[Christina86]

I hate trying to identify my feelings. Actually I just hate them - period. Well, the two polar extremes the most.

I whined and complained about how I wasn't able to see my T a while ago (few days maybe?) ... still haven't been able to. Today I would have normally seen him.

I phoned Health Services today (I see my T through my university) and I couldn't get ahold of ANYONE to book an appt. (problem with administrative issues at the moment ... strike, boo). One of my friends is trying to help me out, but told me I really should try to contact my T.

And I wasn't able to.

And I know it's not his fault, but this feels like abandonment. (I so hate that word, if T knew I actually used it, he'd probably be shocked because I have a physical bad reaction to it). I need him. He's not there. I WANT MY T. I need someone to calm me down.

Also, the abuse centre he referred me to was supposed to phone me back - over a week ago. And they didn't. And I'm too scared to phone back and ask what happened. Because I'm rejected again.

Nobody wants to help me. I get the message. I don't deserve help.

I don't know if I can ever go back to T again. I *want* to, but maybe I'm too difficult. Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe I'm too screwed up and it's been too long - and it's only been just under 2 weeks - since I've seen him, and we can never ever get a connection again.

I risked trusting him. With everything.

And now he isn't here.

And now I'm going to go sulk and pity myself.

[(JD)]

I can't believe this has been here an hour and more and no one has replied to support you.

I'm so sorry you can't get in touch with your T. It doesn't seem logical does it, that "they" train you to rely upon them to make good therapy (I mean, this makes good therapy, good therapeutic relationships) and then when they aren't there, you're supposed to be ok alone!

What is your plan B? Did T make one with you yet?
I would surely tell him how you felt during this!

Breathe. Talk.

[DocClyde]

(((Canders)))

Sorry to hear, my friend...feel free to PM if you wanna talk.

I know you will get through this, you are a strong, capable person, one whom I am very honored to have as a friend. I would be so glad to talk to you about it if you want, I'm just a PM away (or is it AM, I never get my time right, LOL). very much

[Mouse_]

((canders))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((( Canders ))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((( Canders ))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
canders7 said:
I hate trying to identify my feelings. Actually I just hate them - period. Well, the two polar extremes the most.

I whined and complained about how I wasn't able to see my T a while ago (few days maybe?) ... still haven't been able to. Today I would have normally seen him.

I phoned Health Services today (I see my T through my university) and I couldn't get ahold of ANYONE to book an appt. (problem with administrative issues at the moment ... strike, boo). One of my friends is trying to help me out, but told me I really should try to contact my T.

And I wasn't able to.

And I know it's not his fault, but this feels like abandonment. (I so hate that word, if T knew I actually used it, he'd probably be shocked because I have a physical bad reaction to it). I need him. He's not there. I WANT MY T. I need someone to calm me down.

Also, the abuse centre he referred me to was supposed to phone me back - over a week ago. And they didn't. And I'm too scared to phone back and ask what happened. Because I'm rejected again.

Nobody wants to help me. I get the message. I don't deserve help.

I don't know if I can ever go back to T again. I *want* to, but maybe I'm too difficult. Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe I'm too screwed up and it's been too long - and it's only been just under 2 weeks - since I've seen him, and we can never ever get a connection again.

I risked trusting him. With everything.

And now he isn't here.

And now I'm going to go sulk and pity myself.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I can relate about feelings being overwhelming especially when you need someone's help, and that person is unable or incapable of helping. I won't ever go back to my former T beacause there was an incompativility factor and a case of broken trust.
The problem isn't you, Canders7. It's not about you being too difficult to help. It's about whatever difficulties the Health Services that your university offers is experiencing(lack of funding, ineffective supervisors, you mentioned...a strike...,etc.).

[Christina86]

Well, good news and bad news.

Good: Strike is over and I've booked an appt with my T.

Bad: It isn't until next Monday. That is so bloody long. I was *really* hoping to get in to see him tomorrow, but apparently he's fully booked. Bah.

My friend told me that I should stop thinking that I'm wasting his time since as my friend put it "there are very few people more needing this right now than you" ... not in the best place, as you can imagine.

I'll just try to hang in until Monday.

I hope it goes well. I need it to go well. And yet I *know* he's going to bring up the fact I won't be able to see him every single week like I'm used to.

Phooey.

Thank you ((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))) for your support. it is very much appreciated.

[January]

(((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))

You are WORTHY of the help that t can give you. Call them back and tell them you feel you can't wait until Monday to see him. It can't hurt to try.

Send a pm to me if wish. I'm here.

Hugs,

Jan

[ECHOES]

I'm glad you were able to call and get someone and an appointment. That is good news.

Sometimes they keep some time open for emergencies of all kinds. Could you call and ask if he might have time for and urgent need appointment?

What about asking him to call you and talk to you a bit to help you as you wait for Monday's appointment?

Do you have crisis lines there? That might be an option for you to have someone to talk to right now; I know it isn't T, but there are caring people there.

((( hugs )))