for such a thread). And I had to stop before I got carried away with examples because making up the names was so fun.

It really is possible to disagree and still get along. And it is interesting how much passion this one article brought out.

I find Budfox's posts insightful and supportive.

I acknowledged that was inappropriate language. Why are you troubled by this post but not the ones I was replying to, which are insulting and attacking? Are we going to play games here or be honest with each other?

I post sometimes provocative and inflammatory things about the therapy system. But not about people here (I hope I haven't). I accept that there will be blowback. But there have been plenty of times where the responses have crossed the line, including this thread. Hostility toward the few posters here who are critical of therapy is consistent but rarely acknowledged.

Anyone here could find themselves on the outside looking in. Serious betrayal in therapy is paradigm-setting stuff. I wonder what others here would do if in the middle of intense transference, attachment, vulnerability, crisis, etc your T bailed on you? Perhaps you'd come here and rage about it too? I previously had nothing bad to say about therapy, was committed to working hard at it, took risks, etc. With my last T i was something of a model client, and she knows it, totally undeserving of what she pulled.

A quote about therapy in the context of PTSD and extreme abandonment fears, an ironic statement on the absurdity of abandonment in therapy:

"The therapeutic alliance is a contract between patient and therapist, which provides a safe environment where abandonment is not an option."

Yes. I have.

That's how I feel too! This is a very lively thread. Some people are bystanders, some people are open and vocal. Nothing wrong with either, but it's often the most vocal, the protesters throughout history, who end up being the ones to bring on positive change to things or the world.

I think Budfox is doing some productive grieving, so why not let him be? I think people can start their own positive therapy threads. In fact, the people who complain most often don't seem to be those who make themselves vulnerable, putting themselves out there, baring their soul and wounds to the forum by starting their own threads, open to the feedback, criticism, and disagreement of hundreds.

How would you like it if you had a really bad fear of snakes that affected your everyday life and wanted to discuss it here on a MH forum until you were ready to 'move past it', and people kept telling you to quit saying all snakes are bad, I love my pet snake! C'mon, just let people be themselves.

I just want to say, I was not trying to insult or attack any poster. All I am saying is that I get that harm can be done to clients rather easily, and maybe there is too much on client blame (personally, i don't blame clients for failures of therapy...), just that when you guys post things like "we should abolish the whole system," or "therapists are all a bunch of quacks" (paraphrased)...it puts people on the defensive.

If you say "I was seriously harmed by therapy, and feel like the whole system should be abolished based on my experiences," I think more people would be more understanding of that statement. But once again, I am only speaking for me.

The only problem with this is that people with pet snakes have real feelings for their snake, so when they hear "all snakes are bad," it most likely hits a nerve because their snake is "loving" (can snakes be loving? i personally do not like them!). But if someone who had a major fear of snakes, came on the forum and said "I am TERRIFIED of snakes, and feel like all snakes are out to get me, help," i think there would be more support than, "All snakes are awful creatures that need to be exterminated from the earth."

I am not troubled by that post at all. I was just replying to you. You said someone's post was hostile and I went back and checked and noticed it was a reply to yours.

What would I do if my t did something inappropriate? Or terminated me all of a sudden without rhyme or reason and no referral and no warning and while I am in crisis? Sure I'd come here and talk and vent about it! I complained that my t answered phone calls during my session! No one ever said there shouldn't be any sharing of bad experiences! Plenty of posters have bad experiences and come vent here and people are supportive. I don't see anyone objecting to that. I am livid when people are abused and mistreated by a therapist or by anyone in fact.

No, nobody posted me saying anything of the sort!

I haven't gotten involved in this thread but I do generally support Budfox, missbella, and puzzle_bug. And am very glad to see their posts, even when I don't agree entirely with everything they say.

Of course that would make a difference.
I hope no one is saying that about therapists, that would be awful.

I guess I should add-everyone knows what BudFox is going to say, to some extent.
Just like Lola's posts-I can pretty much predict how she will respond to every post. (not picking on you Lola, it's just that you are consistent and post a lot)

So, why not just let people be? ok, I will let you be

Why awful? I am serious.
Shakespeare had a character, a henchman say "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." Henry VI, Part 2
And people are not all going "poor lawyers"

And most I have seen who quote it are not using in the way a lot of scholars and most well read lawyers interpret it - in context:
"Shakespeare's point was to portray lawyers as the guardians of the rule of law who stand in the way of a fanatical mob."

Singling out one type of person for extermination gives me chills I guess.
Yeah, there are a lot of lawyer jokes. Interesting way to look at it I suppose. People seem accepting about that, probably not much different.

Sometimes I think-if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! I mean join each other here, celebrate our differences and turn them into something positive.

I'm in favor of the live and let live attitude. Some people had crap experiences and need to share. Some people had great experiences and need to share. I've had both, but my current one is great. I find the defensiveness around therapists kind of confusing, as I don't see how someone else describing their bad experience and perhaps even over generalizing has anything at all to do with my own therapy, or that of anyone else.

When people have had traumatic experiences, it runs really deep. I think it's understandable some people might need to talk about it, and I feel like giving people who have suffered a lot of space around that suffering is a compassionate thing to do, even if I don't relate to every element of that experience.

But I am not sure people are saying "Oh, poor therapists!" I am not, at least. I realize that there are terrible, abusive T's out there; there are T's who think they have good intentions, but eff up the client anyway....and many things in between.

On a random sidenote: I have a friend who had an AWFUL experience with a lawyer. He was arrested because he was wasted and saw two policeman whom he thought was harassing a young woman, so he walked up to the police and waslike "leave her alone!" They arrested him for drunk and disorderly. Anyway, he calls up this lawyer that he got from a friend, and she seemed fine the one or two times he met with her.

I wish I remember all the details of what set him off about his lawyer, but he concluded by her behavior at his trial, and what he researched her cases after, was that she was a man-hating you-know-what. From that conclusion, he truly believes all woman lawyers have that same belief. I still can't actually believe that he truly feels this way because he is very open-minded and introspective in many areas of life.

What I am trying to get at is that he had one really bad experience with a lawyer and concluded that all (woman) lawyers are awful, man-hating beehotches. I was appalled and explained that just because you had one awful experience, doesn't mean that every woman lawyer you come across will behave as terribly as she did.

My primary beef with therapy profession is that they seem not interested in learning from their mistakes, as in: "We hurt people? -- let's get some good information on that and see how we can improve."

I'm critical of them because I feel, from my own experience, that many didn't know what they were doing and I got hurt more than I knew that I could going into therapy. But I'm definitely not interested in anybody exterminating them. I needed -- may still need -- help of some sort.

It happens to lawyers (and other professions). I don't take it personally. I don't feel threatened by it. I don't actually believe most therapists care that I think most of them are goofy quacks who don't do anything real. My belief about their profession has no bearing on them whatsoever.

Thank you. That is one of the most kind and compassionate things I have ever seen here. It is a very deep grief for me. I have mostly resolved it, but it really hurt a lot to be abandoned by the therapist.