Boundaries

It may be that because he knows you better, he can better predict what your reactions will be in the situation, and also he is more able to assess that this may actually be helpful, thus he is willing to work with the legal issue.

My analogy is with teaching a physical activitY, let's say yoga. I might not teach certain balancing moves that could cause injury to a new student. But after I know them, their abilities and reactions better, I might feel more comfortable with it, even if for other people I would still keep it off limits.

But of course, I think you should talk this through more with kashi.

Just added more liability coverage to my auto policy that covers medical and lost wages if I am at fault. Can't kill my therapist I need him too much

I'm still curious to find out what exactly made kashi change his mind.

I've just read through this thread. Some of the first things that crossed my mind, and please correct me if wrong... Didn't you previously say on other threads that you felt Kashi was not challenging you enough, that he was friendly but the therapy with him not truly progressing (compared with other Ts)? And even that he was not that smart or something? Have you discussed any of these with him? If so, perhaps he is trying to change his approach and address your needs more directly?

Did you maybe mention how much the driving phobia was affecting you lately? Which could have made him decide to find ways to help you?

Great memory, yes I've said all of those things. I truly like this therapist but my last t was like a good personal trainer-- balancing friendlieness with pushing me harder.

Kashi is soft and squishy and a lovely guy but he hasn't been great with goal setting or practical change. He is good for other things so I don't want to switch therapists.

If he is changing his style to accommodate my needs I guess I should be grateful?

Absolutely. The drivers in the Dallas metroplex area have been recently ranked worst in the nation. I'm already a nervous driver and the antics I've seen on the road here are scary. The more work demands I go offsite from the campus the more I need to be able to drive comfortably.

Youre too funny.

What made him change his mind, or what it MEEEEEANS? Does it mean he feels closer to you?

Like when youre with friends, who picks the movie, or where to eat? I kinda never do. Like im never the ONE in that way. Not as a kid, and not as an adult. Its like he is used to treating other people as equals, and you are now an equal human. I am always the lesser human in my family. But with my t, and now the world, i feel more ranked.

I do feel terribly for pondering about his intelligence. I feel badly about thinking it and worse posting it. But I've always used PC to air my darkest thoughts.

What is worse is that he recently told me throughout school he was in special ed. Ouch. No way will I bring that up now. It would kill me to hurt him or insult him.

Hey the guy has his MA and I don't so there's that. Kashi for the win.

Maybe Kashi had a learning disability like dyslexia or something? But could still be pretty smart? He certainly sounds like he has a high emotional IQ, which is probably the most important quality for a T.

MC struggled in school some when he was a kid. He said his teacher once told his father (in his presence) that he'd always be a follower, not a leader, and not to expect him to amount to anything. He had to get speech therapy, too. Then he ended up going to Yale for undergrad and got his PhD at a non-Ivy, but pretty well-known school, too (don't want too much identifying info!). And he owns a successful therapy practice. So he's done OK. He's smart, though his spelling and grammar (and handwriting) are awful!

Yes kashi has medical reasons for his challenges and told me a similar story as what you describe with MC. His parents were told not to expect anything. What a terrible thing for a child to hear. It can become a self fufilling prophecy. Thanks for sharing about your MC!! I love a good underdog story.

But maybe that is exactly the kind of person you need in the car with you to kick this? Not critical, not likely to start screaming at you? Nothing to fear from the passenger seat?

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Yes, that is true. Even old t sparky made the mistake --once--of raising his voice at me in the car. That's the worst thing anyone could do while I'm trying to keep my sheet together while driving.

I agree with LT, there are many forms of intelligence. I often questioned the intelligence of my first T in the past, was even a bit resentful that he made himself look better on superficial media than he was in reality. With time though, especially more recently that I had a couple sessions with him after about a year of not seeing him (and working with a different T that was "smart" more with my own preferred measures of it), I grew to recognize his qualities much more. He is just not a science guy (and I am a scientist and often a little snobbish) but he has a way of approaching things and emotional qualities that I certainly don't have myself naturally. So I just focus on the qualities and skills that he does have and use him to address specific things that fit. Same for the other T. They both have specific roles but right now I am not seeing any of them regularly. As for degrees, the "not-so-smart" T actually has a PhD in social work and the "bright" one has a masters.

If you feel close to Kashi and like/accept him for who he is, the way he is, that's a great thing. I would discuss your concerns with him and see what happens.

It is an awful thing to tell parents--or kids. I mean, I still remember trying to take an oil painting class through the rec association as a kid, and the teacher told me my painting was "terrible" and the flowers "looked diseased." I was convinced I could never do art and was stunned when I got an A in art in high school (I'm still not very good, but hearing that made me think I should never even try).

MC has lots of underdog stories--there's also the "figuring out how to play on the basketball team while short" one (he's maybe 5'5"). That was the one where I mentioned to my T he shared it--it was a really bad analogy to something with me--and she was like "He played basketball?!?" and started laughing hysterically.