[iheartjacques]

T said he had some news. Straight away I knew he would say he was leaving. He's got a new job and will be leaving private practice. 8 months. Wow. At first I was fine, but since getting home, it's all I can think about and I feel sad. I know it had to happen sometime. I'm really going to miss such an important and regular support.

[iheartjacques]

Now I feel like I'm losing my best friend. Will probably write a letter to him now instead of in 8 months time on the last day.

[Princetonstyle]

I'm so sorry. This is certainly difficult news, and something that preferably happens when the T and the client feel it's time. Is he willing to refer you to someone else you might click with? He may be able to suggest someone who would be well-suited to you after getting to know you.

[iheartjacques]

I was seeing a psychologist for extra support when T was away. And she's up to speed on everything so I will be able to continue with her after he finishes up at that practice. I'm going to miss him so much though. I really learnt a lot from him as he is a medical doctor as well and does a lot of research and was happy to talk about latest studies etc. it's a bit different to psychology which only focuses on behaviour. Psychiatry has the medical link between the brain and the body and a lot of psychosomatic symptoms and biological markers. And that the meds might actually protect my body from the side effects of depression and stress like heart disease, obesity, diabetes, etc.
I guess my relationship with him was different because he reminded me so much of my father and brother and I had to keep reminding myself that he was not them and actually helpful. I had to fight to stay in my chair sometimes and I had terrible anxiety sometimes.

[iheartjacques]

I guess the timing sucks because I would've preferred to end things or taper off when I was ready.

[junkDNA]

i would feel devastated if my T left, i cant imagine how you feel

[peaches100]

I'm so sorry you are having to end with your therapist before you feel ready. If we have worked with our t's for awhile, many of us develop an emotional attachment to them, in addition to being grateful for the additional support. It's totally understandable that you're feeling really sad about the situation.

I hope you can get the most from the next 8 months of your sessions, both to complete any work that you haven't finished yet, and also to process the feelings of transition and loss.

I'm really glad you have a psychiatrist that understands your issues and that you can continue to see. Has your t suggested that you find another therapist to work with as well? Will you have any contact at all with your t after termination?

I'm so glad you've learned a lot from your t! Those are things that you have internalized. They have become a part of you. In that sense, you now carry a piece of your t inside you as you go through your daily life.

Hang in there! I know you're dreading the upcoming transition, but you're going to get through it and be OK!

[kecanoe]

I'm also sorry you are having to deal with this. I was devastated when ex-t announced that he would be retiring in the next 6-12 months. It took me quite a while to recover, and I actually had to terminate with ex-t before his retirement because continuing to see him was retraumatizing me (according to him and me and T1).

Good came out of it for me, because T3's methods are far more helpful to me than plain talk therapy. But it was a hard thing to go thru

[bounceback]

I always hated those words "I have something to tell you". It makes my heart race and I get a knot in the pit of my stomach. I am sorry this is happening. I have lost many therapists and know how hard it is. Be good to yourself

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am really sorry you are going through this. When my ex-T told me the same news I was devastated and only had two months. I am glad you have 8 months to process this. Leave nothing left unsaid and try to cherish your sessions and be in the moment. Its very painful and hard to loose a therapist. Let yourself feel whatever you need to. The pain does get better over time and you can carry them in your heart where they can stay forever.

[iheartjacques]

Thank you all so much for your replies and hugs.
It's been 48 hours of shock and then tears.
My kids asked why I was sad. I said I'm going to miss seeing Dr xxx as he's leaving. They thought I missed their father. Sorry, nope! Much happier out of that marriage.
After my suicide attempt last year, I had a couple of social workers assigned to me to help me with the stuff going on at home. They've been great at helping me with the transition to a single parent, getting a protection order, getting counselling for the kids, etc. it's all short term support of 6-9 months. So I guess I was kinda thinking T would still be there after all these people left.
I feel like I can't handle anymore loss. My mind is going nuts with break up songs. Yes I'm attracted to him, but it's more like the loss of a rock, an anchor, my safe place. There was no physical contact with him so it's not quite like a boyfriend breakup.
I was also tempted not to go back again. But I still need to get through the court case next month and set myself up with long term strategies.

[iheartjacques]

I'm also thinking what's the point of talking about anymore old stuff if there's no time to talk about it? What's the point of seeing him if it's just "checking in"? And I'm mad. His timing sucks. I wanted to leave when I was ready, not on his terms. Gah.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I can relate. My T gave me a years notice. I have 6 months left with her. She's not going anywhere though. She just feels that clients shouldn't work with Ts beyond 2 years in order to gain new insight/perspective. I'm really struggling with the upcoming termination.

[iheartjacques]

The T is my psychiatrist who does talk therapy. I liked it because it was a one stop shop. I'm not sure who to see re my meds. I doubt my GP knows enough and I need someone if I'm going to go off my medication one day.
In my country you can see a psychiatrist as much as you need and get help with the costs. We only get ten sessions with a psychologist per year and then pay full cost after that. Which I hate because the first few sessions is repeating everything all over again, then you start talking about something and it's over.

[iheartjacques]

Two years? I've had him 3.5 years. The longest I've had anyone. Last great T was two years and she cut me off suddenly. That took a while to get over. The others I haven't really liked or connected with and I just stopped going.

[iheartjacques]

Oh, and no I don't think I would get any further contact with him after it finishes