My T said to me " you have street smarts but you were never socialized" .

What does that even mean?And should I feel offended?

[thesnowqueen]

You should definitely ask him/her to clarify.

Yes ask for clarification. I would think "never socialized" is perhaps a bit too strong unless you have spent your life in the woods, alone.

[amandalouise]

here in my location street smarts means a person knows their way around, knows their self very well, knows how to solve their problems, having the experience and knowledge to get out of dangerous situations.

examples of being street smart ....

a person is at work and the phone is ringing, theres meetings to go to, theirs co workers that want a person to do this that and the other thing..

a street smart person instead of entering panic mode and being overwhelmed by all that work stress will think ok this is my job and puts the phone on hold, finds the co worker the information they need, comes back to the phone and writes down what the caller needs and lets them know they will look into the problem and get back to them and then attends the meeting, when meeting is done works on what ever the caller on the phone needed.....no panic anxiety and not getting the job done. just knowing this is what my day is going to be like and getting on with doing what needs to be done.

another example of street smart is a woman walking alone and discovers that group of people over there are really paying attention, rather than screaming and taking off running in a total panic she stays calm, crosses the street as if going to that building over there and faking a phone call on her cell phone... hi Im here if you look out your window you will see me, then enters the building across the street and waits safely for the group of guys be be on their way. and if they dont leave in a reasonable amount of time finds another exit or mode of transportation to get to the correct destination of where they were going to begin with.

another example of street smart is being able to be to work on time, being able to manage classes if in school, being able to cook, clean and take care of one self.

socializing in my location means walking over to someone and beginning a conversation and staying there to hold a conversation, it means going to a party with a friend and rather than sitting on the couch all evening wishing one was home, they participate in the party activities, talking and enjoying their self.

here in my location we have classes that teach a person how to be street smart (having the experience and knowledge to take care of their self and their problems) and we have leisure activity classes for those that want to socialize. for example right now my wife and I are in a bowling league, and we get together with our friends to attend broadway shows for socialization,

my suggestion... maybe you can join a group or activity in your location where you can get together with other people and have some enjoyment time. or maybe you can call a friend and say hey want to go do this together.... thats what socialization is in my location.

[satsuma]

Hmm but it's funny that the T used it as a noun. To have street smarts. Interesting.
OP: I think - hopefully - it's unlikely T was saying something offensive or unkind, but I definitely think it's good to ask what they mean if they say something a bit odd or unclear.

I didn't want to ask my T what it meant because I didn't want him to know that I didn't understand it.

So basically I have what it takes to get through life,to get myself through life,but I don't know how to be with and around people.I would know what to do in stressful situations but at a party I wouldn't have a clue how to talk to anyone there.

That sounds about right.

[satsuma]

I think in some ways that is similar to me too. I work hard, had a good education and have a successful career, know how to handle my life (generally) and get on with people. But I have had very few close relationships, and for quite a lot of my life avoided parties and things like that.
It's sad that there was an aspect missing from my life before, but it's much better now. I actually enjoy going to parties now! Therapy has really helped with that part of my life.

We see this in some students we teach. They have survived some pretty difficult background, but they have no real sense of basic social skills, give and take of conversation and interaction, how to communicate effectively with anyone outside of their immediate peer group, etc. Often we see them as having only one voice register/communication approach, so when their approach isn't working for them, they often don't understand why.

[thesnowqueen]

I still think you should ask your T for clarification. I think you may be surprised how much people value questions - it means you care about what the other person thinks and that you want to understand it better!

[satsuma]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

We see this in some students we teach. They have survived some pretty difficult background, but they have no real sense of basic social skills, give and take of conversation and interaction, how to communicate effectively with anyone outside of their immediate peer group, etc. Often we see them as having only one voice register/communication approach, so when their approach isn't working for them, they often don't understand why.

I didn't really understand it as having this meaning, but perhaps it does. I used to teach as well. We would often see these kinds of things - not understanding turn taking in conversation, not being able to adapt register or respond appropriately to another person - among children who were somewhere on the autistic spectrum.
I understood it more to mean, having excellent social skills on the surface of things, being able to handle yourself very well and deal with everything well as far as anyone can see. But never actually allowing anyone to get close, never having any close relationships. Also avoiding some social situations because of a lot of anxiety, which other people generally didn't know about because it was mostly hidden anxiety. That's how it was for me anyway.

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

Yes ask for clarification. I would think "never socialized" is perhaps a bit too strong unless you have spent your life in the woods, alone.

Metaphorically speaking I guess I really have spent my life in the woods,alone.

I interpret her observation as saying you have survival and problem solving skills; are resourceful and perhaps cunning. Ability to overcome adversity. I think people can have street smarts while not necessarily having above average focus or abilities in handling stress.

Socialization as in societal norms rather than social skills.

I see it as a compliment. You developed the strength through figuring out things on your own, while at the same time, you did this an in environment that didn't foster things that help people thrive.