Couch 124 - Discussions & more!

But...doesn't your therapist think highly of you too? Like didn't she once call you a therapist's wet dream?

She's most likely to want to preserve her relationship with both of you.

I don't trust that she thinks as highly of me as she does of the normal people she knows..

But it's not about who she thinks more highly of, is it? It's about whether she can support you and keep you as a client. I don't see why she can't do that.

I'm presumably having a similar conversation with No. 2 today about ex-psychiatrist, so I sort of get your position.

Hmm... I'm having trouble explaining what I'm afraid of...

I don't mean to keep lumping us together, but I would say what I'm afraid of from No. 2 is any one or more of the following:

- dismissing what the ex-psychiatrist did, or attempting to justify it
- or blaming me for it
- or in any way indicating her attitude towards me has changed.

Is it like any of those that you're afraid of? Plus the possibility that she actually hates your emails? Maybe you could describe the reaction you want instead?

I suppose No. 2 could say she doesn't think we should work together anymore, which, given her prolonged silence, is not impossible. (And we haven't even factored in the fact that I can't pay her right now.) What would be perfect is "[Ex-psychiatrist] shouldn't have handled the situation that way, I'm very sorry, I never imagined it would come to this, please let me know how I can support you." Essentially No. 3's response,

I'm really the last person to be offering suggestions on this considering my scorched earth policy about such things but I imagine that even if things don't feel totally right in the first go-around, as long as the T's attitude leaves open the door to talking about it further and understanding the client's stance better, it could work?

You write murder poems where the therapist is both murderer and murderee?

I can't speak for Bay, but what I'm getting from this is a similar trigger I have for anything that induces shame related to reaching out for connection and having that be framed by the recipient as some sort of freakish or creepy act. It's compounded by talking about it to the therapist. All I can say is the tired old cliche--the only way out is through--and take a chance that talking to the therapist drains the intensity of the feeling, rather than increases it.

OMG YES!!!!
THAT IS EXACTLY THE FEELING!!!
I was severely neglected as a child and when I DID need something ( like say the time I was dying of pneumonia in front of my mom s eyes) I would hear about how I was just DESTROYING my mom's life.
So I feel like An inhuman freak now. Obviously normal good people aren't pains in the assets.
And what I'm really afraid of is "outing" myself to my T...like she's managed to some how overlook how damaged I am but once she knows about this shell see it

Well...there goes No. 2 out the door. Can't really blame her for wanting income, though.

At least I have another pint of chocolate peanut butter Haagen-Dazs waiting in the freezer for when I get home.

$&@?!;$ Her loss entirely.

What does this mean? She terminated because she wanted more money, or you terminated because of financial issues? Either way...

(((Bay))) so - the massage t didnt know how to tell you she didnt want to email that much anymore. So she saw an opportunity and tried to slip it in there.

Kinda like when parents today say to kids, i still love YOU, i just dont love your BEHAVIOR. Much less confusing when my mother used to say, stop that or else.

So this is adulting - tempering your needs or idk. Negotiating them with other adults?

my reaction

Thanks for walking thru your feelings about this with us.

Neither, really - I checked we were okay over the ex-psychiatrist, then I told her I couldn't pay her anymore, and she said she can defer payment per session for a week or so, and I said I couldn't make payment even in a week or so (the divorce proceedings are cleaning me out). So, impasse.

I'm not impoverished, I do have money - but it's tied up in trust funds or otherwise inaccessible, so cash flow is low now. It'll be much better in a few months, provided there aren't more problems with the divorce. There's No. 3, but we've both agreed that Skype sessions just aren't working as well for me as someone physically present. So we check in occasionally - and she is doing this knowing she won't be paid for months, plus I already owed her money, making her some kind of candidate for therapist sainthood (well, until she irritates me again) - but that's it.

I've looked at the therapists my insurance covers before and there aren't very many (and most of them specialize in addiction therapy), nor are they very appealing after Web research. So not sure what to do. 2 suggested calling 1 for recommendations - which would just be the cherry on the top of my day so far.

No but i could!! I am talented like that.

T1 kills T2 so as to get Stopdog for herself alone.

Can I have SD's T1? She's surely better than nothing.

eta: I also like to meet legends in the flesh. Once I met Grumpy Cat (SXSW).

There really are people named Mysti. And they are therapists.

Atat...you can have my T1...I imagine he is probably helpful for other people but he has ZERO idea what to do with me anymore.

(I just find the whole thing frustrating.)

Mysti Rain?

I'm getting misty-eyed.

(Okay, that's a really bad one -- blame it on coffee deprivation)

Almost! Mysti Rainwater, LPC, PLLC, Counseling and Psychology Services

(Hope this isn't the one you looked at @@, if it is, PM me and I'll remove the link.
Sorry to hear you're facing such an unsettling period in therapy right when you don't need it )

Well they could not be accountants. Of course i would be inclined to pronounce their name with two long I's. Like an asian restaurant that closed here called Dinersty. I rhymed it with pigsty, not dynasty. Who would eat in a diner-sty?! Actually they had pretty good food esp if you ordered off- menu.

Nope - so there are at least two!

eta: could I ask her to "Play Misty for Me"?

I myself would not dare that particular setup....