Does your T give hugs?

Yes, she has. This is not something she does on a regular basis at all. I think she has hugged me twice in all the time we've been working together. It was appropriate and accepted by me. There have been times since she hugged me that I wish she would have given me that hug but she didn't and she knows that I will never ask.

No hugs with my T.. never talked about it.. I'm ok with that.

no and I would not like to see that happen either

Thankfully in 6.5 years, we have had no physical contact.

I guess because those of us with BPD supposedly have more problems with attachment towards our Ts. I'd like to check that out on here! We would misinterpret the hugs? Read too much into them? That didn't happen for me. Touch has been healing for me and I don't think it made my attachment more difficult.

yes

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He has never hugged me (I'm female). In three years, we've barely touched. He does give me a fist-bump sometimes, more often in the last year. It's really reassuring to me because it says, "Good job."

I think I'd feel weird about a hug.
The truth is that my breasts are quite large, and I always feel self-conscious hugging guys because I don't want it to be an issue for them, so I only side-hug guys.
Yeah, I'd feel weird about a hug at therapy.

But sometimes when I'm shaken up and panicked inside, falling apart and breathing fast, I wish he would hold me to give me that stability. Instead I go to my husband and have him meet that need, which I think is a better route for me.

Well, that was illuminating! I'm glad my current T doesn't believe in labels. Yet, it is sort of true the way I act, and my T does have good boundaries. The article makes me feel kind of like a criminal though. Yuck!

Yes, and I miss them.

Yes. I have never allowed myself to be comforted by or connected to another human and my whole self craved this. The desire to be held safely in another persons arms whilst opening up to them has always been there. I needed my mother for this but she wasn't able to be that for me. Because of the past, this has never felt safe with a man. I was lost, around this issue, before I met T and she began meeting this 'need' of mine.

on the rare occassions when t and i are in the same country at the same time and we actualy get to see each other..yes she is very huggy if i need her to be.

So, my therapist is the super huggy type but hasn't actually tried doing so.

First and foremost, I'm particular about my personal space even when it comes to females I find attractive.

Second, I'm not the touchy-feely type. Physical contact is not my "love language".

My guess is I would have to ask for one. There are times i would take a big hug from here but I just never think to do so.

Yes. One hug when we meet, and another one before we depart each other.

My T doesn't hug. I have talked to her about this and she said it is an ethical/boundaries issue. She is a psychodynamic T so the no hug thing is probably part of how she was trained. I do have attachment issues and maternal transference so hugging could make things confusing I guess.

Mine does. Although it took me a full year of seeing her before I got the nerve up to ask for one, and then only because she was about to move away!! She moved back a little over a year ago, and I've gotten a hug here and there since then, I haven't had to ask anymore they just kinda happen after an emotional session or whatever. Honestly I would like a hug after every session, but with the maternal transference that still rears it's ugly head sometimes, I'm pretty sure that would just be asking for it, so I just let them happen naturally and I don't push it. Anyway, I'm a huggy kinda person, so it's natural for me to want a hug. Happily my h is a hugger, and my drumming group is a huggy bunch too, so I meet my hug quota pretty regularly anyway! My family wasn't big on hugging growing up, so I'm not sure where I got it from!

My T allows almost all those things: touch, gifts, out of session contact. We've even talked about it would be okay if I ever stormed out of the office and what to do (she will call me). Good thing my T doesn't follow that clichéd BPD b.s.

It's funny when I read everyone's comment including mine. I've never really placed so much attention in giving or receiving a hug. Once I met my t I then Became more aware of it. At times it felt awkward hugging certain people. When I met my at she wouldn't even shake my hand. The most contact I've bee had with her was when she offered me peanuts and she placed it in my hand. I wasn't sure how to react because I knew that she really was avoiding touch. That gave a whole new meaning when people hugged me and I hugged others. I became more aware and valued it so much more. When I met my children's T she's shook my hand and i felt awkward because she's a T. I then thought but she's not my T so I guess it's okay. I don't think she's as picky with touch the way my T was which I find so much better and I'm more relaxed. Otherwise I feel like I'm contagious or quarantined.

I think it can be very therapeutic. We recently had a hugging issue at work. I usually get a hug from a coworker which after 5 years another coworker felt left out. She voiced that she needed a hug and that her husband rarely gives her hugs. We each gave her a hug and we continued our day like normal. It was a brief therpeutic moment for all of us.

I liked this YouTube video about the different expressions of love that people crave. It sounds a lot like the love languages book. I crave hugs Long term t gives them but I only see him once a year in person. I asked for one from sparky before moving and I got one. Kashi handshakes a lot. Don't know what his hug boundary is yet.

I don't know if he does hugs with other clients, but I don't feel inclined to hugs from my therapist. I am only a semi-huggy person. And even though I feel super-close to my therapist, we are so connected through words that I don't think hugs would add much to our work together. Plus I think maybe that i have other people I can get hugs from, so I'm sort of up for keeping our relationship in the word domain alone.

My T does. It took about a year and a half maybe before I was comfortable enough to ask for one. Now we hug after every session and sometimes also at the start

My therapist and I hug frequently. It is the most healing part of therapy for me at this moment.

I've actually been jealous of all the people here who talk about emails, calls, texts, gifts, and hugs from their Ts. I have never had any of that. Current T seems like a natural hugger, but she has never touched me except for one accidental elbow brush about a year ago and one finger touch when handing me a pen. I know I don't come off as a huggy person, plus she knows about an earlier ET issue, so I try to convince myself that's why she keeps her distance. Better than the painful and prevailing thought that I'm repulsive. I don't get the basic need for platonic human touch met anywhere in my life except for my hugely affectionate kid, and I very much want and need to relearn how to trust that kind of contact. This T does not seem to be the one who'll help with that, though, which kinda sucks. I'll never bring it up to her.

I had one that always gave me a hug but my last one just gave me a pat on the shoulder. Which was okay with me since he was male and I didn't want transference.

My T doesn't and I wouldn't be comfortable with it anyway. Clear. Strict. Boundaries. That's what I like.