[lauren_helene]

Why every time I have a session do I worry that they will call and cancel? They haven't canceled in a long time but here I sit still worrying about it.

Maybe because I've been saying too much in therapy lately...I'm nervous about that. I basically told T that he's in my thoughts and told him about a song that has come on the radio when I am depressed (twice now) that reminds me of him and I.

What the %&$#@ was I thinking by telling him this? It's not a bad song at all but still...ugh

[Perna]

I use to sit in the waiting "room" and be sure my T wouldn't show up. . . this was after 5-6 YEARS of her never cancelling/not showing up.

I often had/have songs that reminded me of T and therapy. I don't think I told her about any though because she was from a different background/nationality and I doubt she would have heard of the songs :-) Anytime she mentioned a book or movie I'd get it/go see it and we NEVER had the same taste in such things and I didn't like the books she liked or the movies but use to give her books I had/liked -- don't know why I thought she'd like my taste if I didn't like hers LOL.

I think you'll be okay, Almeda, having told your T about the song. Every now and then it's good to do something scary like that and see that nothing "bad" happens as it helps with the trust and increases the space around you where you're "safe."

Almeda, I think it's so cool and brave that you shared that with your T.

On days that I have T every time my cell phone rings I jump thinking it's him cancelling. He has never cancelled on me like that before. The only cancellations are ones that he tells me about weeks in advance. Does hold any value to me? Of course not! I still freak out about it.

I have so many songs that remind me of my T and my relationship with him.

So far the only one that I told him about is the one that has a sarcastic value to it.

I am a big Elvis fan. There is one song that is called "(Such an) Easy Question" and in the song, Elvis sings the lyrics, "Such an easy question.... why can't I get an answer?"

I told T that I was fed up with him always answering my questions with another question. I told him that he reminded me very much of this song.

He said he wasn't familiar with the song so I told him the lyrics. Then I told him not to feel bad that he didn't know the song because it wasn't exactly a shining moment in Elvis' 60s catalogue.

[lauren_helene]

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Perna said:

I think you'll be okay, Almeda, having told your T about the song. Every now and then it's good to do something scary like that and see that nothing "bad" happens as it helps with the trust and increases the space around you where you're "safe."

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I hope so Perna because my anxiety is rising...I'll be shaky by the time I get there. I hate this part and is why I have avoided talking about our relationship. Guess that isn't the point of therapy though...avoidance of a difficult topic

[lauren_helene]

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pinksoil said:
Almeda, I think it's so cool and brave that you shared that with your T.

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I did at first too. I had a rough couple of days after I told him.

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pinksoil said:
On days that I have T every time my cell phone rings I jump thinking it's him cancelling.

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Yes, sometimes the office calls on my appt day and I freak out. I'm going to call soon and confirm, maybe that will relax me.

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pinksoil said:
I am a big Elvis fan. There is one song that is called "(Such an) Easy Question" and in the song, Elvis sings the lyrics, "Such an easy question.... why can't I get an answer?"

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I like this phrase. I don't like that either. Sometimes T does give me a short answer though...I like that

[MissCharlotte]

Hey Almeda,

I think your sharing was awesome, you put yourself out there and that is the one way to find yourself. WEll done!!!

I have T today also, and he just called me a couple minutes ago.

When the phone rang I knew it was him. My appt. was scheduled for 6:30 this eve. So, he says, "My 6:30, I mean my 5:45 cancelled"

(and as he was saying this I thought he was going to say someone bumped me and he couldn't see me as planned).

But what he really said was could I come in a little earlier....so I said,

YES

Anyway, the point being that right I thought he was cancelling and I have no idea why I would think that. So, we're in this doubtful boat together. Pass me an oar, will ya?

Good luck today.