Couch 134 - The Untriquadium Couch

I've had a counsellor in primary care refer me up for psychotherapy (hospital outpatient is considered secondary care, and psych hospital is tertiary) after 4 sessions of solution focused brief counselling.

Then ex T was the psychologist assigned to me in the hospital outpatient clinic. After a round of CBT failed, she transferred me to her colleague (current T) who works with trauma.

That's the model in my country in public healthcare: The treating clinician works with you but is also assessing if you need a higher level of care. A good model unless you get labelled with a personality disorder, then you're considered NOT mentally ill and "hopeless to treat".

I'm not sure about private practice but some friends with complex trauma issues have had one session as intake/assessment before the T turns them away or takes them on.

Does this mean that you get no treatment at all with a personality disorder?

I had an ex-T who should have told me that she can't do anything for me. Instead she canceled appointments, couldn't find time for weeks or quit our sessions after 20minutes... I left after a year by canceling and never making a new appointment... I still feel guilty about that.
Current T also assessed me for the first 3 appointments, tellingg me that if it doesn't work out (or can't help me) he'll refer me to someone else

You get some treatment but it's hard to find a psych willing to work with "personality difficulties" in the public health sector unless you're an offender. Most who can afford seek private treatment, because there's a brain drain from public health to private health.

Damn, that T shouldn't have strung you along for so long

Do referrals actually do any good though? Ex-T gave me 3 referrals...the first 3 Ts that came up in a psychology today search for my area that did DBT. That took her a lot of effort and care!

Wow, that T honestly behaved so incredibly unprofessionally towards you ((Demunie))

Joining the nocturnal couch here tonight as i took an ambien and cant sleep either.

Im not taking 2 though. 🛌 ✨🌠

//https://forums.psychcentral.com/5436950-post11.html

https://forums.psychcentral.com/5437384-post19.html

Adding another way to answer ATATs question. My view of this is positive in most cases; whether it be done with good-ish or bad-ish intentions, it's a win win.

I just remembered how she basically forced me to bring my parents in 2 times (I was 19), although that was the last thing I wanted. She was a nice person though, I think she has been a great T, just not for me.

@scarlet: I think referrals can be valuable, if the T really takes time to consider who could be a good fit and who could have the abilities to help this person. Sorry your ex-T didn't care...

@skies: welcome on the couch

I hope your current T is a much better fit, Demunie. Wow, no way I'd have wanted my parents in my therapy. My younger brother started therapy at 19, I would never invite myself in without his OK

Welcome Skies!

Hi couch
I'm not really talkative, can i just take a nap here?
I'll need a pillow...

Thanks, just come around once in a blue moon. ��

I hate my work environment. Either it's casual queerphobia or it's unfunny SH/sui jokes at work, or jokes about family violence.

And I've tried looking for other jobs. Been looking. Found nothing that matches my weak office worker skillset and the application forms typically ask if you have mental illness.

Vocational rehabilitation is useless for people like me who don't have the skills for F&B work, or other blue collar jobs. I'm not looking down on those jobs, I think I can't do them because social anxiety disorder.

On the plus side, I guess getting more and more work means I have some value. Definitely worried about having to disclose my conditions to my new boss when my current completes transferring out.

Kinda amazing that I've kept me being in treatment for three and a half years secret still from my parents.

Happy vernal/autumnal equinox!

happy birthday to me

Hmm, my sister is talking with me again. I did tell her that her counselor can help with some of the stuff she's processing, her counsellor seems pretty good.

Think she's newly starting to own her truth and express that our parents are really controlling and that our father is really, really, really petty and likes to self aggrandize.

She says she wants to be my friend and says she hadn't been a good sister. She sure knows how to reel me in. Maybe she has really changed.

Would you like to be closer to her, QM?

Yes and no I've spent a decade chasing her to no avail while she treated me like I'm disposable. Then I worked on letting her go, expressing pain in therapy over how she has treated me.

Then now she wants closeness and promises support and connection and says she loves me and wants my forgiveness.

I'm super confused over what I want now. T and my partner think it's another round of her pulling me in to use and then dump me, partly because I'm ALWAYS going "She really means it this time!!"

But I think this time it's really maybe true. She's never entered counseling/therapy before. So I'm hopeful and also confused

((QM))

I can feel your courage.

Hugs! Honestly the support and care from you all at PC helps me a lot <3

Hugs QM... Maybe your sister has changed, maybe she hasn't. You can't know that, noone can. Maybe just stay in contact with her and wait. Time will show if you can start trusting her again or not. At least that's my opinion.
About your job situation... Could you try sending "blind applications" to companies you'd like to work at? Where I live companies often don't write out new jobs because they recieve enough applications anyway.

Pillow for captgut: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...d1128ad325.jpg

Happy Birthday, Crocus
I'm glad you're here.

Sorry if you don't want to share it... tell me and i edit my post

Happy birthday crocus

Thank you

@captgut - I have chosen to make it public information in my profile, so it's definitely fine with me to mention it. Thanks again!

Ohhh, happy birthday crocus!

Ohh, tapatalk didn't let me see it's your birthday. Happy Birthday Crocus!!

Demunie, good idea on applications and my sister. I haven't dared apply because I don't feel my skills are transferable but I do think a different work environment might be good for me. I've always wanted to enter a job in the social services, to be honest. Like IT in a social service agency or something. I think it'll give me more purpose and meaning.

I really hope time proves my sister trustworthy.

Crocus, I'm wishing you the happiest of birthdays!!

got to sleep at 2 30 am. i spent 3 hours tossing and turning, getting agitated, and kept having to get up and move around because of the akathisia. it truly felt like hell and like it would never end. i was so exhausted but could not lie still enough to fall asleep.

akathisia is probably the worst thing ever.

i said F it and got in my car and just drove around. then i came home and fell asleep

i had to get up at 7am today because i have to be at court at 9am in a different county for a speeding ticket