[itjustis]

I keep jumping from feelings of 'I will be fine, I can do this, I'm not leaving forever' to utter despair, sadness and panic and 'how will I cope without T.'

This makes me frustrated and angry at myself because I sometimes feel like I've got this attachment under control then other times it creeps up on me and kicks me down.

I felt good over the weekend. Then on Monday my anxiety was quite bad; I wanted to text T but didn't, and Tuesday and Wednesday I've been feeling pretty down about leaving her. Then tomorrow I might feel good again.
I hate how one day you think you're ok then the next you're not really that ok at all.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thinking of you. I had a great T that turned unethical on me and absolutely shattered our therapeutic bond. It felt like a death. I truly mourned, cried, was depressed. Five years down the drain.

I've briefly tried three T's since but nothing clicked. I don't think I can trust again and the prospect of telling "my story" all over again would be expensive and unpleasant.

I am sorry. I totally hijacked your thread. I can delete if you like. I just got a stream of consciousness thinking after reading your post that I never want to make myself vulnerable again.

Sorry =[

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm having the same problem. My termination is in 10 months. I try to tell myself that 10 months is a long time and not to worry. But then I couldn't see my T this week and have had a really bad week, and all I want is my T. If I had to terminate now, I would have a breakdown! I don't know how I'm going to do it in 10 months. She tells me everything is going to be okay and I hold onto that phrase for dear life. I repeat it over and over...

[therapyishelping777]

Why do we get sooo attached ? ugh.. its strange.. I understand, its an intimate vulnerable professional relationship.. we are supposed to keep the right perspective but wow. gets hard to think about .

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I know how you are feeling. I have started with a new T and the horror stories about T's abandoning people terrify me. I feel attached to my new T and that is scaring me and making me want to run so I don't have to morn another T someday. This stuff is so confusing. I think its normal to be content with it and then want to run. Therapy is not for the weak of heart. Its tough work.

(((hugs)))

[rothfan6]

I know how that feels I hope your doing ok

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Thinking of you. I had a great T that turned unethical on me and absolutely shattered our therapeutic bond. It felt like a death. I truly mourned, cried, was depressed. Five years down the drain.

I've briefly tried three T's since but nothing clicked. I don't think I can trust again and the prospect of telling "my story" all over again would be expensive and unpleasant.

I am sorry. I totally hijacked your thread. I can delete if you like. I just got a stream of consciousness thinking after reading your post that I never want to make myself vulnerable again.

Sorry =[

Don't be sorry. Getting it out sometimes gives a little relief, if only for a short time.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience. My T has been great, our last session was very special and I'll never forget it.
I will post about it on here when I'm ready to share it, at the moment id like to keep it to myself.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I'm having the same problem. My termination is in 10 months. I try to tell myself that 10 months is a long time and not to worry. But then I couldn't see my T this week and have had a really bad week, and all I want is my T. If I had to terminate now, I would have a breakdown! I don't know how I'm going to do it in 10 months. She tells me everything is going to be okay and I hold onto that phrase for dear life. I repeat it over and over...

My T kept telling me over and over too that I will be ok. At first I didn't believe her because it was too painful to deal with and thought I would never get over it. But eventually I felt it starting to lift and believed her. I'm getting through it slowly.
It will get better, even if you can't see it right now.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by rothfan6

I know how that feels I hope your doing ok

Thank you. Very slowly getting there. Just got to trust that time heals

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by therapyishelping777

Why do we get sooo attached ? ugh.. its strange.. I understand, its an intimate vulnerable professional relationship.. we are supposed to keep the right perspective but wow. gets hard to think about .

I went to therapy for a crisis I was having- I got to grips with that and then my attachment slowly crept up before I realised what was happening, then I was stuck in it. Turns out that was a whole other issue I needed to deal with too.
It is very confusing but with a great T and talking about it more times than I can count I'm getting through each day by repeating what my T consistently said to me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

I know how you are feeling. I have started with a new T and the horror stories about T's abandoning people terrify me. I feel attached to my new T and that is scaring me and making me want to run so I don't have to morn another T someday. This stuff is so confusing. I think its normal to be content with it and then want to run. Therapy is not for the weak of heart. Its tough work.

It's the toughest thing I've ever done. At times I felt so vulnerable, exposed and in deep pain. But, if I had the chance to do it all again with the same T I would. I'm grateful to have met her
I think I said here before that I wouldn't do therapy again, but if I needed to I would but would look out for the signs of that pesky attachment.
Therapy has helped me enormously and I'm glad I did it, even though it caused me heartache and pain along the way.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by mrsassy

(((hugs)))

Thank you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm happy that things are going better for you. xo

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[therapyishelping777]

Said superwell itjustis. Ive been thinking about how hard this process is, I've always had these therapist who have been more like friends you shoot the breeze with, I never got anywhere, they gave me nothing.. it was "comfortable" not work, not regular,, then I got tired of that and tried Current T i've been working with for 5 months.. Wayyyy different.. things are coming up, uncomfortable, I'm learning and processing and things are coming to surface I want to just shove back down and its super exposing and vulnerable and hard.. but when i do tell T.. it is just a relief and help.. even though its difficult.. Its like I'm internalizing good and safe instead of all the crap from the past .. I do Too. think despite how hard and emotional it is ... its well worth it to go through with an amazing, equipped, compassionate therapist.. even though mine is a little distant.. he's there when I push through,, and safe. All the good ethics and boundaries, yet compassion.. Great balance..