Couch 140: Knocking pans

I wanna go to that private island. I am feeling super-duper cranky and tired. (Insert 15 year old stomp here.) It has something to do with how I've felt quite happy the past week or so and last night, that doubt crept back in and said in my head that I better watch out allowing myself to be happy because it's just going to cause something bad to happen.

ETA: To counteract the doubting voices in my head, I am taking action and working on my vision board. I just printed a map of Germany to stick on it because I want to go visit my brother while he's stationed over there. And I think I'll write a list of the classes I plan to take. Ooh and since I'm still working through the learn to draw thing I'll stick one of my sketches on it, and... yeah, this is fun. I'm feeling more positiver already. (Is that a word?)

I had a few tears, but actually not too many. This has been a long time coming. He's been on his own for quite a few years now, so it wasn't one of those "I'm losing my son" moments. It was just so beautiful, and she was just beaming from the moment the doors open. It was particularly special because she had my husband walk her down the aisle (and he's on crutches). Beyond that initial moment, I was fine. The pastor led a beautiful service (and actually he was rather funny.)

The one downside is that I started losing my voice about two days ago. I have really bad laryngitis; can't make a sound right now. It is tiring to try to communicate when I can't breathe well and can't talk. I don't really feel too terribly bad, but I'm worn out now. My sister and I are going to lounge on the couches and watch television tonight.

Thanks guys. Yes, they wanted to set me up to do the shockwave thingy to break up the stone, but I am TERRIFIED of hospitals and procedures and ICK. They would sedate me, but I'd be awake during it, and I have a co-worker who had it done and said it was the most painful thing ever. Soooooo....I opted to try another 2 weeks and see if it passes (it is right near my bladder, just large), and if not, I guess I will do the thing
Maybe you just have an amazing poker face that T's can't read (much like SD I'd imagine). My T has only recently stopped assuming that I was one session away from quitting. I've mentioned several times over the 2 years that I didn't want to be there, or maybe I should leave, and she has always been like "If that is what you want, you are more than free to leave." (I never have)

I should ask my h to teach me how to have a poker face - that could come in handy with t. she reads me far too well.

I just quit my job. I feel bad. Like i know is a bad choice. I cannot cope with that joke of a store any more. But i feel bad because now I'll be broke 'til i find something else

Granite, I'm relatively new here so I don't know the whole story of the mother. What little I have picked up on, what the mother did was horrific... why not let yourself be hurt and angry? I know it can seem like there's no point to it; however, I'm finding that with my T and in small chunks, it does seem to be helping.

You were sounding pretty miserable there. Can you still get a reference from someone there for a future job?

Probably yeah. Some of them know me well enough to known that this is not normal behavior for. Me. The last three years I've been a great employee. Never call out never late
Always get my stuff done.

Last Saturday when i yelled and screamed at that manager i saw that it was a red flag. That the stress there is affecting my mental health. I am never the type to do that or even shed a tear in front of people. Even my own MOM. So i know something is wrong

Anyway look at this image on a therapy advertisement on Facebook

Omg they want to suck our brains out??!

Eta - whats the code for that?!

Yikes, etc

No. 2 always claimed that the weird apparatus in the corner of her office was for EMDR...but now I wonder.

That is way yikes!!! wth??

my vision board is coming along nicely. i went to the store and bought some glue and some little heart stickers for it. now i'm printing stuff off the interwebs and some graphics i'm making and figuring out some other stuff. will post a pic shortly.

Here's my vision board so far. Lots of room on it still! Looking for more pictures and making some more graphics and stuff. What a great way to pull myself out of a crappy mood.

LG - glad the wedding went well.

Nice. I can't wait to see the whole thing!

I don't know - perhaps there are more of the puppies than there are of us.
It does boggle when they seem surprised by the obvious.

The woman actually told me one time that her other clients look forward to seeing her. I don't know if she is crazy or if all her other clients are certifiably mad. Or both.

I recommend:
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Madame T just bit her tongue off! Refunds, forsooth!

I have been warning about this for years.

Could be. I can be pretty inscrutable under pressure. Even W can't read me.

Velcro - I hope the stone passes quickly and by itself.

I wouldn't recommend a job in retail to someone with private problems. Beats me how anyone manages it.

You are the Cassandra of the Couch.