The Couch 115: Corduroy Pillows Are Making Headlines!

The dogs are driving me mad. I have noooooooooooo idea what they want.

Do they just want to snuggle? My pup dribes me mad sometimes I go through all the options and he just wants to watch tv with me.

Gesundheit!

If you contacted a T to find out i they worked with a certain disorder and they got back to you and said yes and you asked what theoretical models and modalities they worked from and they responded with just the general ones not any specific to the disorder, would you automatically dismiss them or ask again for the specific response? This exchange is via a receptionist btw

The little one, that's what she wants (figured it out), to be held. The sir I have noooooooooooo clue.

IKE Dont you dare leave with out saying hi! ITs BPA can't remember if i told you before

Mine works with my disorder but doesn't advertise it. She doesn't pull from any specific modality as things are always changing with me I'm glad that she doesn't just use one or the most common, etc. I'm glad she's flexible and able to give me what I need and think outside of the box.

Thanks I'm just trying to see if they is anyone who has worked with it in my town, more out of interest and future reference.

"Which general models and modalities do you use?"

I am SO F!@$king TIRED of Christians in my nation telling LGB and T people that we can turn straight / live aligned to our biological sex.

"Coming out is not easy. Coming home is worth it" as the tagline too.

I agree QuietMind. People are so silly when they say people can just "turn straight" if they're not.

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Yeah. When my parents found out about my then-girlfriend (this was many years ago, waaaay before I even knew my h), my mother was SO absolutely hateful, (Ms"Holier-than-Thou-because-I-go-to-church-every- Sunday") she wrote me a scathing hate-letter that included how glad she was that HER parents were dead because "this would have killed them if they were still alive" and how I needed to just decide to be normal and all kinds of other lovely stuff if I wanted to remain a member of the family. I wish I'd been stronger in myself back then. Of course, I might not have my son now either. So six of one, half-dozen of the other at this point I guess. But I betcha if I'd been able to be stronger in myself, I wouldn't have had to spend the past going on 5 years in therapy, either!! (No offense, t, you know I love you and I'm thankful for the work we've done together) but at the same time - it might have been nice to NOT need therapy in the first place. I am rambling. I'll stop now.

Smh over people hating those who are different from 'the norm' and trying to make others conform. Conforming sucks. Embrace difference!

G-d dang, Artemis, your mother sounds absolutely hateful.
My T (clinical psych) is straight, but I don't think she's trained in LGBT issues...
My psychiatrist believes in conversion therapy.

I'm in the closet as I'm bi/pansexual. My parents are LGBTQphobic and very conservative Christian... so many people tell me stuff like "I was a lesbian once but I turned straight" (no kidding), I have a homophobic work environment...

I just am really tired...

Your psychiatrist believes in conversion therapy??? Yeesh.

That sucks that your pdoc is for conversion therapy and that your work place is homophobic. I live in a pretty liberal place, and LGBT stuff is generally well received and accepted. I feel lucky that I don't have to deal with people who are against it very often. I'm sorry that you do.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I consider myself bi, although I haven't been with a woman in a very long time (been married 19 years) but y'know it's still very much a part of who I am... hubby knows, and is actually pretty ok about it as sometimes he'll tease me by pointing out a beautiful woman and say "check HER out!" or something.

I told t a long time ago - it was really hard for me to tell her, it was within the first 6 months I was seeing her I think, but she is great about it - I even shared with her a very very personal poem I wrote to J who was my first love.... and she thought it was so beautiful... she is straight, but I am pretty sure she is trained in LGBT issues, she has that as one of her specialties on her online profile. Anyway she's been absolutely great when I've needed to talk about it.

I am so grateful that our very own couch is a safe place to talk about this!

I feel like sharing the poem I wrote the other night, the one about the picture in t's office. This was one of those that just flowed out of me and I wasn't even aware of writing part of it, when I read it after, I was like I wrote that? I love it when that happens:

Carefully, slowly, she smooths each hair
away from her face
before placing the mask once again
over who she really is.

She waits a moment before opening her eyes
to give the world a chance to settle again
even secretly knowing it is never she
who is off balance

but the world she views from within.
Her silent mind and wild heart
know, they both know
that when she opens her eyes
still no one will be looking in.

But again she will watch the world,
sending out her love as she waits and hopes
to catch a glimmer of it coming back
to her.

And when night falls once again,
she'll remove the mask
ignoring the tear that lingers on her cheek
as she places it on her mirror-table…
because soon, she will escape once more
into her dreams.

Damn. I feel like I just bared my very soul...

I love your poem.

Thanks QM!

You definitely are bi. I really am a bit sad that since my SO is my first ever (and likely only ever) sexual partner, and we are monogamous, I might never ever get to explore my attraction to women, especially as I'm really a lot more attracted to women...

I'm really lucky that my SO (who is a cisgender heterosexual white male) is very understanding and accepting.

I often wonder if I would be happier in his Scandinavian nation where even the church is LGBT-affirming though of course I have reservations because I'm Asian and his mother believes in the racist stereotype of me potentially being a 'gold-digger'...and because the Scandinavian nation in question isn't as non-racist and inclusive as they're portrayed to be.

I told my Ts too, eventually. It was really hard for me. The first one was also about 6 months into therapy, but she asked some bi-ignorant questions ("How do you know if you've never been with a woman?") and I basically ended uo writing a timeline of my same-gender attractions.

She put in my chart that I am bisexual and that's how current T knows (they're colleagues).

I don't think T is trained in LGBT specific issues and I'm scared to see a counsellor in an LGBT organisation because I'm terrified of biphobia and it takes forever to build up trust... yet I'm frustrated that T doesn't sound LGBT-affirming, she's neutral I feel...

T told me she has LGB friends but that doesn't mean she's trained in LGB specific issues and while I "pass" for being heterosexual, I really struggle a lot with internalised homophobia due to how hateful my nation can be and I desperately wish T can help with that rather than just telling me "the bone of the issue is you don't accept yourself".

She means well but how the heck do I accept myself as a Queer Person of Colour when positive potrayals of LGBT people are censored in my nation and I've not found a home in local messageboards... I'm rambling, sorry.

Wow, you're so brave for showing your T such a personal poem!

I'm grateful too!

Aaaaand I'm behind on the couch again. Hugs/nods all 'round



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Are you feeling better?

Art, your poem is beautiful

QM,

I'm another bi woman who has never actually been with a woman. I am bi, I've known that since I was a little girl. It is me, I don't need somebody else to prove it to me.

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