Couch 125 - We shall survive!

At least you got some action!

Why would she ask how she has failed as my t?!

I would ****ing hate that

Art. No. 3 asked me "have I failed you?" all.the.friggin.time. It's one of the things they seem to do.

She overreacted, probably because Jungian, and reached for the words she knew.

Why don't you send her an email? Now sounds like a good time for it.

I wouldn't mind as long as I knew she'd see the responses. If that part wasn't made clear to you...that would definitely make it feel like a violation to me.

I would not like this except maybe on a periodic basis, like every six sessions or every three months or something like that. Not at the end of every session, and not after an initial session!

Also, I would resent it a little. I'm paying you to work on my issues, not to serve as free quality control for your professional development. I'm not sure how useful the feedback could even be.

I actually did earlier and got a one letter (not one word, one letter) response. "K." Which I take to mean "Okay." Which leaves me feeling like she IS mad. And leaves me hating that I even care.

So. The gender reveal event happened and I survived and actually stay around. I volunteered for the cooking so I could be in my safe place. My kitchen.

It is a girl!!! Boys run rampant in my line and theirs.

She will be a girly tomboy.

Shopping for a jogging stroller. I'm so thankful that they have stayed close to us, meaning my husband and me. It feels like a redo for a bad past.

Not looking for rainbows and butterflies for a correction of my past. I'm just so enjoying how nice it is and how blessed I feel that they want to be a part of our life, and is a part of theirs.

I know it's super cheesy and the cheesiness would rub me the wrong way, but man, I'm amazed that she's asking for feedback AND wanting to discuss it????

Neither current T nor former T have ever asked for feedback -- they both seem supremely confident in their abilities. Current T appears to engage in some awkward, clumsy, belated course correction (without actually labeling it so) if she picks up on my distress about stuff she's done / said. And, former T of course, actively dismissed all the (okay, rather pissy) feedback I gave her.

I would think it okay unless the therapist dismissed my input. I did consistently tell the woman she failed at almost all of those sorts of things. She just quit asking - it did not change - she just stopped trying to get feedback.I still tell her even when she does not ask.

Seriously?! Seriously?!

Even No. 2's Hemingwayesque one-sentence subject-verb-object email responses were better than that.

Let us know if you'd like some of us to...ah...pay her a visit.

when she said "i'm not going to drag it out of you" i wonder what would have happened if i had said "maybe i want/need you to care enough to." ?

yeah, i think it's time for a glass of wine.

Oh man, Art, that would be hard to get a one letter reply. My therapist once told me I was good at telling her what didn't work in therapy. It wasn't an applause kind of thing, but more like your therapist's failure remark, only she wasn't needing to ask how she failed, so much as pointing out that I'd been thorough in explaining that part. We got through it eventually. That's my wish for you...to get through this.

I'm really glad you explained what "gender reveal" means. In my case, there is no baby on the way and the gender to be revealed is anyone's guess. Congrats on the baby girl on the way.

Congrats! That's exciting! My sister's daughter is a girly tomboy - much to my sister's chagrin, heehee, she likes to wear pink and sparkly stuff. But, she is a tough lil tomboy too - she competes in rock climbing events already and she's only 9!

If she just whipped out the tablet at the end with no discussion about it first, I'd be thrown off for sure. I also would think its weird. IF she wants my feedback, she should just ask for it?

My T has periodically asked how she could do better but it was in the context of a discussion about me and my progress, as in "how can I be a better fit for for you, MobiusPsyche?" This sounds more generic and meaningless to me.

I would think they aren't very confident or experienced.

Well, yeah, that's my issue. The previous three all asked for feedback (a lot, in the case of 3). Surely verbal feedback is the best kind?

You're also supposed to use the tablet to assess mood etc. at the beginning of the session. I don't see why I can't say that straight out.

It seems to be a newish thing. The parents of the child on the way, get the sonogram results and plan a party to reveal the gender of the baby.

It is quite a big thing on the happening list in my place.

Thank you for your congrats!! I look so forward to being a part of their lives.

Thanks couchies for putting up with me tonight. I'm sipping a glass of wine and it's helping me mellow out a bit. Of course I have been crying some as I made a list of 10 "big" ways t has helped me, but that was to be expected I guess. Maybe she just had an "off" day today. Maybe our relationship has just run it's course and I need to work with someone else. I don't know. I can scarcely even type that thought. At least I only have to wait 4 days before I see her again to hash all of this out.

Hugs to you Art. She sounded so off today!!! I agree she sounded angry but you did nothing to deserve it being aimed at you. I think she will end up apologizing. Something must be wrong in her life at the moment.

I'd say "Oh I'm sorry, I don't participate in data collection for purposes of quality control. It's a boundary I have."

Guess I might be crabby at the moment.

Art, one bad session does not mean you are through. It means that she had a bad day or you had a bad day or the two of you got your wires crossed. Hang in there until Weds. Knowing you, you will have the whole thing figured out by then.

Art you are one rich dream away from figuring it out. Keep a notebook on your nightstand!