[granite1]

so i have T again today and again i dont know what to say of think . some days are so hard for me to function and others are ok . but always the huge amount of stress gets to me and she just doesnt seem to get it at all .i dont know why .im sure chronic stress is a concept she has come across before . i always seems like she doesnt believe me when i try to talk about it . she seems to just think the things im stressing about are easily managed or just in my head. but does it matter if it is in my head . to me it is stressing me . she wants me to talk about my trauma. she says that i talk about all this other stuff to not talk about trauma. she said she is wiling to talk about anything i want she will never force me to talk about something im not ready to talk about but she feels in order for me to be able to be truly free of my past at some point ill need to talk about it.she says my life is still being controlled by fear.that the mother still has a grip on me .i want so badly to be able to talk to her about my traumas but every time i try i mess it all up because im terrified and i just dont know how.she ends up getting so angry and frustrated with me . my stress is real my stress is now and why not talk about it

[granite1]

i think i will try and go in there and try to talk some more about my brother and what went on . ill try an walk in there and just sit down .after she has situated herself i can just tell her that i would like to try and talk some more about my brother and ask her if that is ok . if i get a good vibe from that i can try and continue . i want to correct her on her misconception that i was just mimicking the sexual abuse i suffered on him . that was not the case and i have not been able to talk to more about it other than to tell her that was not the case .

[Argonautomobile]

Good luck, Granite. I hope your session goes well!

[velcro003]

You can do it Granite. Try and remember your T has NEVER been mad or frustrated with you, that is your trauma coloring what you perceive.

[velcro003]

Hey Granite---how'd it go?

[Luce]

One of the things being recognized in the mental health field lately is that trauma isn't resolved through talk therapy. Talking about unresolved trauma (especially developmental/ childhood trauma) activates a physiological response (anxiety / terror / panic / dissociation etc) which intensifies emotions rather than resolving them. The recommended approach is to stabilize the client with grounding skills, teaching strategies to stay within the neutral zone (untriggered) and things like that BEFORE talking about trauma. The current thinking is that trauma responses can only be altered when trauma can be processed from the untriggered state.
That's why I keep recommending you see a trauma therapist - this T means well, but she doesn't seem to have enough knowledge about dealing with complex trauma to be able to help you. A trauma therapist could be helping you a LOT faster.

granite i have been thinking about you lately and hope you are well.

[granite1]

hey guys i was able to talk a very little .i kind of talked about talking about my brother. i told her the story about him letting me out of my room in the mornings when the mother had it locked from the outside . i know she is worried about traumatizing again talking about it .i wonder what is therapy for .

[ruh roh]

I don't know how your therapist works, but I think the idea is to talk only as long as it can be done safely--so, having things in place to be able to cope and be calm, and then just a little memory work at a time as it can be tolerated.