Couch 136: Transference Welcome!

I'm really enjoying it thanks. Yesterday my 8 year old threw a mega tantrum (over not getting her own way) and declared "I don't like Disney!" in the middle of Magic Kingdom. which was a bit demoralising but I think it was the time difference/heat talking and losing pool time today seems to have had the desired effect and we feel like a team again.
I can't wait to see the new Star Wars stuff in Hollywood Studios

You seemed to handle it well. I was in a major retail chain store a few weeks ago with my H and a child was having a full blown mega temper trantrum over not getting a toy she wanted. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and crying so loud that you can hear her through the whole store. The father put her in a shoppping cart a wheeled her outsid to calm her down. Her mother on the other hand? She bought the toy that the child was screaming over. When I hear a child act out that way I try not to think the child is unruly. I wonder if there is some sort of emotional/developmental issue. But that night...it was simply the child wanted the toy and when the father tried to defuse the tantrum the mom just set it up for it to happen again if the girl didn't get her way again.

Also, I think Ex-hankster hugs Stopdog to try and get an Ack.

I think SD has built up a resistance to the post hugs. There would be better odds for an Ack if ex-hankster gave her an emoji hug.

It takes more than that to bait me.

Thanks. I didn't feel like it at the time. I was fighting back tears on the ferryboat out of there thinking "what have I done wrong to have produced the only child in the world who isn't happy to be at Disneyworld? (That was tiredness and heat talking on my part too I think). We had a really good talk today though and I was very explicit that when you are in a group of people, the thing you want isn't the most important thing or the thing that needs to happen. She wrote a rhyme:

I want to go over here
They want to go over there
If grown ups say no
You've got to go with the flow

She wrote that? Very cute. Seems as though the message got through.

Yeah. I hope it has!

Agreed that it's a very cute rhyme--guess she inherited some of your writing talents! I'm guessing a good percentage of kids have a meltdown at Disney at some point--it's a lot going on! Plus the crowds, and, like you said, the heat. Hope the rest of the vacation goes more smoothly!

Ya know that scene in Up (i think), where a kid sees a fluffy stuffie, and screams "its so FLUFFY!!!" and kinda strangle-hugs it? Sometimes stopdog elicits those kinds of feelings in me. I dont see why i should have to stifle myself. Who are we, edith and archie bunker? You could tell archie didnt reeeeeeally mind, gruff as he was.

I do try to respect her space however and not to overdo it. A successful relationship is built on compromise and thats what we're learning here, right? I dont tell the gosling he must put pants on - i just dont look! boundaries!

It was Despicable Me. The youngest child likes unicorns.
And the question of stifling oneself versus thrusting oneself on others = why does the hugger's need to hug get to override the non-hugger's need to not be hugged. I don't mean here, but in real life any number of people seem to think their urge to hug means that they get to try (I usually can squash it and protect myself) and hug me even while acknowledging they know I don't want or like it. So why would me not allowing myself to be hugged against my will be stifling anyone's legitimate activities.

I think I might be losing faith in therapy. This isn't doing me any good, really, is it?

It's destroying me.

Mother Teresa questioned her faith. So its just proof what a great t you will be

Maybe me and the gosling need to start a church and raise you all up!! The church of no pants!

)))sd((( i notice you say "THEIR urge to hug" as if you are not involved in it. I guess sometimes we think we ARE involved with you in something? We share air, we share electrons. Again, boundaries.

Hugs, Luco...do you think you could talk to your T about this?

I can in 136 hours and 9 minutes when I see him again

My son had a Disney meltdown 10+ years ago... he wanted to ride a roller coaster again instead of watch the lights parade thing and he pouted through the whole parade and refused to look at it even. He was determined to be miserable until he got back to the coaster.

Hope the rest of your trip is happier!

Oops that last was to echos specifically of course and I can't edit

Don't you already have a church? It's called like the Church of Unaluna's Holy Rightitty or something like that? The big sin is gambling?

(The Russian ambassador is ripe for conversion by now.)

So earlier today, my daughter apparently decided that because it's a "shovel," she should put it in her sandbox:

Omg that is wonderful. It has certainly cheered me up a bit!

Good! Yeah, it's gotten good response on Facebook, so thought I'd share it here, too.

Sometimes not capitulating inwardly is very self affirming. They make you stand at the parade, but they can't make you like it.
I understand the desire to not like it. At times, cursing the darkness is a lot more satisfying than lighting the candle.

I am most assuredly not involved in or responsible for anyone else's urge to hug.
Boundaries indeed.