Impact of Knowing Personal Info About Your T

I haven't gone back! I remain stalled, vacillating between being certain I can't ever face her again and being equally sure I can't live without her. I've texted with her briefly a couple of times and she is willing to see me again, but I haven't been able to summon the courage to face her. I think I want to-- eventually--but I want to go in well-prepared. That last appointment was a disaster, largely because she aggressively confronted me the instant I walked in the door and didn't let up for the entire session. I was so unprepared for her verbal assault (not saying I didn't have it coming, but still). I continue to obsess about the situation and think of all the things I want/need to say to her, but I still can't get it together to go back.

I think my reluctance is twofold: I'm terrified of being backed into a corner and forced to admit what I did and discuss why, and I'm also afraid she's going to try to get me to tell her everything I discovered--and then terminate me. If I'm going to end up terminated anyway, I'd just as soon leave her wondering how much I know and how I found out. (I know--it's all about leveling the playing field and grasping for power in the relationship.)

Anyway, that's the only update I have right now. Thanks for your input. I feel very unsupported right now; this forum is about all I've got as far as this situation goes.

Thank you so much for the update. Coincidentally, I was thinking about you and your situation last night and wondering what ever happened! I think that it's great that you've maintained some contact through text and I really hope that you will go work this through whenever you are ready. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Thank you! I will keep you posted!