Couch 140: Knocking pans

Yup, you got my story right I know he wants to fix things when sometimes stuff is hard to fix.

Morning, guys. Wish I could go back to sleep. Long day today. T appointment in a few hours, then I have to go to work tonight to chaperone the 8th grade formal

Yes, that description of tennis balls makes a lot of sense to me.

I'm waiting for my BF to come home. 8 hours to go. It can't be that hard to survive this time without damage, can it?
Why is it that being home alone always throws me for a loop? >.<

Not sure about you, but if I'm alone too long, then it gives me time to get lost in my thoughts. T calls it my "shame spiral."

I come bearing cake...birthday goodness!



Hope you have a good Saturday, Couchies!

What's it mean here when someone's account gets suspended? Just curious. I noticed under a certain members name it said account suspended. (nobody from the couch)

i remember this happening a lot in group therapy. people tapping their foot, or sniffing their nose, or anything.... would make me feel rage and i would leave halfway into the group. for the first few years i never made it thru a full group. i thought people were doing it on purpose to annoy me

ive seen that too. i guess they just violated the rules too many times

Is it your birthday Lost? That cake looks delish!!

Morning couchies! Well my sister's new house that she's having built is just about done and moving day is 5/25! So excited for her. I'll be going to visit at some point after she's all settled in!

Afternoon couch! Woke up around 6 this morning, are you kidding?! Went back to sleep after a while, just woke up for real around noon. How decadent! Got housework and laundry on tap today, better get busy. Have a great Saturday!

I survived the trip with the person who has plans about our emotional/sexual involvement that are not in keeping with mine. There was no cell service, it was hell, just us together in some old lady's house and then concerts each evening.

We went on a big ten mile hike up a mountain. He kept trying to walk next to me in the parts that were wide enough but I went fast and right down the center of the trail so he couldn't. At the top it felt great to have several large, forbidding boulders involved in our separation at any given time. It's hard to hold someone's hand or get too close when all your limbs are clinging to the side of a mountain. But I did take advantage of his interest in me in that he offered to carry all my gear in his pack. Ha.

I have one day at home to myself before we have concerts together again tomorrow. I'm trying to use the day to psychologically shake off the constant vigilance funk, but it isn't working, not yet. I feel all foggy. And my brain is being jabbed with a bunch of pencil points. Not the smooth mechanical ones, the wooden ones that I hate because they make my fingertips feel scratchy.

Can I borrow stopdog's "ack?" Just for today?

Ack

The hating all noise thing.... I have a really rough time with that.

My feeling is that on any given day, I have a certain quota of total number of noises I can tolerate. It varies day to day but I've been gradually getting better. But when I max out that quota, every thing or person that makes a noise sets off physical pain accompanied with colorful homicidal ideations. I've had to cancel work over it before. Being in music school was especially exhausting. I'm sorry so many of us are struggling with that. No one seemed to understand.

I posted some research (summary article) back there on sensory gating. They think they understand what causes it. Or at least they are trying to...

The tennis ball analogy really speaks to me. My sensitivity comes from trauma stuff primarily, but having people in close proximity, talking emotionally (annoyed or with urgent requests) is very hard on me. Unfortunately that's what my job often entails. My tolerance drops steadily throughout the week.

I just ordered a copy of my college transcript, had to do an electronic signature using my mouse, it looks hilarious.

eta: I already took an intro to psychology course back then, so hopefully I won't have to re-take!

Ugh. Exercised too excessively this morning and threw up. On the way home, triggered a red light camera flash, so even though I am very sure I entered on yellow, that's $500 and a defensive driving course.

But, hey, guess that means I'm really over my driving phobia!

Some hope for you, I saw the flash go off a few months ago (entered on yellow, hesitated because it was dark and couldn't figure out which part of the intersection was the entrance ramp I needed, FLASH)

Never got a ticket. I think they might review them if there's footage, at least around here. If you know for a fact you entered on yellow and the timing of the footage matches, it'd be worth going to traffic court if it means not taking that awful course.... at least for me....

We'll see. But if I do get a ticket it'll be my first in 22 years since getting my license. Another barrier broken!

I've also had the flash but no ticket!

I was following a thread that I was going to answer and now I can't find it. I think it said Ban From Therapy or something like that? I wanted to answer it because it sounded like a minor posting but I can't find it now.

Hi all. Hope I'm not interrupting any thread. Just wanted to say hey and say I'm in pain, in a small loud apartment and it sucks, but there aren't any better things and ways here I am just rambling
Sorry

Lots of rambling happens on the couch, no need to apologize! I'm sorry you are in pain.

I appreciate your reply. Thank you ❤️