Couch 125 - We shall survive!

I'll bring the broccoli casserole. And the pumpkin rolls. Virtual vittles are much easier to prepare.

I always mentally invite myself to my t's.

I don't think I would want to be with my therapist for Thanksgiving. I imagine her just wanting a quiet day, and not getting it because of all the people (even though she doesn't talk about her family or how many there are...I imagine there are a lot) and wanting the day to end. Or maybe she will be at a peace vigil. I could see it going either way. I'll be glad that I'm home, doing my own thing and hopefully not hearing from any family members.

You know what we could also do? Invite ourselves to SD's!

Yeah shes already havin a party I bet she wouldnt even notice us We're quiet We just get a little blinky from time to time like if we have too much wine

Ooh, we could have a sword fight with those skewers you use to lace up the turkey!

Ex-fencer SD probably has actual swords. Even better!

sD would put us all at the kid's table.

Usually the movie theaters are open. I may do that. I looked into volunteering but oddly it is very popular here and I should have thought about that two months ago.

Sure...but we would turn it into the fun table. Especially when unaluna gets up on the table and does the sand dance.

Perhaps try the major LGBT organizations (if you haven't already)? Usually, the queers (especially the kids) will be around and oftentimes, ready to turn things into a riotous party.

I do love blinkies. I think i was deprived of rebuses as a child.

Im bringing a donut hole tree. I love donut holes. They have no calories, right? Plus its kind of a political symbol for health insurance which is great until you fall into the donut hole, then your bills get huge, until you reach the other side of the donut.

Art, how was the concert?

lol, I want doughnuts now

Speaking of the wine, that's what I'm bringing!

It was pretty awesome! Thanks for asking. They started right on time, no opening act just them, and didn't let up the entire time - no stopping to talk like some singers do, they just rock n rolled straight through for a good hour and 20 minutes. We had a great time! I'm funny about being in big crowds of people. Usually I can't stand it. But at concerts, if we get there right when they start, it's like the extreme loudness of the music kinda makes a barrier or something for me and I can handle it. And it was very loud last night...!! My ears felt numb as we were walking to the car after. (All better this morning though.) Most of the crowd was on our feet dancing when they finally got around to doing "Hold On Loosely". We decided to go kind of at the last minute, just got the tickets a couple weeks ago, and I'm glad we decided to go!

Glad you had a good time.

Just back from t. i am such a stupid needy person. words can't express how I feel.

I really shouldn't try talking to H about things. Now I just feel 100 times worse...

I just needed t to ask the people outside to talk a bit quieter, but he said they were just talking, so instead he put on some ocean audio, but something wasn't right all session and the more we talked about it the less he seemed to understand so I stopped talking and told him about the anniversary of me giving up drugs and tobacco. Then it was time to leave.
I really needed to feel connected to him today .
He also talked more than usual about the Christmas break

You are not stupid! Hugs if you want them. Feeling needy is really hard, I struggle with it too.

Well I guess I had a little too much fun last night, I ended up falling asleep on the couch this afternoon and missed the wild women ceremony thing I was going to go to today. Oh well! I woke up from the nap very refreshed so I guess I needed it. Woke up and made spaghetti for dinner. Yum!

I know. My t would say these are messages we've been given.
How do you deal with it. I'm sure you have said before but my memory really sucks.

Can I line up for spaghetti? I haven't had any for ages.

[passes a virtual plate of spaghetti to BCM]

When I'm feeling all needy of t (cuz she's pretty much the only person I get all needy of it seems like, for whatever reason that might be) I just plain talk to her about it - I told her honestly that I was wanting more of her than I could have. That was not easy to say!! But we discussed it and came up with the half-sessions thing as a way to go more often for the same cost (since I pay out of pocket). It worked, too. I'm thankfully over the recent bout of neediness but it is hard while it's in full force. I do not like it one bit. Seems a little counter intuitive I guess, I mean she's awesome and I love her and she's helped me SO much... but at the same time I do not want to NEED her. Sorry now I am rambling.