Day after tomorrow....

He will be back. Available. Accessible.

Right?

I think.

I am going to try not to call him on Tuesday. What's one more day? Ha. Tuesday is my busiest day of the week. I leave the house at 7:30 AM and don't get home until 10 PM. So if there is any day in which I could actually not think about him (Ok. That is not possible. I will rephrase)... If there is any day in which I could think about him considerably less than I normally do, it would be a Tuesday.

I am just hoping that he will change his voicemail back from his vacation message so at least I will know he returned.

I feel like he's not my therapist anymore. I have gone through so many different stages of dealing with this. I think I am up to the "out of sight, out of mind" one. Well, I mean obviously he's not out of mind just for the sheer fact that I'm typing this right now... but it that's object constancy thing in a different way... like I don't even feel hurt right now. I just sort of feel like........ therapist? What therapist?

((Pinksoil))

So close yet so far -- in more ways than one huh? I also experienced the "what therapist?" syndrome. I think it's a self protective/self-preservation technique. I would pretend that I wasn't in therapy, that it was a nice ride but over O V E R!!

All I can say is you are doing great. I'm so relieved for you that he will be available after the weekend is over. Oh, and pack one of those little tissue packs on Wednesday.

All I remember was bursting into tears because my body desperately wanted to walk out and get in the car and go to therapy when she was on vacation. Only that particular day of the week and time and it was like having an exhuberant dog inside of me wanting to go for a walk and bringing me his leash; I had a heck of a time holding myself back! Was too weird having your body have sensations that "you" didn't engender/initiate.

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pinksoil said:

I feel like he's not my therapist anymore. I have gone through so many different stages of dealing with this. I think I am up to the "out of sight, out of mind" one. Well, I mean obviously he's not out of mind just for the sheer fact that I'm typing this right now... but it that's object constancy thing in a different way... like I don't even feel hurt right now. I just sort of feel like........ therapist? What therapist?

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This struck me because when I had those 18 days between sessions back in March, I went through all sorts of stages too. Then at one point, I said the same as you 'therapist, what therapist'.

I think I blocked him out of my head at one point. Probably a coping mechanism. I'm glad you pointed this out in yourself. I think this is exactly why I should make sure that I stick this out. Eventually, reducing sessions will become pain-free right?

Oh, who am I kidding

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pinksoil said:
I am going to try not to call him on Tuesday. What's one more day?

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Sounds like a plan! Good for you.

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I don't even feel hurt right now. I just sort of feel like........ therapist? What therapist?

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This reminds me of how I felt before I gave birth to my second child. Somehow, I had blocked out the pain of childbirth (a common occurrence, I've heard), so it was like "labor and delivery, painful? what? no problem." But then once I started into labor again, it was like oh yeah, I remember this. So be prepared...