My therapist's daughter has a slipped disk and bone fragments floating. She's been in agony 10 days. All she can do is lay down on her back. She has a husband, 3 kids, and is going to college - which doesn't work so well when her back is out! She will probably need back surgery from what they can tell - which means my therapist is going to need some time off to go up there and help her daughter out.
My therapist is lovely - of course I want her to be with her daughter. She wants her mommy - she should have her! It makes me remember how much I wish I had that relationship with my mom!
But - I hate the unknown. Unknown of when she's going to take off, and unknown as to when she's going to return. She says "I'm not abandoning you, I will return, I will be back, I promise". But when... How will I make it... What if I need her... What if I need that connection, that hug to make it through... I want to cry, I want to hug her and beg her not to go or to take me with her!
I thought it was hard when she was gone for a week and knowing how long it would be when she'd return - now it's all unknown. It sucks

ohhhhh man....so hard isn't it... my T took off for emergency surgery one time.. and I just loved her.. and wanted her to get better.. but at the same time I was like "what about me"... "don't leave me"....

I know this subject came up before in another thread.. and there were different opinions... but I did end up calling a few times to a on-call T... the person was very caring.. and gave me reassurance when I needed it.. so that helped me..

In the meantime... you have us...

((((((((stormy)))))) I'm so sorry!!! Have you asked if you could call her or email her while she is away.

[purplemoon]

That sucks Stormy, I am sorry. When my T goes out of town I can email or call his cell, have you asked if that is a possibility.

Hang in there - the girls here are great. They will help you through.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((stormy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I understand how hard it is when my T is away. Even more hard when the return is open ended. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Know that I understand and care.

BB

Thank you for the warm responses.
I'm so depressed over this. I mean, I am genuinely glad she is going to be with her daughter. I just hate that she has to leave. I wish I was important enough to spend time with - that I mattered that much to her! I can't compare me to her family though, deep down I know that.
It's going to be really... really hard...

Hey Stormy... so sorry about this... I know how much it hurts when T is away.... Did your T actually confirm with you that she is taking some time off? If not, when will you find out for sure? We will help you make it through.

[Mouse_]

((Stormy)) Yes that is sooooooooo hard! part of you must be feeling so dam angry that she's doing this and then theres other part that feels how normal it is for a mother to be with her daughter in need...I hope it isn't too long before T can come back to you.

[lilacbutterfly]

When my therapist was out indefinitely for a back injury, it was agony for me, so I understand. He ended up being out for a little over a month, so be prepared for it to be a while. I'm sorry you have to go through it. I hope I never have to again.

I am not so much angry as I'm scared...

Right now, she's just taking next week off. Her daughter has surgery Monday. We do not know if that's all she's taking off, or if that's just for starters.

What if I can't make it without her?
What if I need her?
What if I want her?
I'm so selfish...

She's never been off more than 4 work days in a row since I've been with her, and I've always been scheduled for that 5th day back - to make it from Thursday's appointment to the next Monday or even later scares me because what if it's another week?

It's all just kind of hanging right now. I go to the same church she does but even there I won't see her if she stays with her daughter over the weekend.

But along with the scared feeling - I'm genuinely happy. I'm so glad her daughter gets to have such a loving mom with her- that her mom is willing to take the time off to care for her. I know how much pain the daughter has been in and how much my T has worried about her. To know that it will be fixed is a relief in a way.

It's so hard because I feel either way I put it, I'm not telling the truth. If I say I'm happy I leave out the sad, if I say how upset I am I come across as selfish.

((((((stormyangels))))))))

[debbie_tabor]

You don't come across as selfish, we all know how hard it is. Therapeutic relationships are hard where (maybe) you feel like mother and daughter in the relationship, but then she has her daughter to go and look after. Is there a replacement / fill-in therapist? I know it's not the same, but it would feel like you had someone there if you needed them.

Sorry, thought I'd bump this threat instead of making a new one!!!

Well. Today was her last day at the office. She called us at 5PM to come and get hugs and snuggles before she left.

I presented her with a poem I wrote for her that I framed, as well with a blue glass cross necklace (I have one that is green, and my roommate who I'm close to has a pink one).

She seemed to hold back tears as she read the poem. I created the poem because on Sept. 22nd it will be one year that I've been in therapy with her, and since she was going to be out of the office, I wanted to give it to her before leaving.

She proudly put the cross around her neck and hugged me.

We talked briefly about her daughter/their family and how it was going to hopefully go smoothly.

She hugged me again and we walked out together.

She told me, "I have my key and now the cross!!" (Both of us have a key, we both keep with us to hold on to that connection.)

We gave her one more hug and one of my little ones told her "I will miss you, and I love you". She said "I know, and I love you too"The first time we've heard it said outloud.

It'll be hard, but I know we can do it

How beautiful. How long will she be gone, Stormy? How are you holding up?

I have an appointment for Monday the 24th, so it would only be an entire week. However, if her daughter still needs her after the week or something God forbid goes wrong she will be out later. So I'm glad it's only supposed to be a week, but I'm on edge if it's longer.

The thing that's really been hard is I keep thinking about an assignment I have due for class Tuesday, a family genogram. T and I were going to discuss it Monday. So whenever I think about the genogram, I get happy thinking that I will see my T and share it with her Monday. Then it hits me, she won't be there this week! Whenever that happens it hurts a little more everytime I remember she won't be there.

I am doing relatively ok. My little alters inside are struggling, they miss her a lot. We are also genuinely concerned about her daughter and how she is doing. I think once it hits around Thursday we will be struggling.

I feel so weak for complaining when it's only a week.