[retro_chic]

So after my session last night I started to feel kind of irritated with my T and I don't know why. It seems to be over really stupid things like when she said goodbye instead of saying "take care" she said "see ya". The other thing that annoyed me was when we were talking about romantic relationships I said that the guy doesn't need to be super physically attractive for me to be attracted to them then T said "so he doesn't need to be like Brad Pitt, actually he's a bit old maybe someone from your generation like Justin Bieber. I'm sure it's not Justin Bieber!" *awkward laughter from T*. Obviously T was just trying to be funny but I just found it irritating.

I know these little things aren't really what's bothering me but I'm not really sure what actually is. I think part of it is that I thought I would have had some kind of breakthrough and cried in front of T by now. I thought she would be able to get that out of me. Also, I don't think I need T as much as I used to; in the beginning I felt like seeing T was the only thing getting me through the week. The fact that I don't feel that way anymore should be a good thing but I miss it for some reason. Lastly, I spend so much time obsessing over T and therapy is n general that all this navel gazing has left me feeling disconnected from everyone else. Because of that the person I'm closest with (in certain ways) is T but she won't even hug me and she is obviously not my friend. The whole thing is frustrating and usually I would blame myself and leave T on the pedestal that I put her on but not this time. This time the anger is directed at her and I don't like it.

[Out There]

I've had similar feelings. I talked about it to my T. I was like " You're being so bloody reasonable I could have a go at you ! "

Thers always a reason. It can be that we feel they are not aware of how we are feeling ams how their misattunement hurts.

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by Out There

I've had similar feelings. I talked about it to my T. I was like " You're being so bloody reasonable I could have a go at you ! "

How did your T respond?

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Thers always a reason. It can be that we feel they are not aware of how we are feeling ams how their misattunement hurts.

Yes, I think misattunement is at least part of the issue here. Even though they were just tiny things, the fact that my parents are constantly misattuned to my needs made it quite triggering. My parents try very hard to understand me and care a lot but often miss the mark and I feel as though I must be abnormal and that there is something wrong with me. I always felt as though T really "got" me and was perfectly attuned (and she still is for the most part) but when tiny little things disrupt that I feel extremely disappointed and angry with her.

[secretworld]

I get this sometimes as well. Anger is a secondary emotion, are you able to identify the basic feeling behind the anger? Happy, mad, sad or scared etc...

[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by secretworld

I get this sometimes as well. Anger is a secondary emotion, are you able to identify the basic feeling behind the anger? Happy, mad, sad or scared etc...

Yeah... I think it is sadness.

[Out There]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

How did your T respond?

It's happened a few times now with both my T's , and they've engaged with me to see what it is as they both say whatever is happening is two people contributing to it ( good T's do this ). It's anger on the surface , underneath is hurt , sadness , exasperation and all sorts of feelings and transference from different people. I feel like leaving therapy when it happens , but I've ploughed on and it's been healing , although it's painful.

Sometimes it's hard to put your finger on the reasons. I have plenty of reason to be furious with my EX T. He is a narcissistic, psychopath, who set out to destroy my life. He has solicited others to HELP HIM and the IDIOTS were like SURE I'll help you destroy her. Now I am in the worst situation of my life. Pure hell for years. I suggest if you are annoyed at your T take heed and run for your life. Some of them are the WORST human beings you could ever encounter.

[therapyishelping777]

I know the more I get closer to someone emotionally the more little things will annoy me.. maybe your intimacy is building and the annoyance is a defence mechanism to getting closer.. I ONLY say this because I felt it myself.. my T started annoying me over stupid reasons. I love him, best T ever... but little things really bugging me. Then I would think of his care, help and wisdom and I would be ok.. and thankful to have him totally get it though!

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

So after my session last night I started to feel kind of irritated with my T and I don't know why. It seems to be over really stupid things like when she said goodbye instead of saying "take care" she said "see ya". The other thing that annoyed me was when we were talking about romantic relationships I said that the guy doesn't need to be super physically attractive for me to be attracted to them then T said "so he doesn't need to be like Brad Pitt, actually he's a bit old maybe someone from your generation like Justin Bieber. I'm sure it's not Justin Bieber!" *awkward laughter from T*. Obviously T was just trying to be funny but I just found it irritating.

I know these little things aren't really what's bothering me but I'm not really sure what actually is. I think part of it is that I thought I would have had some kind of breakthrough and cried in front of T by now. I thought she would be able to get that out of me. Also, I don't think I need T as much as I used to; in the beginning I felt like seeing T was the only thing getting me through the week. The fact that I don't feel that way anymore should be a good thing but I miss it for some reason. Lastly, I spend so much time obsessing over T and therapy is n general that all this navel gazing has left me feeling disconnected from everyone else. Because of that the person I'm closest with (in certain ways) is T but she won't even hug me and she is obviously not my friend. The whole thing is frustrating and usually I would blame myself and leave T on the pedestal that I put her on but not this time. This time the anger is directed at her and I don't like it.

Sometimes annoyance/irritation can be a sign of depression. Are you depressed?