[growlycat]

I just have to vent. I have never had such a hard time looking for a therapist who is the right fit for me. All I want is male therapist older than me who is either a Lpc or higher like a PhD and who does not practice Christian counseling. Is that too much to ask Texas?

I just got an email from another therapist I wanted to interview and he does not do weekend or after work hours at all. His colleagues do but one is a too-young woman and the other is a Christian counselor. God dammit This search is really making me angry. Where I live is a very populated part of the state I am not exactly out in tumbleweed country.

At least the Lpc therapist I met with this weekend has been my only viable option so far. See next post...

I could have told you not to move to Texas!!!

Can you adjust your schedule at work-go in early on Friday and leave at 2 or 3? That might give you more therapists to choose from.

Therapist shopping is not fun.

I live in Texas and have never had a problem finding a therapist who was not a Christian counselor. Are you talking about a therapist who does not incorporate religion into their therapy? That really shouldn't be that difficult to find. Or are you trying to find a therapist who is not a Christian? That could be a bigger problem, but all of my therapists have been Christians but none of them brought religion into my sessions unless I brought it up first.

[stopdog]

I think it was LolaCabanna who reported having the same trouble in Texas - finding ones who did not put religious affiliation in their blurbs or business cards etc.

It would be something I would not be comfortable with either - I don't care if a therapist follows some religion -but it would concern me if they felt a need to put it in their advertising or cards or blurbs etc.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think it was LolaCabanna who reported having the same trouble in Texas - finding ones who did not put religious affiliation in their blurbs or business cards etc.

It would be something I would not be comfortable with either - I don't care if a therapist follows some religion -but it would concern me if they felt a need to put it in their advertising or cards or blurbs etc.

However, what needs to be asked is if they necessarily actually do incorporate religion into their therapy or if that is just an advertising note for people who are looking for a Christian counselor. One is not necessarily the other.

[stopdog]

Perhaps- but I would not trust them not to incorporate it somehow or try to do so.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I live in Texas and have never had a problem finding a therapist who was not a Christian counselor. Are you talking about a therapist who does not incorporate religion into their therapy? That really shouldn't be that difficult to find. Or are you trying to find a therapist who is not a Christian? That could be a bigger problem, but all of my therapists have been Christians but none of them brought religion into my sessions unless I brought it up first.

I have more of a problem with outright Christian counsellors than people with private beliefs. However, many Christians would see my main problem as being an atheist. If I am not "saved" that person may see me as doomed until my religious status changed. I have looked up some therapists that were not Christian counsellors per se but touted it on their profiles or websites. If it was a friend or coworker I take no issue with their beliefs as long as it does not impinge on the rights and happiness of others. I need someone from a worldview that is not alien to mine.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Perhaps- but I would not trust them not to incorporate it somehow or try to do so.

Yes. This. Exactly! If they felt strongly enough to put it on the business card or website it is sure to come up. Often these therapists come from learning institutions that are highly suspect in my humble opinion.

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I just have to vent. I have never had such a hard time looking for a therapist who is the right fit for me. All I want is male therapist older than me who is either a Lpc or higher like a PhD and who does not practice Christian counseling. Is that too much to ask Texas?


I just got an email from another therapist I wanted to interview and he does not do weekend or after work hours at all. His colleagues do but one is a too-young woman and the other is a Christian counselor. God dammit This search is really making me angry. Where I live is a very populated part of the state I am not exactly out in tumbleweed country.


At least the Lpc therapist I met with this weekend has been my only viable option so far. See next post...

It depends where you live, I think. I live in DFW and the last T I was very religious. Have you check psychologytoday? They have profiles you can filter through.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[growlycat]

Thank you yes I've been using psychcentral and psych today's listings as well as leads from my last two therapists. Really surprised how difficult this is as DFW has been surprisingly diverse and relatively cosmopolitan (my east Coast @hole is showing. It ain't boston but it's better than I expected as far as the overall experience)

I know I know part of me knows that being a liberal atheist in Texas was going to be dicey. I should know better

Originally Posted by growlycat

I have more of a problem with outright Christian counsellors than people with private beliefs. However, many Christians would see my main problem as being an atheist. If I am not "saved" that person may see me as doomed until my religious status changed. I have looked up some therapists that we're not Christian counsellors per se but touted it on their profiles or websites. If it was a friend or coworker I take no issue with their beliefs as long as it does not impinge on the rights and happiness of others. I need someone from a worldview that is not alien to mine.

I've had two VERY personally religious therapists (one was as deacon in his church and one was a minister), but neither one of them EVER brought up religion -- ever. They were completely therapy-focused. My most recent therapist only brought religion up after I had brought it up. By the way,not all Christians work from the concept of "being saved". That's a particular focus of certain denominations (generally on the more fundamentalist end) but not all of them (I am of a denomination that doesn't speak in those terms). That's why I am saying that they may just advertise that way because, let's face it, this area of Texas is in the "Bible belt" and there are many people who look for a therapist who specifically does have a Christian background, but a Christian background doesn't necessarily mean because they advertise that way that they will pass judgment or bring it into their practice. You may just have to call or interview and ask very pointed questions about religion to see what response you get.

The only time I ran into it was at a particular therapy-group that absolutely did advertise themselves as Christian-based/focused therapy. I mean, they had a cross on their practice logo, etc. I'm a Christian, and I didn't like it either because it was not my Christian practice at all (we are a wide-ranging breed of religion -- as most religions are). I went into that one wary from the onset because generally if they say Christian-based/focused/directed, then they are probably rather fundamentalist. But I don't know of too many practices that are that religiously-focused in this area.

Originally Posted by growlycat

I know I know part of me knows that being a liberal atheist in Texas was going to be dicey. I should know better

Less and less so than it once was . . .

Question. Does your atheism come into discussion much in your therapy as a matter of discussion? I'm just wondering because my religion almost never comes up as a matter of discussion in therapy.

[stopdog]

This may seem crazy - but have you tried doing a search for lgbt therapists or lgbt friendly therapists? I just ran a quick search of dallas and those terms - and several therapists popped up and none of them had anything about religion in the blurbs that came up.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by stopdog

This may seem crazy - but have you tried doing a search for lgbt therapists or lgbt friendly therapists? I just ran a quick search of dallas and those terms - and several therapists popped up and none of them had anything about religion in the blurbs that came up.

Not so crazy! Yes even though I'm straight finding lgbt friendly therapists seems to help me read through the "code" of therapist listings
If a therapists profile lists gender issues then they are probably more of my tribe than the ones who use coded language like "spiritual issues"

There are lgbt friendly practices a bit further into town but worth a second look. I may need to drive further away

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Less and less so than it once was . . .

Question. Does your atheism come into discussion much in your therapy as a matter of discussion? I'm just wondering because my religion almost never comes up as a matter of discussion in therapy.

No my lack of belief almost never comes up. However, most of the Christians I have known whether family or friends can't just leave it alone that we can be different but still friendly. They feel bothered that I am not saved. I worry that a religious t would see that as something I would need to change. I have plenty to change and work with on but my lack of a spiritual life is just fine by me

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I've had two VERY personally religious therapists (one was as deacon in his church and one was a minister), but neither one of them EVER brought up religion -- ever. They were completely therapy-focused. My most recent therapist only brought religion up after I had brought it up. By the way,not all Christians work from the concept of "being saved". That's a particular focus of certain denominations (generally on the more fundamentalist end) but not all of them (I am of a denomination that doesn't speak in those terms). That's why I am saying that they may just advertise that way because, let's face it, this area of Texas is in the "Bible belt" and there are many people who look for a therapist who specifically does have a Christian background, but a Christian background doesn't necessarily mean because they advertise that way that they will pass judgment or bring it into their practice. You may just have to call or interview and ask very pointed questions about religion to see what response you get.

The only time I ran into it was at a particular therapy-group that absolutely did advertise themselves as Christian-based/focused therapy. I mean, they had a cross on their practice logo, etc. I'm a Christian, and I didn't like it either because it was not my Christian practice at all (we are a wide-ranging breed of religion -- as most religions are). I went into that one wary from the onset because generally if they say Christian-based/focused/directed, then they are probably rather fundamentalist. But I don't know of too many practices that are that religiously-focused in this area.

Thank you for this. I do feel badly that I feel like a bigot but I also get very attached to my therapists and the trial and error process could be financially and emotionally expensive. The t I just interviewed said that a lot of therapists here don't advertise as Christian but they do practice religious based therapy. I wish I felt open enough to try to find non fundamentalist t's but I don't have the religious radar to figure out if they are the "right kind" of Christian for me (insert coexist bumper sticker here)
But you are right as there are all kinds of religious counsellors I'm afraid of getting sucked into the wrong kind

Originally Posted by growlycat

No my lack of belief almost never comes up. However, most of the Christians I have known whether family or friends can't just leave it alone that we can be different but still friendly. They feel bothered that I am not saved. I worry that a religious t would see that as something I would need to change. I have plenty to change and work with on but my lack of a spiritual life is just fine by me

But most of the Christians you have known were not therapists, they were just people who were voicing their personal beliefs. I've never found therapists to be terribly big on voicing their personal beliefs about politics or religion unless I brought it up (which I almost never did), and even then, the conversation had very little to do with their beliefs and more to do with my own (and never got into the particulars of "being saved", etc.) And I've never had the feeling a therapist was trying to incorporate religious belief into my therapy. Therapy was more about my issues and my personal values -- but my personal values aren't particularly different from anyone else's probably -- even an atheist. Most of us work toward the same value goals -- honesty, trust, kindness, compassion, respect, etc. Those are just human values.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

But most of the Christians you have known were not therapists, they were just people who were voicing their personal beliefs. I've never found therapists to be terribly big on voicing their personal beliefs about politics or religion unless I brought it up (which I almost never did), and even then, the conversation had very little to do with their beliefs and more to do with my own (and never got into the particulars of "being saved", etc.) And I've never had the feeling a therapist was trying to incorporate religious belief into my therapy. Therapy was more about my issues and my personal values -- but my personal values aren't particularly different from anyone else's probably -- even an atheist. Most of us work toward the same value goals -- honesty, trust, kindness, compassion, respect, etc. Those are just human values.

All great points. I just wish I had X-ray glasses to reveal the therapists like you describe. I think it would take me five to twenty sessions to suss it out. Absolutely there are ethical religious t's. My personal experiences are coloring my attitude and bias. I don't trust myself to be able to pick out the right balance. In most ways I have a clear eye for what I am looking for. Religion baffles me so I can't make distinctions I suppose

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by growlycat

All great points. I just wish I had X-ray glasses to reveal the therapists like you describe. I think it would take me five to twenty sessions to suss it out. Absolutely there are ethical religious t's. My personal experiences are coloring my attitude and bias. I don't trust myself to be able to pick out the right balance. In most ways I have a clear eye for what I am looking for. Religion baffles me so I can't make distinctions I suppose

I think you have the right attitude - why potentially waste time and money like that? When I see "Christian counsellor," I don't think they'll proselytize, but I do think that their - shall we say range, in terms of ideas and solutions and treatment? - may be more limited than for a therapist that doesn't advertise themselves as Christian. Maybe it's not fair, but they did choose to advertise themselves that way, and must have known the pros and cons. Heck, if "Catholic therapists" were a thing, I wouldn't see one and I am Catholic.

Hugs to you, Growly. I've the same fears on therapists who are Christian. Christian therapists would be even worse.

For myself, I need to process my Fundy Christian upbringing and I've noted so far that both ex T and T did get somewhat defensive...sigh.

[growlycat]

Even with people I care about I've had bad experiences. I never understand the pull to want to change another person Live and let live?

[growlycat]

...and yet I'm in therapy haha just caught that. I'm a walking contradiction

That's not a contradiction; change in therapy is about the change that's right for you, somebody imposing their religious beliefs on you is about change you don't want or need. Very different.
I am an atheist and my T was brought up Catholic (I only know this because I read his book) but he literally never mentions religion and I have no idea whether or not he still believes in god(s). But I do live in a very secular country, and I imagine a Christian counsellor would be the exception over here. I doubt anyone would advertise themselves as one unless they were employed by the church.
Did you see the Secular Therapist Project? Here's their fb page since the homepage seems to have a security certificate issue https://m.facebook.com/The-Secular-T...0026059392270/

[growlycat]

Thank you echoes!!! Yes I love that website and I tried it but I think some of the contacts are out of date because the therapists I contacted did not get back to me. But I did thank the creator of the website and he sent me a nice email. It's a great idea. I've lived all over the U.S. And this was never an issue. But Texas is almost like another country like the old ads used to say!!!

[HAL_9000]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Perhaps- but I would not trust them not to incorporate it somehow or try to do so.

Religious affiliation would be the hugest red flag for me when searching for a therapist. Then again psychoanalytic theory is pretty much like religious scripture so I wouldn't be surprised that some if not most of them are following some kind of organized religion.